I am very sad because my scholarship has been denied/rejected by the univ. You know why? It's just because I took a semester break for delivery and confinement.
I'd been chasing them (the persons in charge) since before Ramadhan (I made the extension and settled on everything since July) but what I got was a very cold and negative response "Borang dalam proses" "nanti saya call balik" blah blah blah... Only few days ago, I got a letter from them, notifying that my scholarship has been terminated. (Ok. susah sangat ke nak proses benda alah ni sampai ambik berbulan2, in the end, reject!)
Last week, I received a letter from Bendahari, informing that I have not paid the study fees and wud be restrained from finishing my study if I don't pay it within two weeks time. (Giler, ingat aku anak dato'?)
What makes me more susah hati is that I've to go to Japan end of this year for a conference. Gosh, we all know that Japan is amongst the most expensive cities in the world!
So, all this things happen because I was pregnant, and having a baby?
Do you know how hard it was to carry a few kilos baby everywhere, kept fighting the 'every time' sickness and doing the hazardous lab works with tons of worries in the heart, hoping that the baby was all right?
(Eventough I was pregnant, I kept a good performance through out the time. But you know science research is not like baking cake!Oh, yes they don't know)
Do you know how hurt it feels when you know your right is being disclaimed just because of stupid and unacceptable reason?
What did I do wrong? Having a baby is wrong? Oooo I thought it is a noble job!
I don't understand one thing; Government says we Malaysians must contribute to the nation. And VC says the univ always help students to produce excellent achievements. But why is this thing happening to me? - Seriously, this is an oppression towards woman!
I was so depressed that for once, I put the blame on my son. If I didn't deliver him, I wouldn't have to face this problem. If I didn't have him, my life would've been easier. Maybe I could finish my study earlier. And one thing for sure, I won't face such a tough situation.
But then, the reminiscence of him, and the bonding between us knocked on my head...
Wherever I go, I'll remember him, and miss him... a lot
Whatever I do, I'll make sure it is the best for him, for both of us
No matter how tired, I'll treat him nicely
No matter how hungry, I'll make sure he'll get enough for himself
No matter how stressful life is, looking at his face, everything becomes fine!
If he isn't come to my life, maybe I would not have a very meaningful life like I have now.If I didn't have him, maybe I wouldn't have learnt a lot.
Then I know, I don't mind facing all the difficulties and losing all the opportunities, because insyaAllah I can survive.
But to give in my only sunshine, it means to set free of my soul...
Whatever happens, he is my priority
Because, he's the best thing that has ever happen to my life!
Aaron Houdd just after born: Lepas tahnik
Latest update = 25/11/2010
After begging and being fooled for more than a month (mobile follow up mengalahkan orang bercinta, tulis surat itu ini, ke ofis si pulan dan si pulun utk minta sokongan and all), finally I receive a straight answer from the officer (because I was being stern)...An answer that came not together with the black & white coz she said it is still in process. I think the black & white thing will take 100 years to settle!
And the answer was hell NO! And you know what, I've to wait for 4 months and 10 days just to hear a simple NO!
So now, even rayuan pun di tolak. I wonder who was the person in charge (is he/she a human?)
OK. since I've a kind of I knew it thinking, so the frustration is not as big and hurt as before. Cuma tetap tak boleh terima how on earth people can work com-pleasantly without realizing that they might put other people in problems and difficulties....
P/S: Can I curse them? A literal cursing will do better. Can I?