Thursday, September 29, 2016

Aaron: To stay or to change?

Of all the interesting stories to share, and all the happy moments to cherish, I have to apologize to you (whoever is reading this), and my memory- I am so sorry that I've suddenly chosen to bookmark this. And this is a rather long-winded post as I am expressing my worrisome here. Please leave as soon as you think this is going nowhere. And this time, no silly jokes in the middle (like I ever know how to crack a joke, heh). This is just seriously, serious adult stuff... Err. not that 18SX stuff OK *.^

Of my concern towards my son's education. (Bored already, haha. Bye bye. See you next time)

OK. lets go to some boring history. When Aaron was in Kindergarten year (KG), we were happy with his school and the system in general. Aaron had good exposure in both English and Arabic because in KG years, the system goes by swapping Eng-Arabic class in alternate days. During English-day class, they will go to their English teacher and for the whole day, they'd have English as their main medium of communication in class (with the teacher and throughout their simple routines). It also applied to Arabic-class day, except for English, Science and Math subjects. Due to mixed nationalities, the Arabic teacher will give translations whenever necessary.

First thing in the morning, they would have halaqah for Quran study, whereby the Muslim kids will be taught a few (surah) chapters from Juz' Amma, and they had to memorize them. Alhamdulillah, they passed until Surah At-Teen. They also had basic Islamic Study i.e. the pillars of Islam, a bit about hajj, akhlaq, etc (taught in Arabic, so we have to guide our kids towards the understanding of what they had learnt, but Alhamdulillah it was not so difficult)

Overall, We were satisfied with KG year. We built good rapport with Miss Fatima (her homeroom teacher) and Aaron was happy to go to school. I was not really keen on the homework concept because they were just 5 years old but I can't make big fuss about it since I think most parents think the other way around (more work and homework means more learning and that's good). Well, that's personal preference, nobody's right or wrong about it.

Honestly, we did homeschooling with him when he was younger and his achievement in terms of education didn't quite leap. He'd learnt almost the same things I already taught him, plus more, of course. BUT... I didn't teach him to read ... I was being slacker I let the school do this part HAHA. Well, if I did teach him to read in such a very early age, then he might feel bored at school... or maybe acted annoying, becoming MR. Know it all. I was saving him, man! I was doing the right thing. hahaha (^_____^)

Anyway... By the time he finished his KG 2 (he skipped KG 1 as it is not compulsory), he still wasn't able to read. I took it as it is, coz for me he was still small, and I know that kids develop interest (and milestone) at different pace. We're fine.

So what had he achieved than?
A lot. confidence, independence, making new friends, learning to tolerate, respect others, etc. In every parent-teacher meeting, 1st question we asked was 'How is Aaron at school. How is Aaron with his teacher and friends'. Because for us, akhlaq matters the most. Alhamdulillah he was popular among teachers for being a good kid (but also as quite a crying baby haha. apa lah hero Ummi!)

All this happiness... changed instantly when he was in Grade 1. The school starts its 'separating system' starting from Grade 1. All expat students (non-arabic speakers) were to be in the same class. (And we didn't know about this earlier!).

So, he didn't have as much exposure in Arabic anymore. Though we're not happy with it, but we understand the school's concern i.e. to make learning more convenient for both teacher and students. However, in reality, things did not go as it is. Our kids were put in an experimental phase whereby they kept changing methods and I later found out that they even have problem to find a suitable teacher for the expat students. Whatttt?! And not only that, the muslim students were expelled from Islamic Study somewhere during mid-term, with the same reason; book is in Arabic, and no suitable teacher that can teach the expat students because they are mostly not fluent in English. And of course I got this info from a teacher there (we became friend), nothing from the management. This, has made us even angrier! No wonder everytime I checked, he didn't have the book. I thought they have to keep the book at school, but then everytime I asked Aaron what did he learn, he said no IS. 

OK that was last year. I have convinced my husband to change school since then. Actually almost all International schools here have the same system i.e. Non-arabic speakers have to take Arabic for beginners, or some even have no long-term Arabic. But there are schools that don't separate the students. Nevertheless, at least no hassle like this. My husband said it is not easy to change school. Plus, something had came up last summer that had changed our big plans, including hajj and school. OK then, we give it another chance. They may have already settle this issue over the summer.

Heck we were wrong. Last 2 days we had a parent-teacher meeting and the same problems were being raised again. Not only from me, but most of the parents there! Even the Spanish mom was very upset that her son is not learning much in Arabic. She even proclaimed that her son's Arabic level is wayyy better when he was in KG. Which, I couldn't agree more!

We first asked whether we can put Aaron in an Arabic-speakig class. Most of the students can speak English very well so I don't see any problem for Aaron to communicate with his friends. And apparently these classes have no problem with their Arabic teachers. I also want him to learn Islamic Study. Yes it would be a big challenge for me to explain to him again to ensure he get the right info but I don't mind at all... But it seems impossible to them, because if not they had already done this last year (We've been asked since Grade 1). 

So. yeah, putting him into Arabic-speaking class is our Plan B. We discussed this with Aaron. Last year, he was OK to change class. But this year, he declined. I understand why. He's already comfortable with his circle of friends. They've been together since last year. Now this is another battle to tackle. Our kid's psychology vs. his best interest. 

But than, what other choices left? change school? Hmmm...

What's so big about learning Arabic and Islamic Study? It is just personal preference with reasons we have in mind. And this school isn't cheap man, they made us pay for it. And we are in a right place to learn Arabic first-hand. So why not? Plus if in the future we have to change country or school, if his level isn't at par with the requirement for that particular Grade, than that would be another problem. 

Really, I am so disturbed by this. And there is reason why I'm writing this here..... Because. Because it is easier to express feeling to nobody and I am tired of acting like a whimper to anyone around me. I don't feel good about it. And sorry again if I have ever made you feel intrigued to read this until the end. You must be very patient! Nah, I give you virtual hugs! wink wink.  

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Life as an expat in Muscat (Part 2)

During my early days staying here, I didn't know much about the life and culture of the Omanis, although we live in an area where I can consider as local area because 95% of our neighborhood are local people.

According to my husband, most of our neighbors are senior government servants, hence the laid-back and safe atmosphere. Although I don't know most of my neighbors (the wives mostly spend their time at home or work or outside with friends *you would only see housemaids running errands and escorting small kids to the playground* and some of them don't really speak English, and I am also an introvert that stays at home most of the time), but they are OK. Well, at least nobody has ever bothered us. 

Honestly, at first, I preferred to live in The Wave (about 10 mins driving from our house). It is a high-end residential area where most of the dwellers are expats (mostly the Westerners) and modern Arabs. I like the place not because of that, but because of its accessible facilities (Private beach, playgrounds, grocery store, gym, pools, and a lot of eateries all in one place). The only constraint is, of course, the budget. Haha. Sorry to reality, we are not that rich! (not yet, one day inshaAllah!). 

But then... I came to realize that, the kind of life I am having right now is actually the best for our family. 

2. A Relax place to raise kids

Yes, this is why. Here, I don't have to worry too much about my kids' safety. I can even let my 6 years old Aaron cross the road and buy stuff from the shop nearby all by himself if I want to, just like the local kids here (which I haven't try yet, and maybe not now, thank you. Hahaha) 

Basically, the environment here is similar to our childhood era (back in the late 80's or early 90's) where we were free to ride bicycle to our friends' houses, walked to the small shops nearby and happily play outdoor games with friends all day long and only went home at Maghrib time.

We have nearby playground with a very basic facility but enough to let the kids enjoy their afternoon. We have small stores across the street where I don't really buy stuff there but is surely handy whenever I suddenly realize that I ran out of eggs, or milk. (but I hate it when the kids especially Saraa crying for ice cream that she can just watch from the window to see whether the shop is already open).

Somewhere in 2015, our neighborhood. Photo taken from the window. A kampung environment, only no wooden houses here. Because, they don't built house using woods.
And the best part is, I loveeeeee to see the local boys with their dishdasha (man's traditional attire/dress/jubah) marching to the mosque in front of our house during every prayer time. They are as small as 5 or 6 to teen ages and they go there by themselves, without having to wait for their father. It is simply a pleasant scene for me. The number will increase during school holidays and Ramadhon. And even ramadhon, we will see cars filling up the side road even during Fajr and noon prayers. I learned that they can sometimes be really naughty. I saw once or twice they threw medium sized stones to each other as a game, on the way back from Solat. And yes they sometimes can be very harsh and loud!. But I love the fact that here, they teach the boys to go to mosque during prayer times, irregardless! And when Azaan Maghrib, they know to go home. It is just like a kampung life style, isn't it!

Actually, not all residential areas are like this. There are places similar to Damansara, Bangsar, etc, in terms of its convenience and density. I only refer specifically to our neighborhood. But overall, we Malaysians agreed that in general, the safety here is better than in Malaysia.

I guess I would never experience this if I stay in the expats' area. I am thankful to have this opportunity. It is a life lesson and indeed an experience worth to keep. But if my husband ever ask me again whether I want to move to The Wave or Madinat Qaboos and the likes, I would definitely say Yes! Hahaha. Well, at least I can learn something new over there right?!
                          
Overall, I am just thankful and grateful. Our house is still easily accessible to a lot of places: 3-5 mins to Muscat City Center Mall and hospital, 5-10 mins to Vegetables and Fruits Market that sells our favorite coconut juice, 10 mins to The Wave for eateries, 10 mins to beach, 15-20 mins to Wadi Al-Khoud (ala-ala river), nearby to the best mishqaq stall (traditional zanzibari skewers), 5 mins to Sahwa Park- a big public park with a lot of flowers and playgrounds and most importantly, only a few steps away to the mosque - rajin tak rajin je orang lelaki dalam rumah ni nak pergi! hihihi.

So well, this is the snippet of our life as an expat here. InshaAllah  in the next entries, I will share my insight about the Omanis and the Malaysians living here
On the way to our house. Big/main road to our residential area. Quiet kan? But during weekdays busy juga during peak hours

End of winter and beginning of summer, April 2016

Sunday, April 17, 2016

A Little conversation about almost everything!

Dear Aaron,
The urge of keeping this as part of your childhood memory is compelling and I think this is quite good since we don't really have close conversation between just the two of us since the day you arrived from your Spring holiday in Malaysia (alone).

I always believe that 'talking' is part of your strength. After all, your name is chosen after the name of Prophet Haroon, the one that was known for his oratory skill! (^______^)

I love to have conversations with you because I love the way you ask questions and trying to understand the whole topic. I don't mind scratching head to answer your tricky-yet-honest questions because I know you will eventually get the point and I always satisfy with the way you comprehend to my explanation. Alhamdulillah.

Like tonight. you couldn't sleep despite the tiring 3-days and nights full of activities. Hence, our bedtime routine became a little too long as we went into (seems to me like) a very serious, never ending conversation.

Aaron: Ummi, I can't sleep coz I am afraid.
Ummi: Remember, we should not be afraid except only to Allah
Aaron: Yes, Allah and Shaitan
Ummi: You should not be afraid of shaitan. Shaitan is just one of Allah's creation like you, me, Hawwa, trees, ocean, etc. So why do you afraid of shaitan?
Aaron: Because shaitan is strong too
Ummi: No it is not. Allah is the strongest. And you know, you are even stronger than shaitan....
Aaron: (interjected before I finish) I know I know. I can fight shaitan! Erm.... How? I forgot... Oh yes... I have to pray!
Ummi: Yes, and memorize the quran. That's why you have to read quran and memorize the surah. 
Aaron: But why shaitan afraid when I pray? he will go far away right?
Ummi: Because shaitan doesn't like when you pray to Allah and do what Allah asks you to do. Inshaa Allah, if you pray to Allah, Allah will protect you from shaitan.
Aaron: Ummi, Allah creates shaitan?
(Ummi nod)
Aaron: Us too?
(Nodding again)
Aaron: When did Allah create us? When we're born?
Ummi: Actually, Allah created you when you were inside your mother's womb
Aaron: Worm? is it good worm or bad worm?
(I think he got confused he thought I meant worm)
Ummi: It's not worm like the one that eat your teeth when you don't brush your teeth (haha I got him scared by saying cavity is worm to get him brush his teeth when he was smaller. I'll correct that later on)
Ummi: Its W.O.M.B its a sac. You know sac?
(Aaron shook his head)
Ummi: It's like a bag where baby stays there when he's inside his mom's belly
Aaron: I was there too when I was a tiny baby? Why baby stays there first?
Ummi: Because at that time baby was soooo small. he cannot feed himself, cannot move... He needs his mother's help to grow. Only when he's ready to live in the world, then Allah makes him out
Aaron: How does baby go out from the womb?
Ummi: Allah will make a way for it. There will be a tunnel and a hole to let the baby out.
Aaron: It comes out from the butt right? (I think I shouldn't say hole to make thing less complicated haha)
Ummi: Not butt
Aaron: Then? 
I was about to say it but I didn't hahaha.
Ummi: Somewhere close to butt but not butt
Aaron: I can't see it right?
Ummi: Yeah
Aaron: Why?
Ummi: It is not important for you to see it now. 
(But Aaron knew sometimes baby can't come out through the tunnel so the doctor has to cut the mom's belly to let the baby out. Just like his case)
Aaron: Errmmm....But I can't see Allah too? How is Allah looks like?
Ummi: I don't know how is Allah looks like. I can't see Allah too. 
Aaron: But you said we can see Allah after we die and after we alive again right?
Ummi: Yes. You want to see Allah?
Aaron: Yeah yeah!!
Ummi: Then you have to do good and be good. Only good people can see Allah in the heaven
Aaron: But then, where is Allah now?
Ummi: Allah has His own place
Aaron: Is Allah in the outer space?
Ummi: Erm... not really. (I was hesitate to answer this)
Aaron: Oh is Allah outside the earth?
Ummi: Yes. OK the most important thing is, if you want to see Allah, you must be a good boy OK?
Aaron: OK Ummi.
The conversation didn't stop here. There was some discussions about how when you use your brain you'll become clever and vice versa but I think it's going to be too long.

I don't know how on earth a 6 years old boy can bombard questions non-stop. He didn't even pause long from one question to another. Well I guess, because he's a kid hence he is still full of wonder. I bet most of us (moms and dads) have been in this situation right? They want to know everything so instantly as if they are going to sit for an exam!

Oh Allah please bestow us with wisdom and patience in raising our children. Ameen!

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Life as an expat in Muscat (part 1)

"I only need 2 weeks in Kyoto to see the beauty in it. But it took me 2 years to do the same to Oman"

That was my testimonial on my second year living in Oman. Perhaps I took too long to adjust. Or maybe I focused so much on domestic issues like (the most obvious) how people here tolerate patience and the F1-excellent-driving skills they have!

Here, getting honked by vehicle behind you right after the traffic light turns green is just like music to your ears. Watching people quarreling about a parking spot is also normal (We have had an experience with a very very rude parking lot steal-er too!). Oh, the most ordinary scene here is that you'll find gigantic-expensive vehicles parked ON the pavement/sidewalk. Also, people here multitask a lot during driving! I wonder whether or not they notice that their expensive cars are equipped with bluetooth app for hands-free!

Well, if I were to compare between Muscat and Kyoto, that is so not an apple to apple comparison. Like, come on! We all know that Japanese are among the most discipline people in this world. You nak compare with the arabs? Hahahaha - evil laugh (I hope no arab ever read this). But if you want to compare between Oman and our beloved country, and Omanis and Malaysians, that one sure can loh!

But to tell you the truth, Oman is actually the nicest country among the GCCs and other Arab countries!

*Looks like someone's in love with this country already! haha*

As a start, there are a lot of things I like about Oman:-

1. Beauty and nature

"Beauty has an address"


This tagline is made to advertise Oman for its tourism...And yes it is true.
You can find beaches everywhere, even in Muscat (the capital of Oman). They are open beaches so do not expect for any toilet or changing rooms. The beach nearby our house is actually a fishermen's area but it is till nice and people still come for activities. They are also some beaches that accommodate recreational purposes such as for picnic, BBQ and gatherings, hence some simple huts were built. 

Recently I went to Surr (outside Muscat). It was about 2 hours driving from home and we were simply entertained by nature along the way! Oh I love the ombre colour of the beach, the coastal, different colour of rock mountains, and even the goats, donkeys and camels that contribute to spectacular nature scenery. 

this photo was taken on our way to Sink Hole. just the beach along the way.



Another pit stop with amazing scenary, somewhere in Surr


Other than beach, Oman is famous with its wadis (a valley that is dried at most place but has small amount of water stream). People love to do wadi bashing or camping there. However, during rainy days, wadi can be the most dangerous place for people.

Mountains are also popular as tourist attractions. We have two most popular mountains, which are Jabal Akhdar and Jabal Shams. 

Jabal Akhdar, credit photo to Mr. Hubby

And not a lot of people know Oman has cherry blossoms in Wekan Village. Though you have to do some off-road and walking a few kilometers to reach the destination, it's all worth the effort!

There are other beautiful places to visit in Oman such as Salalah, Nizwa, Wahiba Sand, some villages and whatnot. But one can only appreciate this country and its nature if you are a nature lover. If you love shopping, tall building, etc, than this is not the place for you.

Oh anyway, you will not find sophisticated buildings in Oman, even in Muscat; its capital city. Most of the buildings, especially the government offices, still preserve the Arabic architectural at least to its minimum level.  

And Muscat is a clean city. Truthfully, it is not because of the people here. If not for the municipality, I don't think this place could be this clean. But I salute the government for taking cleanliness as serious issue. 

As-Sahwa Park, Mawaleh South (about 3-5 minutes driving from home)

Sink Hole, Najm Park

Al-Hazm Castle, Rustaq


Grand Mosque, Muscat. credit photo to Mr. Hubby


I think I'm getting too long if I continue here. In shaa Allah I'll continue in the next entry :)
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Oh my, what a formal essay! When I re-read this, I imagine myself holding a hailer in front of a bunch of old people with cameras and maps in their hands (tourist laaa), and reading this outloud! Urghhh... my writing is getting worse, and so does my language skill!

Photobucket

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Parenting Tips: Lesson from Surah Yusuff by Sheikh Sajid Umar (Part 2)


So this is the continuation of Parenting Tips: Lesson from Surah Yusuff (part 1)


#5. 3rd TIP from Surah Yusuf, 12:5: Teach your kids about tauhid

وَكَذٰلِكَ يَجتَبيكَ رَبُّكَ وَيُعَلِّمُكَ مِن تَأويلِ الأَحاديثِ وَيُتِمُّ نِعمَتَهُ عَلَيكَ وَعَلىٰ آلِ يَعقوبَ كَما أَتَمَّها عَلىٰ أَبَوَيكَ مِن قَبلُ إِبراهيمَ وَإِسحاقَ ۚ إِنَّ رَبَّكَ عَليمٌ حَكيمٌ
That is how your Lord will choose you, and teach you the interpretation of dreams,1 and complete His blessing upon you and upon the house of Jacob, just as He completed it earlier for your fathers, Abraham and Isaac. Your Lord is indeed all-knowing, all-wise.’

OK. Do you remember the life story of Prophet Yusuff from the day he received the dream until the day he was being reunited with his father and brothers? 

Do you remember the obstacles that Yusuf (AS) had to endure along his prophet-hood journey? 

Please read the translation of Surah Yusuff so that you will understand how is these 3 ayaahs (12: 4 - 6) relate to the whole surah, and relate to the best fundamental parenting tips we can benefit from, inshaa Allah.

In the meantime (to not make this post look unfinished, hehe) lets review the significance of this ayah.

إِنَّ رَبَّكَ عَليمٌ حَكيمٌ
Your Lord is indeed all-knowing, all-wise.’

This is the ayat about TAUHID, about Allah, the ayat that Prophet Ya'qub taught his son, the ayat that had built faith in Yusuff.

Short and simple word, BIG impact!

Yusuff was a small boy when he was abducted from his father. Now, imagine our small child at the age of 5, 6 or maybe 7. Imagine if someone kidnapped him/her, or bring him/her away from us. Nauzubillah min zalik. Yes, even to imagine, we simply can't!

But this is what had happened to Yusuff (AS)! 
But Yusuf had a proactive father that gave him wisdom even from a young age. Because of that,  by Allah's will, Yusuff survived the tests.

When he was all alone, in a dark, at the place where he thought nobody would know he was there, indeed. Allah knows! He is all-wise!

Then he was brought away from his country, a foreign land to him. He must had been scared, and his father didn't know where he was, how he was, and he was all alone, but no, he wasn't alone, for Allah was with him, and Allah is all-knowing!

When he was tested with an attempt of adultery, where nobody was around but only him and a woman who was willing to surrender everything for him, while he was a young man with desire, he chose to ran away. Indeed, he knew, Allah is all-knowing. Allah is 'Alim, Allah is Hakeem!

And then when he was imprisoned while he was innocent, yet nobody helped him and stood up for him. Did he feel despair and hopeless? Indeed, he knew that Allah knows, Allah is 'Alim, Allah is Hakeem!

Allahuakbar!
This, many audience broke into tears! 
Allah is so close to Yusuf's heart. He has strong faith in Allah.
And who taught him that? His father.
When? when he was just a small kid!
And what about us?
If we think our kids are still small to understand, and we don't make an effort to even try, how can we sure that when our kids are in their teen age; the age full of wonder, desire, and bravery, they are capable of restraining themselves from the tests? How can they have Allah in their heart?!

Yes, for some reasons the western researchers say that young kids should not be burden with too much info, heavy info, etc. (I just read about this a few days ago mashaAllah!). But what this surah teaches us is to not rebuke our kids' intellect. They are born in fitrah, and they can understand knowledge about tauhid. (Of course this is a story about two prophets, one as a father and another one as his son, and of course we can never be at par with them. But that is not the point. We just need to try and re-try. Make effort)

#6. The teaching of kind heart and forgiveness.

During the end of the story, Yusuff was reunited with his brothers and father. At that time, he was a minister in Egypt, his brothers came to him for protection. What did Yusuff do? 

Despite what they did to him around 50 years or so ago, he forgave them!
Yes, Yusuff forgave the men that abducted him and separated him from his beloved father and brother (Bunyamin).

Surah Yusuff, verse number 100. Yusuff (AS) said that Satan induced his brothers. He forgave his brothers, because he knew his brothers were under the influence of satan. He blame the satan.

Subhanallah!
Remember we talk earlier about effective communication?
Prophet Ya'qub told Yusuff about not telling his brothers about his dream because he afraid his sons will get jealous (under the influence of satan)

Now... even after 50 years, Yusuff (AS) still remember the teachings of his father.

Most of us remember Yusuff as a handsome man. That is what we've been taught since small. But little that we aware that he is not just a good looking man, but also a man with good heart. 

He held no grunge against his brothers, and other people that cause trouble in his life.
{So after this, please don't just tell story about Yusuf, the handsome prophet, was seduced by a woman. Tell the story until finish. There is more to learn about the life of Yusuff (AS)}

#7. Our children are our assets in the hereafter.
This statement is debatable but let just be positive. Sheikh talked about the famous hadeeth about 3 deeds that benefit us even after we die; 1) Our continuous/ongoing sadaqah (donation), 2) knowledge which is beneficial, 3) The prayers from our pious children (HR Muslim).

Guide our children the Islamic way. Teach them manners, and do not be overprotective towards small things (i.e. let our kids know about responsibilities, knowledge, etc). Let them make mistakes through learning while we are around so that we can correct them. If we are too afraid to see them make mistakes through life lessons, how can we correct them when they make mistakes while we are not around anymore?

Prepare our children to be among the pious mankind, and may we have the benefit through the prayers from our pious children when we are gone.

I am so sorry I am not a good narrator. I think  for a better understanding and knowledge, you can watch Sheikh Sjid Umar's lecture on Youtube. I am sure you can benefit more knowledge first handed.

As for me, even after almost a month attending this lecture, my heart throbs when I imagine how Sheikh delivered his speech. Very powerful, and emotional. And I realize, there are a lot for us (my husband and I) to improve.

May Allah give us wisdom to raise our children, and may we have sabr with us all the time :)

Friday, February 19, 2016

Parenting Tips: Lesson from Surah Yusuff, by Sheikh Sajid Umar (part 1)

Please feel tempted at this entry's tittle, because someone is trying to be an ustazah and start giving a lengthy lecture about parenting, please please! (Jerk. Haha). 

OK. For those who have no idea who this Sheikh is, you can read here. Basically, he is one of the Islamic speakers and lecturers in Al Kauthar Institute, an activist in Da'wah. Try to listen to one of his lecture in sha Allah you'll fall in love with the messages.

So a few weeks ago, he came to Oman and Alhamdulillah he was given a slot about Lessons from Surah Yusuf. I promised myself to share what I got with my husband, since he decided to take care of the kids while I was attending the lecture so that I can have full focus on the lecture. Barakallahu feek ya habibi, even I know this is one of your favorite sheikh. I consider that as my 'compulsory time-off' (which in sha Allah I'll write about this next time). And why I end up writing here is because my husband gives me a task to share this in public. I feel guilty to not accept his task considering his effort and sacrifice.... So please bare with this lengthy post and may we all benefit something from this. Ameennnn. 

#1. Sheikh started his lecture with the encouragement of attending 'majlis ilmu' (gathering for the remembrance of Allah). He recited a very powerful hadith from Sahih Muslim  as an eye (and heart) opener to motivate us all to keep busying ourselves attending this sort of gathering (or if not possible at least listen to lectures whenever we can). Note: It is the 36th hadith from the 40 hadeeth of Imam Nawawi - May Allah bless Xifu Nasser for his effort 10 years ago to make us memorize some hadith an easy and fun way!

Here is the hadeeth's translation:
On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

Whoever removes a worldly grief from a believer, Allah will remove from him one of the griefs of the Day of Resurrection. And whoever alleviates the need of a needy person, Allah will alleviate his needs in this world and the Hereafter. Whoever shields [or hides the misdeeds of] a Muslim, Allah will shield him in this world and the Hereafter. And Allah will aid His slave so long as he aids his brother. And whoever follows a path to seek knowledge therein, Allah will make easy for him a path to Paradise. No people gather together in one of the Houses of Allah, reciting the Book of Allah and studying it among themselves, except that sakeenah (tranquility) descends upon them, and mercy envelops them, and the angels surround them, and Allah mentions them amongst those who are with Him. And whoever is slowed down by his actions, will not be hastened forward by his lineage.

[Muslim]

#2. Parenting starts before marriage! 
- Seek knowledge as much as we can, even when we are still single. 
- But it is never too late to start good parenting, and in fact, we have to always improve our parenting skills.
** Sheikh suggested us to have a thinking day!
 -i.e. A moment where we muhasabah ourselves so that we can keep ourselves in track, re-think, re-do and re-correct things that we have regretted along the journey. 

#3. 1st TIP from Surah Yusuf, 12: 4 - Intimate relationship between a father and his child 
إِذ قالَ يوسُفُ لِأَبيهِ يا أَبَتِ إِنّي رَأَيتُ أَحَدَ عَشَرَ كَوكَبًا وَالشَّمسَ وَالقَمَرَ رَأَيتُهُم لي ساجِدينَ
When Joseph said to his father, ‘Father! I saw eleven planets,1 and the sun and the moon: I saw them prostrating themselves before me.’

Allah doesn't start this story with 'Once upon a time'. Instead, He starts with this ayah above. A very straight forward story about a boy who always refer to his father whenever he's in dilemma: A boy who trusts his father and prefers his father more than anyone else!

Instead of going to his 11 brothers, or his peers similar his age, Yusuff (AS) went straight to his father after he got a very confusing dream. This shows how intimate this father-child relationship is. 

BE A GOOD FATHER AND INVOLVE IN YOUR CHILD'S LIFE!
COME WHAT MAY, YOU ARE YOUR CHILD'S HERO...

In this life, we have 2 roles, 
(1) mandatory role - Being a child, parent, mom, dad, etc
(2) elective role - us as a career person (doctor, cook, banker, teacher, etc), voluntary work, etc.

-DO NOT let your elective role overshadowing your mandatory role!
-You are the best teacher to your children.  Sheikh reminded us to NOT pass on our responsibility to others. Don't  just rely on school, society, strangers to be your kids' teacher.  

Children learn from us, parents. So set up good examples for them to follow.
For instance, in this ayah, Yusuf (AS) called his father يا ابت, which means my dearest dad (some technical arabic nahu/grammar with the ت behind the اب that indicates the softest, most honorable tittle). Because, when we read the next ayah, Prophet Ya'qub calls his son with the softest call, يا بنى (my dearest son). 

Respect and trust are earned. We want our children to respect us, we have to first show how respect is. And trough a fond relationship, inshaa Allah trust is earned too. 

#4. 2nd TIP from Surah Yusuf, 12:5 - Effective communication and respect your child's intelligence
قالَ يا بُنَيَّ لا تَقصُص رُؤياكَ عَلىٰ إِخوَتِكَ فَيَكيدوا لَكَ كَيدًا ۖ إِنَّ الشَّيطانَ لِلإِنسانِ عَدُوٌّ مُبينٌ
He said, ‘My son, do not recount your dream to your brothers, lest they should devise schemes against you. Satan is indeed man’s manifest enemy.

Prophet Yusuf (AS) was a small child (less than 7 yrs old according to mufassirin) when he had that dream. But prophet Ya'qub (AS) addressed the matter in a proper way albeit dealing with just a small boy. He kept his son informed with the right information in an effective way, even for the heavy topics e.g. about SATAN. You know why? 

Because Prophet Ya'qub didn't know how much time he had to be with his child. 
So do us. We are unsure of how much time we have with our children, right?! Why not start now. Teach our kids about Allah, tauhid, shaitan, shirk, etc.

We want to wait for the right timing but when is the right timing? Are we sure we have the future to give guidance to our children?

So perhaps, instead of waiting for the right timing, why don't we make the timing right. How? 
by effective communication!

We surely can learn effective communication from this ayah, mashaAllah! 
-to give command --> to explain --> to guide

Lets look into this ayah. First, Prophet Ya'qub commanded his son (do not tell your dream to your brothers). Then, he explained to his son the reason of his command (they will make plan against you). Next, he gave guidance to his son (shaitan is indeed man's manifest enemy). Our common mistake is, we tend to give order (command) but we don't explain, never mind to give guidance. 

HOW EFFECTIVE is his teaching?
Ahhaaa.... please read the 2nd part of this topic.
(I separate into 2 parts so that it doesn't look too long)

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Assalamualaikum, a comeback entry?

Assalamu'alaikum wbt.

Last posting was 2 YEARS AGO can you believe it? Haha. (Actually what I couldn't believe is that I AM NOW updating my blog...Tadaaaa!)

Been missing blogging so much but no courage at all (and the truth is LAZY) to blog.
I know the fact that nobody really blog nowadays. C'mon, who has time to nagggggggggg nowadays? Everybody prefers tweeting and FBing. But for a person who always naggggggggg like me (oh so annoying ha that naggggggg thing. Stop it!), I think it is better for me to blog rather than nagging on FB and even instagram! (memang mak nenek insta pon caption bebel! haha)

NO. that is actually not the real issue. That was just a bad intro! The thing is.... urghhhh.... I think I need to blog to actually gratify myself. As much as it sounds so pathetic, I admit that sometimes, I lose myself. I lose my perspective. Been busy with the 3 angels and everything else, been sacrificing my social activities with friends and spending most of the time at home, oh I can be insane sometimes! Don't get me wrong, I am totally happy with my life. I am just stating the fact as a perfectly normal adult, sometimes we need other adults that can understand our language and rambles for our own sake. At least if I blog, I can pretend that I am talking to someone. Wei pathetic. haha. Husband must be smiling reading this, hopefully less nagggggging after this kan Sayang? haha.

And Oh, I forget very easily! Never mind about dates and days because that is so typical of me, but I don't really remember when was Eve's first crawl, or her first word, how much weight she (and the other 2) gains, and things like that. Psttt. I've even forgotten what I got for my last birthday! Maybe, I am just being realistic, that this is just how a normal life should be, that we not need to remember everything! Maybe, those things are important, but don't really matter. Maybe, I am getting old (that is for sure honey). But wouldn't it be sweet if I can just write down anything about them for our future reference? Because as of this moment, when I look back at my old posts, I never stop smiling reading about Aaron. 

OH. Forgot to tell you. Eve Hawwa is our 3rd angel! She is ermmm around 10 months old. wait. Sorry. Almost 11...Wait. She'll be 11 months old this 6 Nov (whenever that is).

And yeah, I also forget how to write. It took me a while to remember how to construct nice sentences. Ah you can see it already. haha. And I keep on asking 'what's the word.... how to say this' a few times.

And I think too much of whether or not I should keep this thing 'alive' again. What should I write about? Would it be too personal? Would it be too open? But then. I stop thinking and just go for it. We see how it goes and it doesn't matter anymore what I want to share. In the end, let just make myself happy (read: syok sendiri). And maybe see you again next couple of years from now. Haha! 

Till then,
May we always in good hands.

Oh. Let me show you our not so latest photo! 
Bye 
Istanbul, 2015


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Tuesday, March 26, 2013

A dedication to all mothers in the world :)

Maryam Saraa's Aqiqah goodies tags.
"We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth" (46:15).

Everyone knows that a mother is the pillar of a family. She's everything to her family. You see, when we say everything, that includes being a mom, a friend, a doctor, a teacher, a chef, a housekeeper... Best description - a runner.

Being one person in many positions? Oh that's terrific! And don't forget to sum up all the wifey job! (^__^)

How many of us moms have to wake up early in the morning and don't even have time to have a nice proper breakfast because we have loads of things to settle in a very stiff hours? -bathe the kids,  prepare breakfast, hubby, prepare to work, send kids to nursery/school... yada yada yada...

How many of us sometimes can't even grab a single glass of drink when kids throw tantrums, fighting, or got hyperventilated/sugar rush etc?

And how many of us, sometimes crying quietly somewhere in the kitchen while preparing something because we are too tired or hurt, or maybe crying out loud alone in the car because we got frustrated with the kids behavior, asking ourselves what have we done wrong? Which parenting part did we relinquish? And then, reminiscing the good old days when the kids were smaller, on how beautiful they were as a small creature, and how we had showered them our undeniable, unquestionable love. Thus, hoping for something impossible like how we wish our growing teenagers to act less complicated just like when they were smaller.

Or maybe crying while having a shower, contemplating ourselves, hoping that one can understand how tired we are, how weak, hopeless kind of mom, and getting frustrated of our inability to stay stronger.

Alas, mothers, you are indeed not alone. If you think your inner voice is unheard, your loved ones aren't really care about how you feel and you sometimes behaving a wee bit emotional, just take a deep breath, take some moment to be alone and keep your head. Coz that's just part and parcel of motherhood. Other moms face the same thing too. Yes, we moms understand each other better. And we know that those sappy feelings are uninvited yet free to come but won't take long to leave.

Being a mother is like taking a full time job that doesn't allow you to resign. It is a restless, exhausting job with loads of responsibilities. Your working hour is from the moment you open your eyes until when you close them back to sleep. That doesn't include working extra hours pass your sleeping time due to fever bugs in the house, or finding solution for some family dilemma or for any other reasons only you know. 

Behold, 
For every difficulty a mother has to endure, every challenge that may seems so hard to tackle and every big responsibility she has to carry, being a mother is one of the most dignified profession in this world and in the hereafter. And it is surprisingly the coolest position you may have experienced. Despite all the unwieldiness, the never ending demand from the loved ones, and the craziness one could turn out to be when she becomes a mother (hehe), there are myriad pleasure you'd grasp throughout your motherhood experiences. And no matter how hard life would be, you'd stand tall and survive. You know why? Because you let yourself Redha with the sacrifices you've made and You lay your love on everything you do. You mothers, are indeed so super special and super strong!  

And if at any moment you feel unappreciated, alone, disgrace, exhausted.... Remember that as long as you Redha and Ikhlas, this is one of the many ways that can grant you Jannah!

It's a free ticket for us moms to enter Jannah!

And just to revitalize our spirit, sort of emboldening our motherhood vibes, lets remind ourself about the greatest reward that every heart's desires; THE JANNAH. 

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet, said, "Allah said, 'I have prepared for My pious worshipers such things as no eye has ever seen, no ear has ever heard of, and nobody has ever thought of. All that is reserved, besides which, all that you have seen, is nothing." Then he recited:-- 'No soul knows what is kept hidden (in reserve) for them of joy as a reward for what they used to do.' (32.17) (Book #60, Hadith #303 of Sahih Bukhari) 

*Now, imagine the best thing we'd ever want in this world, the best place we've ever been/imagine, the happiest moment you've ever had in your memory..... Jannah offers you so much more and it's beyond comparison.
These two ahli syurga are my syurga dunia.
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Friday, March 22, 2013

Aaron Houdd's post 3rd birthday entry

Right after born - 22/2/10
Assalamu'alaikum.
Dear Aaron Houdd,

The time I'm writing this, you are 37 months old - A son, grandson and an abang.

Looking at you now - a handsome, charming little boy, nothing more I could say than Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah. Having you and Saraa is the best gift Allah has ever grant me.

Three years have passed so fast! I still remember your croaky voice right after you were born- the voice that had knocked my motherhood intuition ever since. I remember Doc Safiah (your Paed) greeted you cheerfully with Assalamualaikum. I remember the doctors and nurses in the OT exclaimed "what a fair skin he has! so fair! and cuteeee!". Everyone in the OT shared the excitement of your birth. And I was indeed the happiest person in the entire world!

You were so fragile back then. Everything about you was cute. From your coos, your smiles, cries- to your act - how you chewed your food, scrunched your nose, made your hair messy, just every single thing about you was cute. But now, cuteness alone isn't enough to describe you! many many times, there are something else in between. It's always mixture of cuteness and cheekiness, cuteness and naughtiness and what else? Uh, every other mom will surely understand what I mean :). That new perspective of cuteness can easily drive me nuts! 

You know, when you were smaller, I used to think that my motherhood experience would be less challenging once you reach toddler-hood. You can eat healthy adult food and walk by yourself, you can speak so we could understand you better and know exactly how you feel, and you can even settle your 'business' by yourself. 

Oh, what a silly me for having that thought!

There's always more and more challenges once you are a mother. 

You can walk by yourself. Not just that... most of the time YOU choose the direction. Hence, shopping simple groceries could take hours. 

You can speak, hence, there's always answers and justifications of your act. When you get cranky, you don't speak because speaking isn't powerful enough. You have better idea. You s.c.r.e.a.m! 

You can eat any healthy food but you also know how to refuse food. So you choose to drink milk all day.

Yes you can settle your business by yourself, of course you can. But you chose to end your 60% of successful potty training in a week by peepee everywhere and groaned "I'm so tired I've to go to toilet so many times. I wanna wear diaper again". And A big exclaimed of "Yeayy, I'm wearing diaper again!" like you just won a lottery officially had ended the potty training mission.

I can't lie that sometimes I can't handle this motherhood thingy. There are times I feel like a failure, the biggest loser of the entire motherhood world. Nope. Not because you're a nuisance. You just being a kid and it's perfectly normal. It just me, learning to be a good mother to you. Yeah sometimes it's not easy. But there's no way I can give up on you. Not even in a split second that I lose love upon you despite how hard the situation may be. Indeed, you made me realize that patience is an essence in motherhood, and love makes everything a perfect sense... Your pure love keeps me sane and alive.

Dear Aaron Houdd,
You may outgrow my lap, but you'd never outgrow my heart. (a modified unknown quote. hehe)

And I pray to Allah to always guide you and grant you His mercy.

Around 20 months old!
Few months before he turns 3!
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Friday, March 1, 2013

A note from The Sultan Qaboos's country

It's been 9 days we are here - away from our beloved country, family and friends.

And here's what I really want to tell:

Following my hubby abroad, giving him chance to groom his career while I, a master student, have to sacrifice on my dream career- being a full time housewife, taking care of the kids and hubby, writing thesis, doing chores, repeating routines, giving in my social life - friends, fav places to hang out, etc... is one very tough decision to make.

and above all, it may seem so unfair. 

But here's the deal. Long distant relationship is full of crap, at least for us. Yeah we never like it and as far as we know, nothing else would content a happily married couple than being together. Together in hardships, sorrow, pain, struggles in life, and also in happiness, joy, laughter. 

An eleven months LDR experience has taught me a lot. It has changed some part of me and my perceptions too. Going down the lane on how I had to struggle being a single mom to my kids was a heartbreaking for both of us. Never will I forget the moment where I had to carry a 14 kg toddler with  high fever to the hospital at 11pm while I was carrying another human being inside me. Waiting in the A&E with few visits to toilet due to morning sickness. Not to forget the moment I had to drive to UM by myself to complete my labworks, each time was so challenging also due to pregnancy symptoms mainly nausea. How was I going to vomit in the forever congested traffic at Federal Highway, and I remember one time I almost got cramped leg while I was stuck in a bad traffic. Not to mention the frustrations of couldn't share the bad news to my most trusted person right after receiving it, never mind to have my head on his shoulders.

And there were my counting days- a few minor surges and false alarm without my hubby by my side. Fighting over the possibility of hubby might not come back during delivery through phone calls, having postpartum complication and again, hubby wasn't around. And more sick kids- both Aaron and Saraa, all without the Daddy, the one we always need to be around.

Even if all those tests didn't appear, the need of a best friend when we were in despair, the touch of  the loved one when we were in pain and the giggles and the face that had budding loneliness when he's not around was killing enough. 

And for me, that is not all. One thing that worried me was the feeling of 'It's OK' that grew bigger day by day. You know, when we used to do things on our own and we deliberately getting used to it, and we think we can handle things all by ourselves. Hah, sometimes it freaked me out cause I sometimes had to ask myself whether or not I still love my hubby. Well of course the answer is yes, but you know, because we rarely do things together anymore, I sometimes didn't seem to bother if he didn't call me even once for the day. Lagi2 lah he was busy and different time zone also contribute to the limitations. I sensed this mostly during our last period of LDR few months before I followed him here. Wouldn't a wife supposed to wait for her hubby's call and if there was, she should be so happy to pick up the call? No? I was the opposite. If I had fast asleep I won't bother a call from him although that considered our first chat of the day. And sometimes during the conversation I can multi task with instagramming, Facebooking, or anything else depending on the time. Wasn't 100% focusing on him. So yes, I didn't like that. I was seen as a bad wife.  

Moving here, I'd left many unsettled things but bring them along to inshaAllah, settle them from here, step by step. Capitulate on my dream career and struggle to finish my responsibility as a student , Only Allah knows how am I going to survive here, what way suits me best, and which direction I will eventually choose. I may have to undergo many obstacles, failures, frustrations, and discouragement regardless of how mature the decision we'd made. But in the end, I know whatever it is, this is my destiny.

So now, we are back together again. I pray to Allah that we won't have to face the same test again, inshaAllah. Being together doesn't mean end of story and everything will go smooth. Our life here has just begun, so that means more upcoming challenges, more tests and more surprises. But as long as we are together, I hope we can handle life as we supposed to do, the best we can.

Thank you for your never ending thoughts, du'a and encouragements. Only Allah can repay all your good deeds.

Maryam Saraa 3months old in this photo. Amik dari instagram je malas nk upload lain.hehe

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Monday, January 7, 2013

News

Assalamualaikum

My first entry in this new year. Hmmm let see... No story about my last year's achievements, no post about this year azam. Nope.

I always have the angan angan to change my blog template. Im having this dream since forever already coz I think this template doesnt reflect my blog anymore. and myself too... tapi malas nak buat.
(entah hapa2 tiba2 cakap pasal blog template)

OK OK. now. Dear friends, I am here to announce that I am currently happily counting my days to step my feet into our home in Oman, real soon! Weehooo... sape tak suke wei dapat reunite dengan hubby terchinta! dengar cerita dia kat sana ramai peminat. dari minah arabs yang cun melecun lagi (dengar cerita dari dia seorang aje. haha) 

Soon mean, soon! like approximately a month from now. Yes! 

It has been almost a year we're being apart. and its not fun at all. I dah a few times kena ngorat kat Mall padahal bawak baby and jugak pernah kena approach ngan sales person from CIMB pasal kredit kad and dia tanya encik abg mana ? when I jawab "takde" his expression was like "Oh. Im sorry to hear that" - hmmm... so korang paham2 kan apa maksudnya? bukan maksudnya I masih hawt. (hehe) tapi maksudnya macam I ni 'single mom'. (yes i am a single mom but in different interpretation OK)

Actually ada banyak benda yang I tak settle lagi kat Malaysia ni. Plan memang dah banyakkkkk sangat lari. Sampai I pon dah malas nak planning lagi but just follow my gut. inshaAllah kat mana2 pon challenges tetap ada tapi  I think you would never resist the feeling of comfort when hubby is around. I guess all the LDR friends would agree with this. tak kisah macam mana kuat kita sekalipun, or macam mana dah terbiasa kita sekalipon kita nak handle daily routine, tapi kalau hubby is around, it is extraordinary!

So now I tengah busy settle pasal shipment. I have only like 2 weeks untuk list down n settle everything yang nak bawak ke Oman, kargo tentatively will arrive on 26th Jan. Banyak giler kot nak kemas tapi I tak start apa lagi. Haha.

Pastu nak buat Aqiqah Maryam Saraa and farewell inshaAllah. So ni pon nak kena proper plan sebab tak buat kat rumah, Plan nak buat kat Masjid Negeri kalau place masih available untuk tarikh yg kita plan tu. Since hubby is far away, so I am the lady in charge la untuk 2 major events ni (shipment and kenduri). Oh family kitorang amat ramai. so nak buat kecik2 pon kena bajet untuk ramai. hadoyai...

My thesis writing? Ahhhh... last time target nk pergi Oman dengan hati yg rileks selepas settle semuanya. Tapi dah malas dah nak target. Awal Dec I was so excited for the new change of plan made by my sv, hujung bulan dec pulak down balik sebab so happen berlaku lg 1 berita yg kurang best yg menyebabkan I still cannot lepas dari lingkungan kegelapan masalah I ni. So now, decided to continue anything yg berbaki di sana. I know would be moreee challenging sebab I'd b all by myself utk take care of kids and do all the chores, macamner ntah nk maintain energy utk writing. (I had experienced being a full time mom with heavy beban of thesis back in Dubai so I boleh rasa aura penat nya nanti)

Anything else?
eRM... Aaron Houdd is being Aaron. still the same. banyakkkkk idea dia nak menjawab kalau kita cakap. last time dia boleh cakap Ummi dia macam Pingu kalau marah. Noppp nooppp... aduh.

Maryam Saraa. Now dah 2months lebih. almost three. cepat je masa berlalu. Dia tengah demam ni. I pon tengah sakit kepala and terkehel urat tangan kiri. quite challenging as I am a lefthander. (-__-)


Oh now I am so into Instagram. Haha. ketinggalan zaman kan. terok tol. alah, I started FB pon after my moms and niece and nephew yang bawah umur pon dah ada FB. apa nk heran. but yeah...quite addicted with IG la sekarang. bahaya bahaya...

My style now is I update my IG and share selected photos on FB. Tak bukak FB pon. so nampak mcm I sgt update semua. Haha. untungla banyak masa ye tak...(tertipuuu)

Tp I perasan bila hubby takde ni I kerap jugak la on FB n Ig. sbb semua kan mobile. so tak payah spend masa banyak2. u can just log in and check out any update every now and then. I akan like and komen simple2 kalau ada masa. alah Like bukan amik masa bnyk pon. I realize I banyak dapat update berita terikini thru FB. and dapat byk motivational quotes from FB jugak. so its my feed lah kan. its all about how u strategies everything. Tapi memang akn ada satu2 masa i tak hambik kesah lgsg psl semua. especially bila time memang i tak boleh nk ngelat langsung my duty. (tu menunjukkan I selalu mengelat untuk buka FB dan lain2. apa punya Ummi la, teruk betol.haha). and when hubby is around. Im all his. cececeh.

untunglaaa orang yg ada hubby dekat2. org mcm I ni mengharap ehsan viber and whatssap and any free app je utk berhubung pjg2. tu pon sehari 2 kali. 1 masa hubs bangun pagi before dia goes to work (dapat la dalam 10 min kalau anak tak meragam), 1 lagi malam after dia balik kerja, which kalau dia balik lewat (selalu nya lah) kat Malaysia dah lewat malam sometimes I dah tertido masa tidorkan anak. and I akan terjaga pagi2 buta utk uruskan apa2 time tu dia pulak baru tido and i kesian nk kejut... so kalau dapat cakap ngn hubby dalam 30 min tu dah kira weehooo sangat dah. time dia kerja mmg I tak suka kacau ever since awal kawin lg. Dia tak suka. so korang. sila bersyukur bila hubs around. jangan asyik kerek ngn hubs uolss aje ye (dedikasi utk diri sndr yg suke carik pasal bila hubby balik yang tak selalu balik. nak ngegada la kunun.heee)

Erm... ok la tu je. Wassalam. 
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Thursday, December 6, 2012

Mood merapu sikit

Hi there,
How are you? how's ur Imaan? Hope everything is good.

I have promised myself to share about my birth experience. But I think it just not the time yet. I assume I may take 2-3 posts merely about that precious moments, starting from pre-labor, in labor and post-labor. See, so lot of things to say and share, hence, considering my fluctuate mood swing (dah fluctuate, swing lagi. hee) I'm having right now, I just don't get the mood to go into that, not just yet. inshaAllah soon :) Well, it may not be that important to u girls but the experience has given me a platinum of lessons so it will be very sad if I don't record it in my blog and let the blazing sensation of the feeling slip away slowly.

Today, as I am starting very-very-very slowly on my thesis writing, trying to get into the right atmosphere and focus on the right thing, I guess all I can say is...Well, it's kinda good head-start for a mom who has to read tonnes of articles and catching up the lost idea concurrently, plus has to play with my brilliant little baby who knows exactly how and when to catch her mom's attention... Haha. Tell you what, As I started  reading a few paragraphs (only), I'd to pause myself for a while right away, searching for the familiarity of the words my eyes had captured, before I can continue to the next paragraphs. Oh there are times where I'd to re-read the same paragraphs a few times to understand what on earth I was reading. Urghhh... My brain is getting incompetent and apparently I'm getting older. Huhu...

Speaking of old... Hmmm... this word has brought me to suddenly visit my blog. This very meaningful word.

We grow older day by day
And now, 2012 is near to the end...

I suddenly feel very sad... Coz I see no achievement in myself.
In terms of spiritual ability and awareness - none. I think I am a shameful useless servant (literal translation as a human being. u know what i mean? no fancy words, just go literal)

Da'wah activity - nope. very little as compared to what I could do coz I am a healthy muslim. no excuse.

As a wife? U can ask my hubby how terrible I am as a wife ( OK. don't ask him. He won't tell the truth. hehe)

As a mom? Hahaha.... I think I am far from being a good mom. Aaron Houdd... that boy, a lot of things need to settle with him. Maryam Saraa... too early to tell, but if I can compare, I was much better in handling Aaron Houdd when he was in Saraa's age. 

career achievement - funny enough if I can translate it into a graph, it actually slunting downwards...Urgh. So sadly sad. heee...
money? Oh I am a jobless person so I definitely am no a rich lady.

Suddenly feels like a loser T_T

Hey, Can I say that having kids (precisely a new one this year) as an achievement? Coz other than that.... I don't think I have any....

OK. get back to what I should do right now.... c ya later.



Currently listening to this boy. Hmmm.... this is something I need to improve too... My heart. I need to fix it. times flies, but why on earth I still can't fix thing as it should be? I am a mom... but still. sometimes.... very into music. Haha... ada hati nak anak hafal Quran tp mak curik2 dengar lagu2 lagha belakang anak.

btw: love this song so much.


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Thursday, November 22, 2012

An Ummi of 2 lil munchkins

Photo: Beautiful foot of my kiddos; Maryam Saraa (1m+) n Aaron Houdd (2y+). Daddy miss you both.....
Houdd's & Saraa's
2.15am : Saraa bangun mintak susu.  In d middle of susukan Maryam Saraa, Aaron Houdd bangun mengadu 'itchy2'. Mintak tolong garu kaki n badan dia yg gatal2....

Sambil susukan Maryam Saraa sambil tolong Aaron Houdd... Maryam Saraa habis susu. Try burp kan tp dia xnak. Letak Saraa and layankan si abang sebab kalau Aaron dh segar nanti lagi susah nk tidorkan semula... Tup tup si adik muntah. Cepat2 angkat. Salinkan baju. Si abang masih merengek mintak di layan. Kesian jugak pada si abang. Last2 dia membawa diri mencari Lola sebab nk susu n kakinya gatal kena gigit sekpr nyamuk sesat...

Si adik pulak... Baru lepas salin diaper n baju, proppp poppp poppp... Poopoo la pulak! Usai menguruskan Saraa, si kecik ni mintak susu semula... Mungkin sebab dah dimuntahkan semuanya tadi. Tengah menyusukan si adik, si abang darang nk tidur dengan Umminya. Terpaksalah Ummi yang masih terkial2 belajar menjadi ibu kepada 2 anak ni bermulti tasking...

 Kesudahannya, Alhamdulillah dua beradik ni berjaya ditidurkan semla. Jam 4.17am semuanya selesai... Tinggallah si Ummi yg terkebil2 mata dh xboleh nk lelap tapi badan dh amat letih. Dah mcm zombie rasanya... Dapatlah melayan Daddy pulak yg berada beribu batu jauhnya dgn perbezaan 4 jam waktu antara kami.

Mula menyedari: Dua beradik ni sering meminta perhatian pada waktu yg serentak. Tak kira waktu tak kira tempat... (tu belom termasuk Daddynya yg pandai carik masa nak call, time anak2 meragam time tu lah phone berbunyi.hihi)

PS: Kalaulah masa yg berbaki ni dimanfaatkan dgn tahajud dan taubat alangkah indahya. Cantiknya Iman. Pesan suami 'xlarat solat xapa. Zikir pon dah baik sangat'. Allahu Rabbi...Sementara menguruskan anak2, sentiasa ada ruang untuk berzikir denan hati mahupun lisan kan?

PSs: Sungguh menghormati dan kagum dengan para ibu lagi2 yg punya anak ramai, ibu tunggal dan sebagainya....Sungguh masih banyak lg yg perlu diri ini pelajari dan perbaiki. Perkara sebegini sebenarnya menjadi rutin harian biasa bagi kebanyakan ibu2 yang mempunyai anak lebih dari 1. Saja dicoretkan pengalaman baru ini buat kenang-kenangan di masa akan datang.

PSss: Masih mencari rhythm meneruskan komitmen selain anak2... Menguruskan anak2, sungguhpon mencabar tp mendamaikan hati... Tp komitmen yg satu ini, kalau dibiarkan sepi semakin hilang semangat utk meneruskannya... Xhabis pk mcm mana nak menyelesaikan masalah x sekepala 2 boss, belom lagi melibatkan krisis skill menulis yg menumpul dan idea2 yg semakin menjauh... Ya Allah permudahkanlah....



Peace Be Upon You (",)

Peace Be Upon You (",)

Tribute to all mothers in the world!