The sound of Aaron Houdd

Specially dedicated to Houdd's crazy aunties yang always ask me to upload more and more videos of him. As if I have nothing else to do :D

P/S: Aaron Houdd now is 22 months old, another couple of months to turn 2! 

A little rambling

I should have been sleeping by now. Our flight to Oman is just in 7 hours ahead. Instead, I'm busying myself with the laundry, some cleaning, and this :p. It's half past midnight already and my hubby is still somewhere outside there in the cold winter breeze, keeping up with his work.

Aaron Houdd is not sleeping well tonight, he keeps changing positions every now and then. It's just about 3 hrs he's been sleeping but he has woken up 3 times for breastfeeding. Oh boy.

Nothing much in this entry. Nothing beneficial out of this entry. If you happen to read this, I'm sorry for taking your precious time...

I just feel a wee bit sappy yet very ecstatic with our trip tomorrow. Something big is gonna happen very soon (next year, few more days only) and this is considered a first-small-empirical step for our future. I hope we gonna love this place, The Sultanate of Oman, another gas-rich GCC country.

Other than that, especially for our future as one blissful family, I pray to Allah to keep showers his blessing to us. We are doing great these four years, and wish more happiness to come the years ahead.

Oh... I've been thinking to change my blog template and font. I don't know, maybe to something more mature? hehe... I love this font but herm... been using this for more than a year already. No particular design in my brain yet, for sure I love originality and hope to come out with something unique and suit my personality (and my boy, of course)... My hubby will just happy with whatever outcome. He's a 'good' supporter on something less important like this - Like 'oh God, can't we just use any color or font that people can read?' :) But maybe not now. Nah, still very busy for something like this- not in the priority list. We'll see when I can spare some time for this.

OK, time's out. Better continue my packing and finish the chores before my hubby returns home. Hehe

Till then,
Night night, and sleep tight friends!

Marriage problems

Like any textbook you read about marriage, I'd like to claim that every couple has their own problems. Normally, problems occur based on environmental factors and attitudes, so each couple may undergo different major marriage problems from the other. However, one problem may intersect with another, especially if the particular problem is not solved properly….

Some couples have problems with their financial. Like mentioned in my previous entry, financial issue, if not being properly managed, can lead to marriage issue. And I’ve heard many stories (and watched many movies) showing the effect of financial problems to a marriage.

 Some couples experience intimacy problems. Either one party feels overburdened, unappreciated and unheard, or the other party has problem to manage supremacy. In depth, believe it or not, sexual intercourse is among the top that contribute to marriage problem. I’m not sure about other races, but we Malay often feel very hard to talk about sexual intercourse. It is like a taboo to disclose this issue, let alone to share problems or doubt, even for improvement purposes.

After a long journey of marriage, some people may feel tired or sick of their spouse. Everything seems overdramatic. What used to be important is no longer seems important.  On the other hand, some couples always fight over the demand of more time they should’ve spent together. Strange but truth, often the little time they have together is spent for fighting and quarrel of how much more time they need.  

Some people have problems with the in laws. Amongst all problems could arise in marriage, this one is the most wretched! How pity when marriage ought to unite people does the opposite. I’m neither pointing finger to the mother, nor to the child (often happen to daughter) in law. I just feel so sad at this kind of situation because it involves many parties, not just the husband and wife, thus makes this problem more complicated than the other, and may be the hardest to solve. I really hope we are exempted from this kind of situation.

Some may have problems with their distance. It’s a norm nowadays that young married couples practice long distant relationship (LDR), and the most well known reason is because of career.  Some people that I know object to this kind of relationship for whatever reason may be, you know, like they say, what’s the point of marriage if you can’t be together? My hubby dislike this kind of impractical relationship (according to him), because of many factual reasons, but I think the most underlying reason is that he can’t bear to be apart from me, but so sad we will be among those couples who have to deal with LDR for the next few months.

I was once really against this long-distant relationship because it’s very hard to maintain a good relationship in such a way. Lack of intimacy, lack of information and connection, lack of communication, lack of sharing… All can pilot too many misunderstandings. And misunderstanding is no good in marriage. (Bear in mind, this is about marriage, not pre-marriage relationship)

But truth is, distant is not the main problem. What’s the point of having someone in front of you but is not really with you? What’s the point of existence if it’s merely physical? Now, I’m getting to understand how some people can bear long distant relationship… (Still will be my last resort).

For whatever reason of the problems, there must be solutions. It is just the matter of how we’re gonna find for the solutions, as a team, for the sake of the marriage itself.

I am not a marriage expert, as I myself experience many problems through our marriage journey.  I have to admit our marriage problems mostly involve our time as a family. As many of my friends can enjoy daily routine with their spouse, we’re lack in this…

But one thing I am sure, communication is very important. Without good communication, no matter how close you are with each other, problems can’t be solved properly. The indication may vary to each couple. You may fight the whole night, wailing like crazy, or maybe sit together for hours, whichever suit you, but the whole objective is to make sure everybody is being heard, respected and at the end, the problems can be solved. If you still have barrier, maybe a kind of hidden shield that avoid you from being vocal, there’s always other options. You can write letter, email, sms, or maybe leave a voice mail? Anything, as long as you create a healthy communication out of it. Avoiding problems isn’t a good choice, and it could even make thing worse for the long run.

I’ve learnt a lot about marriage and family my entire life. I’ve seen various cases. The best conclusion I could make is, if there’s will, there’s way. You may face the oddest kind of problem in your marriage but hey, it’s your marriage, so it’s up to you whether or not you want to make it work.

And always be thankful for what we have. Muhasabah is the best thing we should do, so that we know what to improve and to remove. We can be the reflection to each other, reminding each other to be a better person…  Yes if you’re married, you knew that we can expect repetition of quarrels. Perhaps the exact same things will reappear for the next ten years. But take it positively. We feel exhausted and annoyed, but maybe that could be our reminders to stay being good. Otherwise, that is our identity of who we really are as a couple!  :P

Oh I read this one article in SuhaibWebb regarding problem in marriage due to distance. Heh heh... This website has column for relationship, and it's very amazing. Please click here to go to the story. 


*the broken egg was taken from here 

* the secret jar was taken from here

Merancang kehamilan, cara mana?

Tajuk kali ini adalah tentang MERANCANG KEHAMILAN...

Tajuk ni dah berkurun lama I draft dalam otak. Konon nak mencari mood sesuai tapi biasalah mood selalu tak datang and I bukanlah seorang yang sangat kuat daya ingatan so akhirnya I buat la mood sendiri untuk discuss topik ni...

So, pasal apa dengan MERANCANG KEHAMILAN ni?

Nak dijadikan cerita, during my last check up with my gynea almost 2 years ago, Dr. just check my incision site, my uterus condition and my general health condition je. And I ingat 2 perkara yang Dr cakap 1) My incision site cantik and dah boleh pakai bikini pun 2) My uterus and health condition pun dah ok and kalau nak preggy lagi right away pun dah takde masalah... (What? right away?!)

And di dalam meeting tu sebenarnya Dr discuss pasal family planning. Dr terangkan tentang cara2 untuk merancang kehamilan. Ada a few cara termasuklah IUD, diaphragm, vasectomy, implant, condoms and withdrawal.

Basically, ramai pasangan menggunakan cara withdrawal untuk mencegah kehamilan. Withdrawal ni cara mudahnya is melakukan ejaculation di luar vagina. Cara ni paling zero cost. Tapi dalam masa yang sama it is very risky and less effective. Accodring to my gynea, pre-ejaculation juga mengandungi sperma yang cukup banyak untuk menyebabkan kehamilan. Kalau biasa dengar kes orang cakap dia buat 'family planning' but tiba2 si isteri pregnant and mereka cakap 'accident', mostly sebab mereka menggunakan cara ini.... So kesimpulannya, kalau rasa memang tak nak pregnant lagi and perlu menjarakkan kandungan, janganlah guna cara ini.... 

Kalau kondom pulak, lebih kurang 78% sahaja effectiveness of using condom as birth control. Sebab, kita tak boleh sure 100% yang each and every condom yang digunakan adalah tidak rosak. And kebanyakan pasangan juga tidak berapa menyukai penggunaan kondom. 

Mengikut suggestion Dr, kalau muda lagi, better tak payah ber IUD and Diaphragm bagai. Yela, kan ada plan nak baby lagi kan. Benda alah tu semua mahal dan sakit dan biasanya untuk orang yang memang takmo baby dah. Kalau macam implant tu pula boleh mengundang problem kepada produksi susu. Siapa2 yang masih menyusukan baby tak digalakkan buat implant, takut susu tak keluar. Tapi ia bergantung juga kepada individu.. So cara paling effective dan senang untuk orang muda yang nak TEMPORARY planning sahaja adalah dengan mengambil BIRTH CONTROL PILL.

Cara ni mudah sebab bila kita nak planning ambil je pil tu, and bila rasa dah sesuai untuk pregnant lagi just stop taking the pill. Cumanya yang susah adalah untuk orang yang tak reti disiplin macam I sebab pil ni kena diambil hari2 pada waktu yang konsisten! 

And birth control pills ada berjenis2. But for a breastfeeding mom, pill yang selamat digunakan dan tidak mengganggu production susu dan nutrisi baby is  NORIDAY. And ia boleh didapat di pharmasi2 berdekatan rumah anda....

Bila orang tanya I, I akan jawab dengan jujur yang yes, I was taking the pill. Kebanyakan muka yang respon memang agak mengerikan as in taking pill is not safe and cause many side effects. Antara side effect yang famous adalah nanti jadi gemuks and lepas stop pill takut terus mandol (ayat mudah paham la tu ekk). In fact, sometimes seriously cara dorang respon as in I buat salah besar.

Actually pill zaman sekarang ni kebanyakannya safe from those side effects. Biasalah setiap benda yang artificial mengundang side effects. So does this pill. Antara side effectnya adalah peod yang tak teratur (untuk Noriday but for some other pills like Jasmine, the menstrual cycle is fine), sometimes boleh dizzy, and it is stated that some pills can increase the risk of breast cancer. But the risk is only there during the time we consume the pill. Bila kita stop ambil ubat tu, there's no more risk of getting breast cancer. And juga boleh mempercepatkan kadar stress... Yela, pill2 ni semua berkaitan hormon kan. Maka ianya bergantung kepada individu juga on how our body tolerate with the medication.

Tapi ada juga beneficial effects from the pill. Antaranya adalah mengurangkan risiko vaginal infection (sebab mucus akan jadi agak pekat kalau ambil pill so kurang infection), kurang risiko cervical cancer and kurang risiko pregnant la apa lagi. Hehehe...

Apa2 pun, before taking any medicine, kita kena tau adakah kita mempunyai penyakit lain atau alahan atau makan ubat lain yang boleh contra indicate dengan pill ni. Tu yang penting sebenarnya. Sebab I think kalau kita normal sihat, inshaAllah takde apa... So silalah mendapatkan konsultasi daripada doktor2 bertauliah untuk menentukan cara mana yang sesuai dan pill apa yg terbaik utk kita (sekiranya mengambil pil).

As for me, pengalaman mengambil pil ni selama dekat setahun jugak la, I takde apa2 masalah kegemukan (OK, klu I gemuk pn sebab I yang suka teman hasben makan malam2 pastu terus tidur and malas excersice, so jangan nak salahkan pill). I jugak tak mengalamai stress yang melampau sampai kena jumpa psikatrist. I jugak masih menyusukan budak kecik-besar tu sampai sekarang. Cuma yes, my menstrual cycle agak problem...

Kesimpulannya, semuanya masih di dalam kawalan... Alhamdulillah.

Tujuan I cerita tentang benda alah ni semua bukanlah nak promote family planing or any birth control pill. I cuma rasa yang masyarakat sekarang masih skeptik terhadap pengambilan pil atau alatan lain bagi merancang kehamilan. Kebanyakan orang masih rasa benda ni is like cerita dalam kain yang very personal and hanya hasben and wife je boleh share. Sebab survey mengatakan bahawa masyarakat kita masih segan silu untuk bertanya tentang hal2 begini, dan masih takut untuk mencuba cara yang lebih advance daripada natural way (withdrawal). Tapi dalam masa yang sama, perkara ni sepatutnya bukanlah perkara asing di dalam zaman modern sekarang ni sebab masalah rumah tangga, masalah sosial dan banyak masalah lain berhubung kait dengan isu2 macamni... Apatah lagi, jika anak yang kita pregnant kan tu dikatakan sebagai 'anak accident'.... Kan tak molek tu.

Wallahua'lam...

Doa seorang ibu

Sebelum I buka lembaran thesis yang memeningkan kepala, I'd like to spend approx. 5 min to share one thing yang sebenarnya dah amat femes di kalangan kita: Kata-kata seorang ibu adalah sebuah doa.

Dari kecil, kita orang Islam memang sinonim dengan adab terhadap orang tua. Kita dah biasa dengar yang anak kena respect parents, no matter how. Satu ayat yang popular kita dengar adalah ayat dari surah Al-Isra' ayat 23 yang bermaksud:

"Dan tuhanmu telah perintahkan, supaya engkau tidak menyembah melainkan kepadaNya semata-mata, dan hendaklah engkau berbuat baik kepada ibu bapa. Jika salah seorang dari keduanya, atau kedua-duanya sekali, sampai kepada umur tua dalam jagaan dan peliharaanmu, maka janganlah engkau berkata kepada mereka (sebarang perkataan kasar) sekalipun perkataan "Uf", dan janganlah engkau menengking menyergah mereka, tetapi katakanlah kepada mereka perkataan yang mulia (yang bersopan-santun)"

Itu adalah tuntutan dan tanggungjawab seorang anak terhadap ibu bapanya.

Tapi perlu kita ingat, pendidikan awal datang dari rumah, di bentuk oleh ibu bapa itu sendiri. Sebagai ibu bapa, kita pasti berharap yang anak-anak akan sayang dan hormat pada kita. Tapi semua itu harus dimulakan oleh ibu bapa itu sendiri. Ibu bapa yang perlu mengajar anak bagaimana caranya untuk berkomunikasi dengan baik dan saling hormat menghormati.

Sebagai contoh, kalau kita tak mahu anak menengking kita, maka janganlah amalkan tabiat tengking menengking di dalam rumah. Apatah lagi menggunakan kata-kata kasar dan tak sesuai di dengar. Amat malu sekiranya seorang ibu/bapa itu sendiri yang mendedahkan kepada anak perkataan2 yang tak sedap di dengar dek telinga.

Apatah lagi, kata-kata seorang ibu/bapa itu adalah satu doa.

Dari Abu Hurairah beliau berkata, bersabda Nabi Muhammad Shalallahu `alaihi wassalam, “Ada tiga doa yang tidak diragukan lagi akan dikabulkan, yaitu doa orang yang terzalimi, doa orang yang sedang safar (bepergian), dan doa orang tua terhadap anaknya.” (Ash Shahihah 596, hasan)

Ibu bapa hendaklah bijak memilih kata-kata yang baik, sekalipun dalam keadaan marah atau gurauan. Selain daripada doa, kata-kata yang datang dari ibu bapa memberi kesan yang besar di dalam hidup anak2. Cuba bandingkan jika kawan kita cakap "Kau ni bodoh" dengan jika ibu sendiri yang cakap. Mana yang lebih memberi kesan psikologi?

Menjadi trend sesetengah orang muda, suka menggunakan bahasa yang so-called cool, yang kadang2 mendatangkan maksud yang tak baik. Begitu juga tabiat mencarut yang dirasakan tak apa. Kebanyakannya akan beranggapan mampu berubah bila dah punya anak. Tapi kita sendiri tahu yang sesebuah perkara, jika sudah menjadi tabiat, amat sukar untuk diubah....

Kebanyakan ibu bapa suka membuat kesimpulan tanpa perhitungan. Mana yang dilihat depan mata, itulah yang diambil kira. Sedangkan tak semestinya apa yang dilihat tu sama seperti yang kita sangka. Menghukum anak berdasarkan kesimpulan mudah adalah satu tabiat yang negatif di dalam parenting. Sedangkan masa kita kecil dulu pun, kita tak suka kalau kena hukum tanpa usul periksa, apatah lagi jika kita tak salah. Tapi bila dah jadi ibu/bapa, kita buat perkara yang sama kepada anak2 kita.... Ini juga boleh memberi kesan negatif terhadap anak.

Jika kita datang dari latar belakang keluarga yang saling bertukar2 kata2 kasar, maka kitalah yang kena mulakan langkah baru, supaya anak kita dan generasi seterusnya tidak meneruskan tradisi keluarga yang negatif begitu. Daripada menuding jari kepada nasib dan keadaan, lebih baik menggunakan anugerah Allah, akal, untuk menilai buruk baik sesuatu perkara....

Sebuah perkara yang amat biasa kita dengar, yang kita sudah sedia maklum, tapi kadangkala perlu ada peringatan supaya tidak dilupakan :-)

Wallahua'lam

One undeniable thing I'd learnt in parenthood is, to always improve myself in order to educate my child. 

Beza antara kentut and coklat

Say Cheese! or rather eat cheeseee!

Sorry for the improper title... tak senonoh la Ummi Aaron ni...hehe...

I'd told you that Aaron can now articulate some words...Right?  Even so, not all words he can pronounce correctly.

For instance,

He refers fart as 'kotot'
and chocolate as 'kocot' (maybe chocolate tu dah jadi terbalik ke cocholate, with easier pronunciation)

Sometimes.... we got confuse between the two :)

So when he says "Daddy kotot', we got confused whether he is telling us whether the daddy is farting or he wants chocolate - He never admit he ever has kotot. He'll accuse somebody else, normally the daddy :P

Way to go Aaron Houdd! :-)

Amateur

ni la ketua nya rupanya.... Daddy & Son...

Canggih tuuuu!

Life is short

He's a big boy now.... with rambut angry bird.

I made a phone call to my bestie last few night. No particular reason, just to have some chat. In return, I’d been told one bad news- one of my ex-schoolmate passed away because of dengue.

She used to be my classmate for 2 years. We were prefects and we used to go to meetings together. I used to be quite close to her but not that really, really close, as I didn’t really stay close to anybody during my form 4 & 5, except for my few (crazy) girls (up till now-blessed! :P)

But what makes me couldn’t forget about the news was the fact the she’d left 2 very young children. We were married the same year (but apparently many of my friends who were married at the same year or even later, have had more than one child J)… And I think their youngest child is as the same age with Aaron Houdd.

That… was the point that I couldn’t stop thinking about the news. I couldn’t sleep that night, and in fact I was whimpering on my hubby’s shoulder for quite long. He knew me so well already that he didn't even ask why I took the news so personally.

And I stayed awake almost the whole night, cuddling, kissing and studying my dear son.

I just couldn’t stop thinking…. That it could have been me. It could have been me…

I know everybody will die anyway. And death never compromise age. And I truly believe that Allah knows best, that He’s the Most Guardian, and He takes care of every living being in this universe. I guess when the time comes, we know that we don’t have choice but to leave, so perhaps… perhaps, there’s not much to think about. And so we just leave. Otherwise, the only thing we’d have in our mind on our last day is the preparation we’ve made our entire life to ‘survive’ in the afterlife. Was it enough?

But for a mother, to leave the small child behind, knowing the fact that the child still need more to learn, still need her in almost every part of his/her growing episode… Oh, that’s trembling! For the person who is still alive, and is a mother, if I ever imagine myself to leave my son behind, I just can’t tell how much it’d tear my heart apart. Maybe I am not ready yet, maybe I am so attached to this temporary world which I know I shouldn’t, but I am just an ordinary human being… And I am a mother.

A mother always put herself last when it comes to children.

  

Life is short… So take this as a wakeup call to preparing myself for ‘my time’…..

Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying:

When a man dies, his acts come to an end, but three, recurring charity, or knowledge (by which people) benefit, or a pious son, who prays for him (for the deceased).

{Book 013, Chapter 4, Number 4005 : Sahih Muslim}