Say Goodbye to our baby NO.4 (missed abortion)

 وَعَسَى أَن تَكْرَهُواْ شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ وَعَسَى أَن تُحِبُّواْ شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَّكُمْ وَاللّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنتُمْ لاَ تَعْلَمُونَ 

But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not (Al-Baqarah, 2:216)

I love this verse! Isn't it a cool quote? 

Well, this ayah is actually explaining about war and jihad. But without taking the meaning of this beautiful verse out of context, we can still take it as a general reminder in our daily life, don't you think so? 

Like when we are given 2 choices in life, but we just have to choose one, especially when we end up with the less favorable one. 

Or perhaps when we are not given any choice at all, but to just accept whatever is in front of us, whether we like it or not.

Just like what is happening to us right now, where we're being tested with grief and loss.

Inalillahi wa inna 'ilaihi roji'un...

From the LMP, I was supposed to be around 13 weeks/3+ months pregnant, which I just past my 1st trimester.

But since I am using a mobile app. called FLO, I think I might be approx. 2 weeks late from my LMP, which means I might be around 11 weeks pregnant. Subhanallah, that means, I got conceived during my infertile day, only a few days before my next cycle! "KUN FA YA KUN"

However, it is difficult to tell because according to our previous check up, my pregnancy was just about 6 weeks old (which it couldn't be. I know so.... we were in London at that time. No way. Just no way.. ha ha ha)

So we concluded that maybe, just maybe, the baby had stop growing during its 6 weeks. Only that it didn't flush itself out naturally, and my body was still supporting the pregnancy all the way (I'll explain later on this) - This is called missed abortion.

Our first maternal check up was on 27th NOV 2016. The doctor did an intervaginal scan and discovered a small empty sac in the uterus. That's all. But at least I knew I was Pregnant. 

Second check up was 2 weeks later (11th Dec). There was something like a round shape in the sac, a fetus, as verified by the O&G. According to the LMP, I was supposed to be 11 weeks pregnant, but from the scan, it was just about 6 weeks. Obviously there was growth in the sac as compared to the previous scan. But ironically, the growth wasn't proportional to the LMP by huge interval. Another problem: we couldn't detect the heart beat. 

"We just wait and see.... I am not sure what kind of pregnancy I am dealing with" - O&G.

The words that I will remember for as long as I think I would!

The next day (Mon, 12th Dec) I started to bleed in my pants. At first I thought it was an after effect of the intervaginal scan. The next day (Tue, 13/12), I was still bleeding. Lesser, but then a brownish discharge took over. I was terrified but Anuar was going back to Malaysia that night. He wanted to cancel the trip but of course I said DON'T... 

I thought the bleeding would stop. I was wrong. 

I continue to 'bleed', but this time just a brownish discharge. I was contemplating whether or not to make any appoinment. I seek consult from a few doctor friends. Since it was a brownish discharge, they said don't worry too much, have rest! just please have rest! bed rest if I can! and please go to the hospital and get myself checked if there's anything that concerns me.

Unfortunately, I started to bleed fresh blood on the 17th night. On the 18th, I tried to make an appoinment with my O&G, but she's full. I ended up with another O&G on Tue (20 th), though I'd had my next appoinment with my O&G on the 22 (Thu). 

Anuar arrived on Tue morning (2 am). We went to my O&G clinic at around 11.40 am and got to see her at 2pm, walked-in. She was full that day and she was a bit upset with us because she had to catch up with a LCS case at 2! (I cancelled the other O&G due to some reasons, but mainly because I had a feeling that something was not right, so it'd be easier to refer to the one who already know your history)...

And that was when we confirmed that the baby was gone, like officially gone. 

I was bleeding fresh blood, the fetus got no heart beat (Still) and the round shape in the sac was shrinking.

The next day (21/12/2016) I was admitted to the hospital and was ordered to do D&C.... How did I feel? Like my post in my IG.

Yes. I learnt that losing a baby, even when your are a mother of 3, is still losing a baby. And a missed abortion is still a loss. and the feeling is still.....

D&C was a whole new experience to me. I went to the OT, got myself an LA (spinal anaesthetic), had to lay on bed for the next 8 hours post-surgery, fasting, peed in my bed (because they didn't put a catheter on me!) and yeah... 

It was hurt. I was hurt, physically and emotionally. But Alhamdulillah, I am fine. 

Now that I think about it, I've experienced the beginning of motherhood for each child in some sort of way... And what more to raise them, each of them with different characters and strategies (^_^')

-ELCS (elective c section) - Aaron; 

-An induced normal birth with the help of systemic pain relief AND post-delivery complication - Saraa;

-A normal-gentle birth (minimal medical intervention i.e, VE and AROM only, no pain relief)- Eve.

-D&C -(supposed to be) baby no. 4... with an anaesthetic that kinda react a lil slow in my body, hence, I felt an intense pain, I felt the suction, the cramp, the intense pain! 

-I had previous miscarriage with just a natural flush out also.

Subhanallah! 

And now, I am fine. Alhamdulillah. 

My uterus is taking its time to heal completely (pain is becoming lesser, womb is not swollen anymore). However, the spinal injection site is still hurt (bruising maybe), and I am suffering back pain in various places (the effect of anesthetic, plus I'd had an epidural 6 years ago, and yes, aging factor, I knowwwww). 

Two things that I'd never expect to happen 

1) you know some women will have difficulty to BO after delivery, Yes, I kind of having a hard BO (almost constipation), surprisingly, even though technically I didn't really deliver the baby. Maybe because I still had the cramp/contractions especially during the D&C process itself. 

2) I am producing milk and I got engorged - - -, hurt!!!! this is even more surprising because I thought I was just having a missed abortion! (but that also make sense cause missed abortion is a missed misscarriage - the body didn't recongnize that you are misscarriage, hence the placenta keeps on producing hormones.

Anyway, there are a lot of underlying stories I don't tell. 

-About why I didn't straight away go and see the doctor.

-About how I actually had a sense that something wasn't right due to some symptoms i.e. I had bad pregnancy symptoms mostly sickness. I got that a few days after London trip and I even made a 'scene' in Bahrain Airport (That's where I suspect I was pregnant) but I suddenly didn't feel nausea. I thought this time the pregnancy would be different... and in some way, yes, it was different.

-Why I didn't get bed-rest as suggested and why I can't afford to have confinement post-incident.

-What had happened in between the event...

But it's OK. At least. I'm writing up the most important parts. On how I want it to be remembered. 

And the most important part is, we are all fine. Alhamdulillah.

Aaron and Saraa have accepted the fact the we'd lost the baby. Saraa was crying when she knew about the news. It was hard and devastating to see her cry. The night after the surgery, she asked me where's the dead baby. She wanted to see it so badly and she cried when she knew she won't get to see the baby (maybe she imagine it like a fully developed baby)

Eve, well, she's still small to understand about loss, about death. Sometimes when we lay down side by side, she would rub my belly and say "Hi baby, Hi baby" and sometimes kiss (more to sloppy kiss) my belly. She did that even during the night before the surgery. That one last night with the baby in the belly. But I'm sure she'll be fine. 

I learned that, dealing with loss, regardless of any kind, is a great emotional trial. Alhamdulillah, I am surrounded with good friends and families.

So yeah, that's all about it. Almost all. Haha. 

I hope, this is one of the way Allah wipes my sins away. Ameen!

A note from The Sultan Qaboos's country

It's been 9 days we are here - away from our beloved country, family and friends.

And here's what I really want to tell:

Following my hubby abroad, giving him chance to groom his career while I, a master student, have to sacrifice on my dream career- being a full time housewife, taking care of the kids and hubby, writing thesis, doing chores, repeating routines, giving in my social life - friends, fav places to hang out, etc... is one very tough decision to make.

and above all, it may seem so unfair. 

But here's the deal. Long distant relationship is full of crap, at least for us. Yeah we never like it and as far as we know, nothing else would content a happily married couple than being together. Together in hardships, sorrow, pain, struggles in life, and also in happiness, joy, laughter. 

An eleven months LDR experience has taught me a lot. It has changed some part of me and my perceptions too. Going down the lane on how I had to struggle being a single mom to my kids was a heartbreaking for both of us. Never will I forget the moment where I had to carry a 14 kg toddler with  high fever to the hospital at 11pm while I was carrying another human being inside me. Waiting in the A&E with few visits to toilet due to morning sickness. Not to forget the moment I had to drive to UM by myself to complete my labworks, each time was so challenging also due to pregnancy symptoms mainly nausea. How was I going to vomit in the forever congested traffic at Federal Highway, and I remember one time I almost got cramped leg while I was stuck in a bad traffic. Not to mention the frustrations of couldn't share the bad news to my most trusted person right after receiving it, never mind to have my head on his shoulders.

And there were my counting days- a few minor surges and false alarm without my hubby by my side. Fighting over the possibility of hubby might not come back during delivery through phone calls, having postpartum complication and again, hubby wasn't around. And more sick kids- both Aaron and Saraa, all without the Daddy, the one we always need to be around.

Even if all those tests didn't appear, the need of a best friend when we were in despair, the touch of  the loved one when we were in pain and the giggles and the face that had budding loneliness when he's not around was killing enough. 

And for me, that is not all. One thing that worried me was the feeling of 'It's OK' that grew bigger day by day. You know, when we used to do things on our own and we deliberately getting used to it, and we think we can handle things all by ourselves. Hah, sometimes it freaked me out cause I sometimes had to ask myself whether or not I still love my hubby. Well of course the answer is yes, but you know, because we rarely do things together anymore, I sometimes didn't seem to bother if he didn't call me even once for the day. Lagi2 lah he was busy and different time zone also contribute to the limitations. I sensed this mostly during our last period of LDR few months before I followed him here. Wouldn't a wife supposed to wait for her hubby's call and if there was, she should be so happy to pick up the call? No? I was the opposite. If I had fast asleep I won't bother a call from him although that considered our first chat of the day. And sometimes during the conversation I can multi task with instagramming, Facebooking, or anything else depending on the time. Wasn't 100% focusing on him. So yes, I didn't like that. I was seen as a bad wife.  

Moving here, I'd left many unsettled things but bring them along to inshaAllah, settle them from here, step by step. Capitulate on my dream career and struggle to finish my responsibility as a student , Only Allah knows how am I going to survive here, what way suits me best, and which direction I will eventually choose. I may have to undergo many obstacles, failures, frustrations, and discouragement regardless of how mature the decision we'd made. But in the end, I know whatever it is, this is my destiny.

So now, we are back together again. I pray to Allah that we won't have to face the same test again, inshaAllah. Being together doesn't mean end of story and everything will go smooth. Our life here has just begun, so that means more upcoming challenges, more tests and more surprises. But as long as we are together, I hope we can handle life as we supposed to do, the best we can.

Thank you for your never ending thoughts, du'a and encouragements. Only Allah can repay all your good deeds.

Maryam Saraa 3months old in this photo. Amik dari instagram je malas nk upload lain.hehe

Tick tock tick tock... Oh my Aaron

39 weeks ++ now.
Daily routine is just as usual, plus every morning has to follow Onni and Aaron to send Tok Daddy to office (dorang takut I sorang2 kat rumah kang terbersalin susah pulak. hehhe)

Masih berkudrat untuk bermain dan meguruskan Aaron. Toddler, boy lagi. So what can u expect? Memang most of the time amat aktif, minta ummi kejar, dukung, berguling dengan dia... Tapi kalau tak larat sangat terpaksa la menolak. Menangis la dia, terutamanya kalau Ummi taknak dukung.

Every now and then goes back to Shah Alam, do laundry, chores - cleaning up kitchen, dust, mop the floor, etc etc....

Weekend. Just follow any event - wedding reception, shopping mall, etc etc....

Common teguran from the makcik in the wedding reception " Laaa, dah tunggu hari masih lagi kuat berjalan kau ye. Terberanak kang"

Kalau makcik2 tu kira kita kenal then I selalu jawab "Memang nak bagi beranak la ni. Dah nama tunggu hari" then gelak2. Hihi....

2 days more Daddy will come back. Alhamdulillah he managed to take a week leaves (Sunday to Thursday). I don't know what he has done cause from what I know, the company still maintain the pantang of no cuti in Oct... Allahuakbar!

So sweetie baby, Daddy has sacrificed so much for us, so please please please wait for Daddy OK!

Jom cerita pasal si Hero Aaron Houdd pulak. Lama rasanya tak cerita pasal Aaron...
Ermmm....

Story 1
Aaron did something which I couldnt recall what was it. Then I said:
Ummi: Clever boy! Aaron anak soleh.
Aaron: Yes, Aaron anak soleh...
then pause a few sec....
Aaron: Aaron anak Nuar, Ummi! (his daddy's name: Anuar)

Story 2
Kalau dulu orang selalu tanya Aaron (even my obgyne) whether he wants baby girl or boy, or brother or sister, he'll consistently answer sister/girl...

Lately, when people ask, he'll answer : Don't want. I want baby only! (-__-)

Story 3
Sometimes I let Aaron play with my bumpy stomach just to get him familiar with this baby thingy, and to build affection and connection between him and the baby.

I  let him play on my belly or touch it when the baby is moving. Long before that, during early pregnancy, I made the move myself and asked him to touch it and told him that the baby was moving..... I never thought that he knew it was my play until now....

Sometimes when the baby is moving, he feels it and he responds accordingly...

Then... He'll selak his baju, shows his big tummy and make it moves...just like what I used to do. And he'll say "Ummi look, got baby in my stomach! Baby's moving! like Ummi's one"

When I ask him "What's in your stomach?"
he'll say "Got baby food Ummi!"

And now, anything he thinks is big, he'll exclaim "Big like Ummi's stomach!" Herm.... is it lovely or annoying? (-___-)

Story 4
Aaron ni memang ada masalah nak gosok gigi. Dari dulu sampai sekarang. Memang tension je setiap kali nak suruh dia gosok gigi. Ada lah sekali dua je dia akan gosok gigi dengan sukarela, itu pun with tonnes of praises...

But one morning, I asked him to brush his teeth. And this is what he replied:
"It's OK Ummi, I brush my teeth like this.......with my finger"
And memang betol la dia buat macam gaya P.ramlee dalam cerita apa ntah... guna finger untuk gosok gigi. Haiyyyaaaa... Where did he get all the ideas!

Aaron's favorite phrases now:
Oh my!
Oh my God!
Oh Dear!
Ya Allahhh!- especially if he reckons something is wrong... or simply after he spilled over something.
Subhanallah!

OK. penuh dramatic sehhhh cara dia sebut....

He also likes to use these in his conversation:
I think so! - if anyone ask him something and he really not sure. Nampak muka dia yg tak sure
Otherwise
Because....
And sekarang dah start letak LAH kat belakang perkataan.... Marah betol Tok Daddy dia....hehehe

And a few other which I can't recall, of course....

Haih, a few days more and Aaron will become ABANG..... Oh I seriously can't imagine how it would be :)

MY 31 MONTH OLD TODDLER!

Priority

It's normal to feel serabut when many important things come all at once. It depends on us how we want to react with the situation. Right?

Teringat masa belajar kat sekolah/university dulu, kalau kita pergi motivasi ke apa akan ada lah motivator yang ajar kite quadrant - important, unimportant, urgent, un-urgent... haaaa... ingat tak? hehe...

Actually post kali ni is all about pregnancy.... and other stuffs.... OK. be precise. Pregnancy VS my thesis... Hehe...

Sometimes during my 36 weeks of pregnancy, I've decided to focus more on my childbirth. I know some moms would grin and think I'm a bit exaggerate about this. Just wait for the moment and let it happens as how it should be. What else to prepare?... Yes? No?

As a mom who had already given birth once, I should have not worry much, shouldn't I? But this is just me, being myself. Nak bersalin pon survey hospital bagai nak rak, nak exclusive breastfeed? I read a lottttt and asked a lot of questions too (Alhamdulillah I succeed!)... and now, whether to have a safe and successful VBAC or just rely on the typical hospital procedure in childbirth or simply get another Cesarean birth  ---> has led me to another field of research! Hahaha...

 I'd once decided to prioritize on the childbirth research finding, and hence, my thesis became comparatively my 2nd priority (just for temporary). And I was quite happy with my decision that time...  A lot of new things have been discovered, new insights on childbirth, etc etc... But a lot more to dig and digest... Hypnobirthing, breathing techniques, exercises, the best positions of birthing, the norms and myths of childbirth, whether induction/intervention/medical instruments are necessary, safe baby and safe natural birth, etc etc etc...

But something had happened last week, which has turned my life into haywire and urged my mind to think more about my thesis rather than anything else...

My master journey:

I am currently in my thesis writing mode. According to plan, I'm supposed to submit my thesis on Sept (as that's the dateline given by my co-sv). But well, the reason why this post exists, definitely because I have not yet accomplished the mission. Hehe...

A lot of unexpected things showed out along the process, which slow down the process. I was able to submit my 1st and 2nd chapter within 3-4 weeks gap only, but the result and discussion take longer than expected because of the hiccups. Sometimes I feel like quitting, other time.... Well, just put aside everything, ignore for a couple of days or even a week, and focus on anything else in life... Hah, I'm actually quite pro in doing that. Haha... Well, human... sometimes we got demotivated... right? (alasan!)

I don't want to tell u in detail about what has actually happened and what's going on in my master project (seriously it's not worth to know and yes, it has cost me quite a lot of tears - oh my tears are precious! coz I'm no a wimp).

But for some reasons, nak tak nak memang kena fikir pasal thesis ni melebihi yang lain... And it's very very very dissapointing sebab sepatutnya time macam ni dah boleh relax and just prepare mentally, physically and spiritually towards the childbirth (39 weeks and counting)..tick tock tick tock...

My pregnancy:
But somehow, I gained my strength back... After I got nagged by my hubby :)

 "You've spent a lot of time on your Master. And you've come this far despite the obstacles... and you can still continue on this whenever after the child is born. Tapi masa you nak bersalin nanti, it's your only experience for this only child, and it's a big event too. Whatever happen to you during labor nanti, only you can help yourself. others can't, especially orang2 yang buat awak susah tu, dorang tak ambil kisah pon macam mana urusan awak bersalin nanti... And without knowledge, confidence and all, how can you know what is the best for you and the baby? What if the doc wants to induce, what if you don't know how to push the right way? So I think, it's time for you to just focus on the baby. You've tried hard to please people tapi this time it's time for yourself. you've the right to do so"

And Yaaa, he got the points.... My children are my priority no matter how. If I want to try something new, something that I'm not familiar with, something memang takde experience langsung, I better be prepare... And since that night, I browsed as many info as I can, googled up articles, and joined a few forums that really help me in many ways.

And as far as I could remember, I just vet through articles for thesis writing twice and jenguk2 my writing also twice (for the whole week).... Teheeeee. tak boleh la nak tinggal langsung... siang carik info birthing, tengah2 malam (kalau rajin) buka pulak lembaran thesis... (tapi selalu tak rajin sangat)

Oh, i'd like to share some beneficial website, (in case you are planning for natural childbirth or pondering about the proper childbirth process etc)...
http://www.givingbirthnaturally.com

http://naturalchildbirthworld.com/

http://www.bellybelly.com.au/birth/

And I've also joined these amazing groups:-
Thanks to these groups because now I gain more knowledge and most importantly, confidence to try on my VBAC (trust me if you are not used to chldbirth experience and hanya terikat dengan cakap2 kawan2 about their childbirth experience which are all stereotype - supine position, lie down on bed, dont lift up your butt during pushing or u'll get severe perineum tears etc, u'll be surprise of the new perspective of childbirth)

Sangat2 berdoa semuanya dipermudahkan oleh Allah.... Aminnnn...

https://www.facebook.com/groups/mygentlebirth/

https://www.facebook.com/groups/ICANMalaysia/

One thing to share.... semalam pukul 12.34 pagi hubby call from his Maxis nu. I asked him why he called use that nu. (mahal)... he said another phone run out of batery....and here's the detail....

Me: it's OK. wait until u reach home, charge the phone n call me back. I'm not gonna sleep now.
Him: I'm actually dah depan rumah
Me: Oh, tak pelah then, masuk la rumah dulu. call back later
Him: I'm in front of rumah Meru la ni yanggg (my parents house)

And I straight away went to the front door and... TADAAAAAA, we was really there! I slapped his chest to confirm that that was real. Hahaha...

We went to McD, senyap2 masuk n keluar rumah sebab everybody had just slept... and this morning my dad pon terkejut tiba2 menantu dia buat surprise...

Oh, in case you may ask. My hubby sampai khamis malam (pagi) and akan pulang semula ke Oman sabtu malam. Just a weekend visit (Oman cuti Jumaat and Sabtu)...  Hmmm... it wasn't me, it's his idea OK. I'm doing just fine here...(padahal happy giler).

But now Aaron Houdd pulak demam. within 4 hours he vomited 5 times... (apa yang masuk, terus akan keluar right away). Itu memang simptom demam Aaron Houdd...Still monitoring his condition right now... kalau demam panas sangat have to bathe him with warm water (normally just bogel and lap basah2 je. nak mandi tak sampai hati) and give him paraC. Hope not to that extend... Huhu...

Bad news, big hikmah I guess.

Everyone encounters different stage of tasks in a different way. As Muslims, we should believe that all the ujiaan we face will eventually lead us to something good, cause we believe Allah doesn't burden us something that we couldn't bear. Or in other words, Allah only tests us with the ujiaan that is possible for us to solve. "When there's problem, there's a way to tackle it"

Remember this ayaat? ......Allah does not impose upon any soul a duty but to the extent of its ability. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people.... :: 2 : 286 ::

This ayaat is very wonderful! A great reminder and a powerful Du'a too...

And speaking of ujiaan... This is what I'm going to share.

As you know, my hubby and I are now in the LDR phase. It's not easy, and never will be any easier so long as we are in this phase. But this challenge is just part and partial of our marriage journey. Life goes on. Others face different kind of problems in their marriage journey : Trying to conceive a baby, financial, health, etc etc. Yet, life goes on.

My pregnancy is now 37 weeks. 2 weeks ago, I received a call from my hubby, saying that his company may want to freeze any leave in Oct due to some big events i.e launching new Islamic product of the bank and grand official opening of the Islamic Bank's division (sort of). And tadaaa, my EDD is in Oct! when I first hear the news, I felt so mad! What I just heard was so nerves wrecking!

I took a deep breath to digest the news. I could no longer hear my hubby's voice clearly, just heard him calling "sayang, sayang" a few times after that. Can you imagine that? I'm about to give birth to OUR baby, not mine alone, and the most important person, the one that I really need at that moment, may not join me during that big event! I think it's totally make sense if I feel mad. And yes, I was so mad that I just blurted anything I wanted-didn't really care of my hubby's feeling. Yeah yeah, all the blame was on him! Well, he's the one who leave us, we are still here. not going anywhere!

But that didn't last long. I asked permission to end the conversation right away, as I need to calm myself before I hurt my hubby's feeling with my unconscious-unthinking words. But my hubby gave me only like...5 minutes to calm down, he called me back.... But Alhamdulillah, within that short period of time, I gained my rationality back. I just told him that I think it's Ok if it's really happen. I think I'll be able to handle the situation. I think I'll be fine. just keep on praying that the process will be smooth.That's all I need. In the end I did tell him that most importantly, I want to make sure that Allah is always with me, esp during the hard time - And I said all that with tears I tried hard to hold back.

Up till now, my hubby is still trying his best to ask for exception to take leaves (though he's the mastermind of the product, and one of the main person for the whole Bank event). If not, he'd be able to take long leave - paternity leave + block leave for 10 days. But now.... All we can do now is to pray, and my hubby just need to try his best. Twakkal 'ala Allah. inshaAllah there must b a way....We'll see how it turns out.

::Reminiscene of my first week after delivery 2 years back = My hubby was the hero of the story. He helped me in many ways: Brought the necessities, provide whatever necessary, clean up my wastes and discharges, massage my feet, shoulder, head, whatever...Only him can do this to me, without me even have to ask. without shame :: 

OK. that's one story.

Remember my last post about Looking for a malay/muslim confinement lady (CL)?
I goggled here and there, asked friends and people about this, posted status in FB wall and in few forums. I went to Shadira spa and some other places myself to survey. Alhamdulillah, I found 2 candidates that fit my requirement... And out of this 2, I chose this makcik from Malacca that I knew from a blogger. From her review that she posted in her blog, this Makcik did a superb service. I made a few calls with the Makcik, asked questions, and lastly, close the deal!--- This happened couple of months ago, during early Ramadhan.

From the early discussion, the agreement was to take her for 15 days home-care service for RM2K... But I've to deposit RM500 in her account to confirm booking. OK. easy peasy.

But since then, I called many times to ask for her account nu. She said she'll give me when she's home. She was in duty everytime I called, and she didn't remember her account nu. At last she said, I don't have to pay the deposit cause we already meet the agreement. Coincidentally she has one customer in Taman Melawati end of Sept so she'll go straight to me after finish her work there. She remember my name, safe my contact nu. and she said she'll call me back on my EDD, just to check whether or not I have delivered the baby. If yes, somebody just have to fetch her at  Batu 3 KTM station. It's quite weird though, dealing business in such way. I somehow felt unsafe.

And my gut was telling me the truth. This morning, the Makcik called me and told me that she has to cancel the service because she just realized she already has one customer just 5 days after my EDD. That customer has already confirmed the booking since June. I asked her if she already has customer since June, why on earth she didn't tell me right away when I asked her last time??? She said she didn't check her schedule until last night! What! that is so insane, doesn't make sense at all! If she has that attitude, I bet I'm not the only one who face this problem.

I was so mad and frustrated but I don't know why I didn't scold her. Makcik tak makcik, this is so unprofessional! She apologized but that wasn't enough! It's easy for her to just run away but I am the one who have to face the consequences. Only 2 weeks ++ to my EDD, and now I don't have any CL!

I called my hubby and told him about this. Pity him. I didn't mean to make him worry, but I have to let him involve this time. Before this, I took charge of almost everything regarding this CL, hospital survey, baby items etc. But now, at this time, he has to...

So we are now trying our best to find a good CL in last minute. Normally we have to book a few months early for the CL especially if we have one really good. But at this last minute time, I just hope to solve this problem ASAP.

I don't care how good the service she could provide. But the very basic thing must correct- attitude. Do you think it's good to let people in trouble and you just walk away from the problem you created for others, as long as you are OK?

My hubby said "It's Ok. mesti ada hikmah. Kita usaha dulu. inshaAllah."
I just hope we can solve the problem. My hubby is away. Farrr away, not away like, just 100 miles away...my moms working. And I have Aaron Houdd to take care of. I've decided to try for VBAC delivery despite my previous history of CPD. but just in case I have to undergo another c-sect, with my hubby is away, who's going to take care of me and the baby? She knew my situation very well. We discussed about this, I told her about my condition and my concern. If only she ever thinks of the consequences of  her action....

I can't predict what comes next. But I just hope that in the end, I'll be OK. and the baby is alright. Right now I don't really in the mood of telling you in detail about my Master's progress, the rejection of pengurangan yuran which cost me RM 1300++ for this semester padahal I've already in writing mode (no point of paying the research fees which cost me more than half of the total price), and my lecturer's intention to add some more labwork towards the end of my master's journey (I don't deny the fact that what she's doing is for my own good, but indeed, the time is not suitable.not now!). All...came at once!

It's like I'm having a can of worms... a major quagmire in this critical time. A long and deep sigh may seem to suit me... I feel burdened, and yes I sometimes feel out of control.

But...
Do you remember the story of Prophet Ayyub, on how Allah tests him with stages of ujiaan, each time was great and heavy. He lost his health, wealth, children, even his wife....Yet Prophet Ayyub's Imaan neither break nor shatter. Allahuakbar, Allahuakbar, Allahuakbar.... the story of Prophet Ayyub is my strength every time I feel so out of control.....though... I must admit, deep inside, my heart is ache, my emotion is disturbed, my brain keeps on producing tonnes of questions-the top one is Why me? why now? and I am not excluded from comparing my journey with others - like why I have to face stages of obstacle just to achieve (just) one goal? why others' are easier?

But then.... I realize that I have no right to blame anyone, precisely Allah... for all that happen. Because this is my life story. Others' are different. And yes, maybe my prayer is not sincere enough, my effort is not hard enough, and my love to Allah is not deep enough... Before I question Allah, I have to question myself first. Am I a good servant, and have I forgotten easily all other ni'mat Allah has given me.... The nikmat is wayyyy to much than the tests he's given.... Just like what Prophet Ayyub asked his wife before he let her go...

So which of the favors of your Lord would you deny?

(Ar-rahman, 55:13)

Daddy, Ummi & Adik Baby

Last monday, before kami check in di Concorde, kami sempat buat monthly check up. Alhamdulillah, adik baby dah 19 weeks++. EDD mengikut ultrasound adalah pada 22/10/12 (Akh Aaron lahir 22/2/10). Memang nombor 0,1,2 je eh? Hehe.... Tapi kalau mengikut doc, jika ditakdirkan I ni memang tak boleh bersalin normal, biasanya by weeks 36 to 38 doc akan induce dah. tak perlu tunggu 40 weeks. (Oh I was diagnosed with CPD via MRI scan during my previous pregnancy). 

Anyway, mengikut scan, perkembangan adik baby baik. Alhamdulillah, ukuran diameter skull, abdomen, semuanya sesuai. Fetus heart pun positive. Adik baby pun sama macam abang dia, kuat menendang termasuklah time doc tengah scan. Hehe... Cume untuk memastikan further health condition seperti cleft, formation of organs macam kidney, lung, liver, etc doc suruh buat check up dekat O&G specialist. Tak pe lah, yang tu nanti dulu. Ummi pun tengah survey lagi nak bersalin kat mana kalini. Hihi...

Kalau mengikut babycentre.com, by this week sensory development adik baby sudah semakin sensitif. Ummi sepatutnya kena banyak bercakap dan mengaji kepada adik baby supaya inshaAllah dapat membantu perkembangan minda adik baby....

Memang tak dinafikan pregnant anak pertama dengan kedua ni ada perbezaan. Seperti yang I dah ceritakan pada post2 yang sebelum ni, perbezaan tu more to simptom dan penjagaan. Tapi untuk kali ni ia lebih dari sekadar simptom. Kalau si abang dulu I dah ada nama dari dia belum di alam rahim lagi, tapi untuk yang ini, nama tu memang dah ada la dalam list, tapi masih samar2. Siapa cakap bila dah pernah pregnant, the next pregnancy akan jadi mudah. Yes in some way, tapi sebenarnya walaupun baru 2 tahun yang lalu I pregnant, tapi bila pregnant lagi banyak jugak I kena belajar or recall semula. OK la tu kan. Baru la rasa seronok. Hehe...

Kalau dengan si abang dulu setiap hari dia akan dengar suara Ummi mengaji (kecuali time Ummi mengelat.hehe), dan hampir setiap malam daddy akan mengaji untuk abang, tapi untuk adik baby, Daddy minta maaf sangat sebab daddy jauh. Daddy cume boleh mengaji dari jauh. Adik baby hanya dapat dengar suara Ummi mengaji untuk adik baby. Tapi tak apa, kita mengaji sama2, inshaAllah kita khatam lagi ye. 

Daddy jugak minta maaf pada adik baby sebab Daddy tak dapat nak hari2 bercakap dengan adik baby. Sebab daddy jauh. Tapi tiap2 malam bila daddy call Ummi adik baby ni macam tau pulak time tu lah dia nak menendang2 memberi respon :)

And Daddy jugak minta maaf pada Ummi sebab tak dapat jaga Ummi sebaik Daddy jaga Ummi pada pregnancy yang sebelumni. Kasih sayang Daddy pada adik baby tetap sama. Malah kami yakin adik baby akan menjadi anak yang kuat dan soleh, inshaAllah...

Sebabtulah, seboleh2nya Daddy akan cuba balik sebulan sekali walaupun hanya 3 hari shj, sebab Daddy taknak miss monthly check up adik baby. Itu bukanlah kehendak Ummi, tapi kehendak Daddy. Biarlah sesetengah orang ingat Ummi ni manja ke apa. Tapi sebagai suami dan daddy, Daddy dah berusaha yang terbaik mungkin untuk kita. Duit bukanlah boleh membeli kebahagiaan dan kasih sayang. Lagipun ini cuma untuk sementara sahaja. Tahun depan kita boleh berkumpul sama2 hari2 :)

Walaupun Ummi tak dapat menumpukan 100% perhatian kepada adik baby sebab kena berkongsi perhatian dengan Akh Aaron, tapi adik baby kena tahu yang in some other way adik baby lebih beruntung. Walaupun Daddy jauh dan Ummi sibuk, tapi hari2 Akh Aaron akan datang kiss adik baby and main2 dengan Adik Baby. Akh Aaron suka main 'tickle tickle baby'. Sometimes memanglah Akh Aaron akan lasak sikit, tapi adik beradik kenalah sayang menyayangi dan maaf memaafi ye :)

Adik baby juga beruntung sebab walaupun Daddy jauh, tapi masih ada ramai lagi yang selalu mengikuti perkembangan adik baby. So Ummi doakan adik baby sihat, dan lahir menjadi anak yang soleh dan mukmin yang berjaya. Amiinnn....

Akh Aaron Houdd pun sama. Kecik2 dah berjauhan dengan Daddy. Walhal time macamnilah waktu yang paling sesuai untuk Daddy mendidik anak2nya macam2 pelajaran. Aaron pun dah tak banyak 'Daddy & Son time' macam dulu. Tapi Daddy tetap sayang, sama macam dulu...

And for the first time after 3 months being in long distant relationship, malam ni Ummi terasa sebak sangat. Sebak sebab memikirkan betapa anak2 Ummi memerlukan Daddy nya, sama macam Ummi memerlukan suami di sisi. Untuk diri Ummi, Ummi rasa inshaAllah OK. Cuma untuk anak2 Ummi, terasa sebak rasanya... Begitu juga bila memikirkan Daddy yang hari2 sunyi sorang2 di sana. Tak dapat nak melihat keletah anak2 melihat wajah isteri. Mesti lagi pedih rasanya.

Teringat 5 hari yang lalu betapa bahagianya kita sekeluarga dapat berkumpul bersama. Teringat setiap pagi Daddy akan suapkan Obimin pada Ummi everytime after breakfast dan Akh Aaron akan berebut dengan Daddy nak bagi Ummi medicine. Teringat pada malam terakhir Daddy bersama kita Ummi dah mula demam teruk, jarang Ummi minta ubat kecuali dah teruk macam malam tu, entah pukul berapa pagi Daddy keluar belikan Ummi paracetamol. And terngiang2 suara Daddy mengaji untuk adik baby dan Akh Aaron yang sedang tidur. Semuanya Ummi teringat masa Ummi mengaji bersama adik baby tadi... Sebaknya rasa hati...

Teringat juga detik2 perit yang terpaksa kita lalui sepanjang ketiadaan Daddy. Masa Aaron demam panas, 2 malam berturut2 Ummi berkejar ke A&E SDMC. Masa setiap kali kereta buat hal, masa Ummi mabuk dan sakit belakang malam2, masa Aaron wean from BF sebulan yang lepas, masa Aaron mengamuk malam2. Ada banyak perkara yang kita lalui bertiga (Ummi, Akh Aaron & adik baby). Ada banyak juga yang dibantu oleh family. Alhamdulillah, semuanya kenangan buat Ummi...

Sebabtulah, sekarangni Ummi tak boleh berpisah langsung dari Aaron Houdd walaupun hanya untuk satu malam.... Dan Ummi selalu berdoa agar adik baby membesar menjadi anak yang soleh. Ummi bersyukur punya anak2 yang membahagiakan hati Ummi di samping Daddy yang jauh tetapi dekat di hati...

Setiap anak berbeza-beza

Selamat Hari Ibu kepada rakan2 fabulous moms sekalian alam! Moga kita semua menjadi ibu2 yang solehah di dalam mendidik anak2. Aminnnn :)

OK. harini I nak membebel pasal anak. Biasalah kan. Mak-mak ni tak lain sikit2 nak cerita pasal anak. Ye tak. OK lah tu. Daripada dok mengumpat pasal orang lain, lebih baik cerita pasal anak2 sendiri. Tapi, cerita tu biarlah berpada-pada ye tak. Anak kita pun manusia. Sungguhpun masih kecil, tapi tetap punya perasaan dan perlu dihormati maruahnya. And jangan pulak cerita sakan sampai orang lain pun dok meluat macam lah anak kita lah the best. Hehe...

Kali ni, mari kita bercerita tentang karakter anak2. Semua orang tahu setiap anak memang berbeza-beza karakter dan sikapnya. Kalau ada 10 orang anak, 10 different karakter lah yang kena kita hadapi. Perbezaan karakter ni biasanya dah boleh nampak dari masa pregnant lagi. Setiap anak pembawaanya takkan sama 100%.

Macam I, masa pregnant Aaron Houdd dulu mabuk sampai rasa macam serik dah nak pregnant. I masih ingat I pernah cakap kat hubby rasa macam ni last dah pregnant. Masa tu sebab dah terjelopok dalam toilet sebab kes mabuk yang teruk. Pernah I terlelap dalam toilet jugak. Dan simptom mabuk menyerang sampai ke hujung nak bersalin. Selain mabuk, I kena sakit belakang yang kronik sampai kalau baring, nak bangun tu sampai bertongkat2 and menggagau carik dinding ke apa utk berpaut. Sakit yang amat sampai kekadang tu terjerit-jerit manja jugak la. And time ni, perut tak buncit lagi pun dah dok gosok2 sekali sekali pastu tersengih2 sendirian. Hati pun selalu berdebar2 takut campur happy sebab akan bergelar ibu. Time ni segala raw food termasuklah salad I memang tak makan. Semuanya mesti well cooked. And en.hubby memang amat-amat concern sampai I cuci toilet pun tak boleh sebab guna chemical yang kuat utk sental toilet (Padahal kat lab hari2 buat kerja guna chemical bahaya. Hehe). Perkembangan baby jgn cakap lah. Walaupun dalam buku biasanya bg weekly development, I boleh dikatakan tiap2 malam akan baca buku nak tahu development baby.

Masa pregnant yang I miscarriage last year pulak, dok nak makan tutti frutti je hari2. Rasa heaven sungguh kalau dapat. I ingat I ada cakap dekat my hubby kalau tak makan satu hari pun takpe asalkan dapat benda alah ni (tutti frutti). Masa tu memang bulan puasa pun.

Masa pregnant kali ni pulak. Mabuk tu memang kemestian lah kot. Tapi I perasan kali ni mabuknya taklah seteruk masa Aaron Houdd dulu. Alhamdulillah, hubby pun takde, selalu I doa supaya dipermudahkan urusan terutamanya dalam pregnancy. Cuma agak sedih utk baby kalini, I start mengaji betul2 utk baby pun lambat, pastu lambat juga rasa connection dengan baby. Bab makan pun I tak berapa strict sangat macam dulu tapi I perasan I prefer Nandos berbanding makanan2 lain.hehe.. Baby development so far I update dari weekly mail from baby center je (since buku pun dah dipinjam orang and masih belum dipulang2. Tp tak pe pun. Hehe) Bukan tak sayang. Cume terlalu dibusykan dengan yang depan mata yang perlukan perhatian 24 hours (siapa lagi, si budak hero tu lah) and kerja2 and study. Sekarang dah 17 weeks++ so dah mula rasa baby bergerak, baru lah I rasa lebih kuat connection dgn baby. Kesian adik baby. Tapi takpe, Ummi yakin baby akan membesar jadi strong child sebab baby and ummi sama2 menempuh cabaran dgn ketiadaan daddy. Lagipun kita ada Akh Aaron untuk jaga kita di sini :)

Development milestone dan cabaran di dalam mendidik anak2 pun tak sama antara anak2 kita dan juga anak2 orang lain. Contohnya my son, dia memang amat terkenal dengan kepetahannya di dalam bercakap. (Nak nama after prophet Haruun yang petah berdebat, dapat anak petah bercakap. Hehe). Bagi sesetengah ibu2 di luar sana kalau terbaca about my son in my blog, bila I inform anak I banyak vocab, pandai menyanyi, tapi bila tengok anak2 sendiri yang mungkin dah sama umur dengan Aaron tapi belum bercakap lagi... Janganlah bersedih. Sebab anak2 kalian punyai karakter yang berbeza. Lambat bercakap, tapi mungkin cepat di dalam bab2 lain.

Aaron Houdd memang seorang anak yang bijak, tetapi cabaran I di dalam mendidik dan membesarkan Aaron Houdd ada di tempat lain. Kalau dah bijak tu, pening juga kepala nak handle ye tak. Dan cabaran terbesar I di dalam mendidik Aaron pada masa ni adalah untuk menjadikan dia anak yang kurang manja dan pandai berkongsi. Mungkin rakan2 lain tak mengalami apa yang I alami. Atau mungkin juga ye. Mungkin you all boleh memasak dengan aman dan anak boleh main and tidur sendiri. Tapi Aaron Houdd tidak. Aaron Houdd juga adalah seorang yang picky eater tahap gaban. Memang boleh tahan menyusu sahaja sehari suntuk. Nasi memang dia tak gemar langsung. I dok fikir benda ni sampai kadang2 termasuk dalam mimpi. And disebabkan Aaron tak suka makan, agak sukar untuk kami makan di luar sebab Aaron bosan duduk di meja makan sebab dia tak join makan sekali. Biasanya kami terpaksa bergilir2 makan. Perkara ni mungkin tak dihadapi oleh you all. Anak2 kita memang berbeza-beza sifat dan karakternya.

Di dalam mendidik anak, kita sebagai parents memang kena terer ilmu psikology kanak2, selain punyai kesabaran yang tebal. Tak boleh kita pukul rata semua anak sama. Juga kurang sesuai untuk kita selalu membanding2 kan anak kita dengan adik beradiknya yang lain, atau pun dengan anak orang lain. Kalau perbandingan tu memberi kesan positif mungkin lah boleh. Tapi apa yang biasa dilakukan oleh parents adalah terlalu sering membanding2 kan anak dengan yang lain sehingga hilang nilai positifnya. Lebih baik jika kita bandingkan pencapaiannya secara berkala, sbg contoh, daripada kita bandingkan anak kita dengan anak jiran yang selalu dapat markah tinggi dalam exam, lebih baik kita bandingkan pencapaian exam anak kita yang terkini dengan yang sebelumnya. Lebih praktikal dan realistik rasanya. Jika pencapaiannya baik, kita puji. Jika tidak, kita tegur. Bukan hanya memandang yang negatif kerana secara tak langsung kita juga akan melahirkan anak2 yang berfikiran negatif dan hanya suka menilai sesuatu dari sisi yang negatif sahaja.

Perbezaan tak semestinya membawa kekusutan. Dengan adanya perbezaan lah kadangkala sesebuah keluarga itu mencapai kebahagiaan. Jika si abang pemarah sifatnya, mungkin si adik lebih cool. Jika si kakak agak tinggi egonya, bila ibu ayah merajuk dengan anak2 kakak pun turut merajuk sama, mungkin si adik yang menjadi pendamai, memujuk hati ibu ayah dan menasihati kakak.

Jadi sebagai parents (especially para ibu), nak tak nak kita memang kena menjadi pakar psikologi anak2 kita sendiri. Kita kena tahu karakter setiap seorang dari anak2 kita. Suami pun perlu lah membantu bagi melahirkan suasana yang positif ye :)

Like daddy like son. Akh Aaron Houdd :)

Zaman memang sudah berubah.

Baru-baru ni I secara tak sengajanya terbaca satu forum tentang marriage life ni. Banyak info yg I dapat and belajar daripada forum tersebut. Disebabkan forum tu bersifat umum, jadi topik2 perbincangannya juga agak general - daripada isu pra perkahwinan (persiapan wedding etc), pengantin baru, family in general, baby dan lain-lain....

Dalam banyak2 topik, I berkanan dengan topik family planning. I perasan tajuk tu menjadi hangat bila ada dua pendapat tentang perlunya merancang keluarga ni. Ada yang bersetuju, ada jugak yang tidak. Kedua2nya mempunyai hujah2 yang baik. Dan mungkin juga apa sahaja pendapat yang kita pegang tu ada sangkut pautnya juga dengan latar belakang kita.

Secara kesimpulannya I lihat mana2 pihak yang bersetuju perlunya family planning ni majoritynya adalah dari kalangan mereka2 yang sudah berumah tangga, and kebanyakannya ibu muda. Mungkin lah kerana faktor2 seperti kekangan masa, keperluan mengurus rumah tangga dan lain2, di mana kebanyakan ibu2 muda zaman sekarang memang mempunyai banyak tanggungjawab samada di rumah ataupun di luar rumah.

Pada pendapat peribadi I, samada merancang ataupun tidak, semuanya terserah kepada pasangan itu sendiri. Cuma yang penting, bak kata Dr. Harlina, SETIAP ANAK MESTILAH DIKEHENDAKI.

Mari kita lihat istilah 'merancang keluarga' dan 'persiapan sebelum mempunyai anak' sebagai suatu yang positif.

Merancang keluarga BUKAN bermaksud kita perlu menyekat kehamilan untuk sekian-sekian lama, atau mengehadkan jumlah anak. Ia mungkin lebih baik jika difahami sebagai mempersiapkan diri dan persekitaran demi kelahiran SETIAP cahaya mata. Itu boleh jadi jika kita belum betul2 bersedia dari sisi2 tertentu, kita boleh 'menangguhkan' kehamilan mengikut cara2 yg telah disyorkan oleh doktor.

Tetapi ia juga boleh jadi sebaliknya, di mana jika kita sudah bersedia, maka kita perlu mempersiapkan diri dan persekitaran agar dapat menjaga diri dan kandungan dengan baik. Itu termasuklah mengambil asid folik sejak sebelum kehamilan, dan mula menjaga kesihatan diri secara serius, seiring dengan doa dan tawakal kepada Allah yang memberi rezeki. Ini juga termasuk para suami kerana benih yang baik datangnya dari suami itu sendiri. Jadi sekiranya anda sudah merancang untuk memiliki anak, suami itu dahulu yang perlu memastikan dirinya sihat dan benih yang bakal disumbangkan kepada isteri adalah yang terbaik!

Biasa terdengar (juga di dalam forum tersebut) hujah paling kukuh untuk tidak berapa menyukai family planning adalah kerana setiap anak adalah rezeki dari Allah. Maka jika kita merancang kehamilan, maka kita menolak rezeki Allah. Siapa kita untuk menolak rezeki Allah?

Satu lagi hujah adalah mengapa pasangan zaman sekarang terlalu suka dengan family planning sedangkan para ibu2 pada zaman dahulu mampu melahirkan dan mengasuh anak yang ramai tanpa gagal? Apatah lagi jika zaman dahulu, ramai di kalangan para ibu tidak bekerja dan si ayah hanya petani, nelayan atau peniaga kecil-kecilan yang bergaji rendah. Mampu juga membesarkan anak sehingga dewasa?

Kedua2 hujah I setuju 100%. Benar, anak adalah rezeki Allah. Anak juga adalah amanah dan tanggungjawab kepada ibu bapa. Jadi, biarlah kita menyediakan yang terbaik buat anak kita mengikut kemampuan, dan mendidik mereka dengan baik. Rezeki yang datangnya dari Allah perlulah disyukuri dan dipelihara. Kerana rezeki adalah nikmat. Tetapi jika rezeki itu tidak dilihat sebagai nikmat, sebaliknya menjadi bebanan, maka adakah kita bersyukur dengan rezeki tersebut?

Sejak di universiti I bergiat aktif di dalam NGO. Banyak isu remaja bermasalah lahir daripada keluarga yang tidak sakinah. Secara logiknya, mungkin tiada ibu bapa yang sanggup mengaku merasa terbeban dengan bilangan anak yang ramai dan kesempitan hidup di tambah dengan masalah suami isteri yang tidak pernah berkesudahan. Tapi I juga mendengar luahan pelajar2 yang sering diherdik, dipukul oleh ibu/bapa dengan kata-kata kesat sambil menyatakan bahawa mereka hanyalah menyusahkan keluarga sahaja. Pernah juga I terdengar ibu bapa yang setiap kali mempunyai masalah akan melepaskan kemarahannya kepada anak2 dan merungut2 di hadapan anak2, sehinggakan si anak tidak ubah seperti bebanan mereka semata-mata. Agak menyedihkan apabila keadaan ibu bapa yang suka marah anak2 di khalayak ramai sambil menunjal kepala dan mencarut di hadapan anak2, walaupun si anak baru berumur sekitar 5 ke 7 tahun. Dan ayat yang saya sudah beberapa kali dengar selain 'bodoh' adalah 'menyusahkan aku saja'. Astaghfirullah...

Mungkin ini adalah masalah sikap. Tiada kaitan dengan perlunya merancang keluarga. Tapi kes-kes yang komplikated mempunyai banyak faktor. Jika kita berharta, mempunyai banyak kemudahan, mungkin anak seramai 5-7 orang tidaklah menjadi masalah. Tetapi bagaimana dengan yang tidak mempunyai pekerjaan yang tetap dan sebagainya? Jadi isu di sini bukanlah semata-mata berapa jumlah anak dan jaraknya tetapi perancangan tersebut bergantung kepada setiap keluarga mengikut kapasiti dan kemampuan masing2. Dan kemampuan itu, hanya kita yang mampu mengukurnya. Ia termasuklah dari segi ketahanan mental, kewangan, masa dan sikap.

Zaman memang telah banyak berubah. Jika dahulu para ibu tidak bekerja dan hanya menguruskan hal rumah tangga, kini para ibu majoritynya terdiri daripada para graduan university dan ramai juga yang berkerjaya. Jangan hanya melihat faktor kewangan sebagai penyebab perlunya perancangan keluarga. Benar, anak itu rezeki. Kita tidak perlu bergaji besar untuk mempunyai anak! Sebaliknya ia bergantung kepada bagaimana kita menguruskan kewangan dan pandai menyelenggara kewangan apabila berlakunya pertambahan ahli keluarga.

Tetapi ada banyak faktor lain yang perlu dipertimbangkan. Zaman sekarang, jika bergaji tinggi sekalipun, kita akan dikenakan income tax. Menaiki kenderaan perlu membayar tol dan mengisi minyak. Mahu makan pun bukan seperti zaman dahulu yang jika tiada apa-apa boleh lihat sekeliling rumah dan petik-petik sahaja ulam yang ada. Rata-rata kos nursery atau pembantu rumah sahaja boleh memeningkan kepala. Itu belum lagi kos pendidikan, rumah sakit dan sebagainya.

Bagi ibu bapa yang bekerja, cubalah kira berapa banyak masa yang kita luangkan di jalan raya, pejabat dan lain2 jika ingin dibandingkan dengan masa yang ada di rumah. Itu belum lagi bagi pasangan yang jarak jauh. Bagi I isu masa amat penting. Lebih2 lagi I sendiri dibesarkan di tangan ramai pengasuh dan amat sukar bertemu dengan ibu bapa sendiri kerana masing2 sibuk bekerja. Suami pula dari baby telah dijaga oleh neneknya. Semasa remaja, teman baik dan penyimpan rahsia2 I bukanlah ibu atau ayah, tetapi adalah rakan-rakan.

Faktor-faktor begini yang sebenarnya menyumbang kepada masalah stress dan menyebabkan kesediaan kita untuk memiliki sebuah keluarga yang besar kadangkala terganggu. Jangankan soal anak, suami isteri juga boleh bergaduh kerana isu-isu kewangan, tugas, tanggungjawab, sikap dan lain-lain lagi, walaupun masih belum mempunyai anak.

Lagipun, zaman sekarang majority kita sudahpun terdedah kepada ilmu-ilmu merancang keluarga, tidak seperti zaman dahulu. Lagipun, tidak semua kita mahu anak-anak kita membesar sebagaimana susahnya kita dibesarkan dahulu, kerana kita tidak mahu anak2 kita merasai kesusahan dan keperitan yang pernah kita alami. Jadi adalah agak kurang adil jika kita ingin menyamakan zaman dahulu dan sekarang sedangkan ternyata sudah berubah.

Itu belum lagi jika dilihat faktor anak2 itu sendiri. Dulu, anak2 sangat menghormati ibu bapa. Jika ibu menjegil mata saja kita sudah tahu kita melakukan kesalahan dan cepat2 membetulkan diri. Kalau nakal lagi pasti akan kena rotan. Sekarang, jika kita jegil mata silap2 anak akan tanya "Kenapa mak, pandang2 macam tu?". Kalau anak remaja sikit, kena tegur sikit silap haribulan tak tegur kita seminggu. Bayangkan kalau memiliki keluarga yang tidak dirancang?

Kemahuan dan keperluan anak juga sudah berubah. Dulu kita seronok bermain tarik upih, galah panjang, atau baling selipar. Sekarang, nak beli mainan baby pun harganya boleh mencecah puluhan ringgit. Itu belum lagi yang mahukan handphone. Internet sudah menjadi kemestian. Kalau kita mahu terlalu menyekat anak, nanti psikologinya pula akan terjejas. Manakan tidak, di sekolah kawan2 yang lain semua bercerita tentang apa yang dia tiada. Janganlah katakan anak, ibu bapa zaman sekarang pun dah sibuk berfacebook dan lain2 kan? :)

Jadi sebagai kesimpulan, merancang keluarga ni perlulah dilihat dari sisi positif. Jika nak memulakan bisnes online pun kita punyai bermacam2 strategi, takkan ingin menjaga amanah Allah yang satu ini kita boleh bersikap sambil lewa? Dan perlulah difahami bahawa merancang keluarga bukanlah semestinya kita mengehadkan anak kepada jumlah yang sedikit. Kita masih boleh memiliki 4-6 orang anak, asalkan biarlah setiap satunya DIKEHENDAKI.

Wallahua'lam...

* Teringat kisah seorang kakak di lab yang sudah mempunyai 5 orang anak, setiap satu jaraknya dekat2. Selepas kelahiran anak ke 5 doktor suruh si kakak ni melakukan IUD atau ikat terus. Paling tidak buatlah implan. Agak marah juga doktor tersebut. Tapi kakak ni rileks je dan cakap, "taknak lah sebab saya nak anak lagi". Walaupun anaknya rapat2, tapi setiap satunya memang dikehendaki :)

Buat sahabat tersayang. Redhailah pemergiannya

16/8/2011
Sekitar pukul 10 am:-

T: Aku cuak ni
Me: Awat?
T: Aku dah selesai kencing. Tapi ada air keluar lagi. Takkan kencing kot?
Me: Ye la tu kot. Org preggy kan terasa nk kencing jek. Kekadang rasa mcm tak lawas
T: Tapi aku rasa dah habis kencing dah
Me: Ko boleh control tak rasa air keluar tu? Kalau boleh rasa, maybe kencing la kot. Tapi kalau tak boleh rasa erm.... takut benda lain.
T: Dah la tadi aku rasa perot aku ni kejap2 mengeras

(Beberapa perbualan personal yang I tanya my friend konon nak investigate sebab musabab masalah dia, yang tak berapa elok dibualkan di sini. Hehe)

Me: Ko dah berapa bulan ni?
T: 35 weeks. Lagi 9 hari nak 36.
Me: Tu kira premature la kan. Ko jaga2 la sikit wei. Kalau boleh tahan la. Baby premature susah sikit. Lung devlopment tak complete lagi. Baby pun very weak and prone to infections.
T: Tula, aku dah risau giler dah ni. Takkan la dah nak beranak. Aku patut beranak 22/9
Me: Takkan air ketuban kot? ko rasa sakit tak?
T: Tak sakit pun. Tapi kawan aku cakap air ketuban boleh tumpah sikit2
Me: Ish, ko ni bia benar. Macam ni la. Ko amek je EL or MC harini
T: Malas la aku. Dah aku sorang je kat rumah...
Me: Ko pakai penti dulu, tengok beberapa ketika. Kalau masih keluar, then better ko pegi cek.

Sekitar pukul 4pm:-

T: Wei, aku dah on the way ke HTAR dah ni.
Me: Apsal ko dah nak bersalin ke?
T: Tadi aku sampai2 sekolah je basah kain aku. Air ketuban aku dah pecah. Ni aku baru keluar dari PPUM. Tapi PPUM tak nak aku sebab dorang cakap dorang baru pindah bangunan baru, peralatan banyak tak cukup. Takut kalau complication aku susah nanti...

Pukul 7pm:-
Me: T ko dah mcmner?
T: T kad wad baru register (skali Hasben dia laaaa)

Pukul 9:56pm:-
T: Aku kena warded. Doc inject aku ngn ubat matangkan paru2. Sakit giler. Pastu dia dok jolok2 aku, sentap weh. masa dia masukkan jari nk cek bape cm dah buka, sakit ko. Doc ckp nk tunggu sampai 36week. Aku dah sakit kerap2 ni. Dh 2cm buka.
Me: Oh, ko kena inject steroid. Nanti ko kena 2x inject. Aku dulu macam ko. Ikut pengalaman aku, kena warded 1 malam, pastu kena drip beberapa botol, monitor heartbeat baby, pastu esoknya dah boleh keluar. aku dulu pn kena. bukak 3cm tp pastu ok tu dh tutup balik.Tapi aku tak pham kenapa doc nk kena jolok2 ko utk tau bukaan? aku dulu dia tak buat smp sentap sgt pun.
T: Ntah la. tp mmg sakit. Oh boleh tutup balik ke?
Me: InshaAllah boleh. Tp itu kes aku la. ko aku tak tau mcmne nnt. InshaAllah ok kot. Ko jgn risau sgt. Ada pape ko bgtau aku tau

17/8/2011
T: Wei, baby aku dah lahir pukul 5:30 pg tadi
Me: Hah, dah lahir? Congratz. Awalnye, tak sabar2. Boy ke Girl?
T: Anak aku nak raya, dia cakap. Haha. boy, geng Aaron
Me: Aku nk melawat ko OK tak ni? Aku cuti ni semata2 ko beranak
T: Tak tahan la cuti sebab aku branak. Aku kt hospital. Anak aku kena tahan lagi, tak cukup bulan n jantung dia bergerak laju.Sian anak anku kat tngkat lain. Org lain lepas keluar labour room, baby semua kat sebelah. Huhu

(kami berbincang tentang breast pump sebab T bercadang nak beli. Last minute sebab tak bajet baby keluar seawal ini. Last2, I decide bg dia pinjam I punya jek. Jgn beli dulu.. Sebab? Herm... I tak tau, hati rasa mcmtu)

T: Baiknye ko nk bg pinjam dulu.
Me: Ko ni rilek je sms aku. Hebat betol tak penat ke?
T: Penat ooo meneran. Macam nak be**k ta*k keras and besar gile. Hahahaha. tak caye je aku telah berjaya meneran seorang manusia tadi

30 minit kemudian.
T: Weh, anak aku problem. Aku takde kat ward. Dia dlm NICU. Doc cakap dia tiba2 biru. Dia bernafas menggunakan alat bantuan pernafasan. Aku ngn Amin tengah tunggu dia. Aku dah cuak ni
Me: Yeke. Baby pramatang memang sensitif sikit. Lung tak berapa develop lagi. and very weak. Ko tenang beb. Many premature baby melalui saat sukar mcmni. And ramai yang end up dengan baik. Ko sabar la. Banyakkan doa. InshaAllah OK
T: Ko bayangkan la mana aku tak cuak. Tiba2 emergency alarm dia berbunyi, semua nurse berkejar2 kat tempat dia. Lepastu dorang tutup pintu. Aku tak tau apa jadi. Aku tak nampak pape. Aku takut tak sempat jumpa korang nanti sebab aku kat ward NICU.
Me: Peh, memang cuak. Takpe la, Sekarang ko fokus je anak ko dulu. Pepandai la kitorang bila sampai nanti

2.15 PM:-
Kami tiba di HTAR. I sempat tanya kawan2, dorang bawak present apa. Dorang cakap tak sempat beli sebab tak bajet. I pun cakap tak pe lah jangan beli dulu kot. And I tinggal je beg yg berisi breast pump dalam kereta... Tak tau la kenapa....

Tapi kami sampai lewat sedikit. So waktu melawat dah abis. Dah lama sangat tak visit orang kat gomen hospital sampai terlupa ada waktu melawat. Kami nak minta guna pas tapi tak guna pun sebab T and suaminya masih di NICU. NICU hanya benarkan parents sahaja masuk. So memang takleh jumpa T. So kami pulang dengan hampa...

8:58 PM:-
T: Doc cakap anak aku tenat :-(
Me: Yeke, doc cakap apa lagi, baby ko mcmner?
T: Sel darah putih dia rendah sangat. 1.9 je.
Me: Bila last ko cek up haritu? Masa tu takde pape detect complication kan?
T: 3 weeks ago. tu pun cek kencing manis. Aku patut jumpa balik last week, tapi aku tak pegi. Memang plan nak pegi esok sepatutnya...
Me: Herm... Ko banyakkan bersabar ye. And doa banyak2, Aku pun doakan untuk ko jugak, itu je yang termampu kita buat sekarangni... Wei, esok aku plan pegi UM half day je. Kalau ko nak aku datang and lepak sana ngan ko, bgtau je K. anything bgtau je K.

10:25 PM:-
T: Baby aku dah takde.....

Masa tu I sibuk tolong my mom basuh pinggan mangkuk sebab ada mini kenduri kat rumah. I tak baca sms tu. 10:29PM, T call dengan suara menangis yang memang I susah nak dengar dia cakap apa.... Yang bodoh nya, patut I boleh agak la kan kalau dah nangis2 mcm tu apa maknenya, tapi sebab I tak dengar dia cakap apa, I suruh dia ulang beberapa kali... I sangat menyesal sebab I patut boleh bayangkan apa perasaan dia nak cakap yang anak dia dah takde lagi.....berulang kali.....

And esok, I akan ke rumah dia seawal yang mungkin...
Sebab dia adalah my very best friend since form 1.

Kira-kira 1 tahun yang lalu, masa I pregnant Aaron, dia selalu cakap "Tak boleh jadi ni ko dah pregnant". I selalu jawab "Ko agak2 la beb, aku kawen dah dua tahun baru ada baby. Ko tu baru kawen,"

And T menunggu selama lebih kurang 2 tahun untuk dia pregnant. And kandungannya telah berusia 35 minggu lebih pada usia baby nya lahir.... Dan meninggal dunia....

T bukan macam I. Dia sangat suka budak. Kawen2 kalau boleh nak pregnant terus. Lagi2 la bila tarikh dia kahwin tu adalah tarikh I baru2 mula pregnant (cuma masa tu I tak cek up lagi so tak tau. A week or two after dia kawen baru I cek up and dah 7 weeks preggy).

And dia selalu cakap nak baby....

Pregnancy dia tak macam I. kitorang sangat kontra. I sepanjang 40 weeks preggy mabuk bukan kepalang. Dia rilek je. I punyalah susah makan, dia kaki makan sampai doc suruh control. I punyalah skema, baca macam2, menyebok nak tahu semua benda tentang pregnancy, baby and parenting, dia rilek je. Kalau nak tahu pape main ting tong I dekat facebook my hubby. I bukak kaunter pertanyaan kat situ. Pendek kata, dia memang rileks, Alhamdulillah sepanjang pregnancy, dia tak mengalami sakit2 and muntah2 macam I. Sampaikan dari kes kami chatting pada hari air ketubannya dia pecah, sampai la pagi sebelum anak nya tenat, dia masih rileks, cool and rock jek.... Boleh bergurau senda bagai.... Hinggalah anaknya tenat, barulah perbualan bertukar serius...

Allah lebih sayangkan baby mereka.
and I believe, semua ni pasti ada hikmahnya....
InshaAllah anak ini yang akan menjadi penunggu mereka suami isteri di syurga kelak...
I doakan, and I harap mereka redha dengan pemergian anak ini.

Setelah apa yang berlaku hari ini, I muhasabah diri. Lately Aaron sangat mencabar keimanan dan kesabaran. Seriously dia menjadi sangat manja dan banyak ragam. Sampai malam semalam I menangis and bercakap dengan dia time dia tidur, I minta dia tolong faham yang Ummi dan Daddy dia penat sangat. to some extend, kadang2 I saja bagi Onni jaga Aaron padahal I tak berapa busy, just because I tak larat sangat!


But after what had happened today.... I rasa sangat bersyukur... I rasa sangat bersalah pada Aaron and pada diri sendiri sebab tak menunaikan tanggungjawab dengan sepenuh hati. Tak apa lah Aaron dengan tantrum and meltdown nya. Yang penting I ada Aaron. I berkesempatan untuk merasai kehidupan sebagai seorang Ummi... I sangat bertuah....

And I doakan soon, T akan menyusuri jejak langkah ini juga... Menjadi seorang ibu....

Ramadhan: How to retain energy preggy mommy?

As-salaam alaikum.

How's everybody? How's fasting? Good huh? Alhamdulillah...
As for our family, we've been having sahoor together since day one. Yeah, together means with that (not so) tiny little tummy is included. Apparently, he wakes up earlier than the daddy. Ahha, sorry daddy. The son is a morning person and he has no problemo at all to wake up for sahoor. :D

Talking about fasting, I remember my fasting time during my pregnancy two years ago. I was about 4 to 5th months pregnant when Ramadhan came that year. Alhamdulillah, I'd passed fasting without fail. It wasn't that hard for me cause I wasn't a good eater during my pregnancy. Not a good eater, at all!

That was my story 2 years ago. Today, I witness three wonderful mothers striving their best to fulfill the Ramadhan fasting:-

The first one is my labmate, K. Su,- a 6 months preggy mother with a 15 months old toddler. She must have a very strong spirit to keep fasting while doing all the labworks and being a mother. As you may know, labworks are not easy. Handling chemicals, experiments, loading and unloading materials- these are not just challenging, but may also be dangerous! I know some of the experiments she is doing, cause I used to do that then. All I could say is, some of the chemicals used are very, very hazardous. One of it could intercalate your DNA if it penetrates your skin. How scary is that huh? :P And science experiments sometimes require you to stand for quite long, or if not, you have to walk to several places back and forth just to finish your work.

And...taking care of a growing up toddler is another completely challenging story :)

Same goes to my bestie, Puan Wafa, who is also a 6 months expectant mother with an energetic toddler in the house. She's a student, a mother, a wife... she's amazing!

Another one is my bestie since secondary school, Teacher Te'a. I can't imagine how she handles the naughty students everyday. I can't imagine her fasting days with the duties she carries on, plus her 7-8 months baby in her womb. That hasn't include the staircases and the long walking to each class! She told me that her doctor was not in favor to let her fasting during this holy month, afraid if the baby is malnutritions. But she wants to try. And she has not fail, yet. She said she's doing good. And she is confident the baby is also good.

And I believe there are a lot more wonderful preggy mothers out there striving hard to fulfill the Ramadhan fasting. InshaAllah, all your efforts gain rewards from The Almighty Allah. Ameen.

So here, I would like to share some tips to retain energy and nutrition while fastinng:-

1. NEVER miss sahoor
2. Drink a lot of plain water. Not necessarily during sahoor. You can drink at night.
3. Don't miss your supplement. Taking obimin alone should be enough. (for 2nd and 3rd trimester)
4. Some doctor will give you calcium tablet if you cannot drink milk and take less calcium base product. So don't miss it as well.
5. Sahoor with a healthy food. So that you could have enough vitamins and minerals the whole day
6. Ingest protein base products, as it takes longer time to get digested. Why? because protein slower the movement of food to the intestine. This means, you'll feel full for longer and hungrier later. Protein also have steady effect on blood sugar. This avoids quick steep rise of blood sugar as compared to carbohydrates, thus you don't get hypoglisemic (lack of sugar) easily. Protein from vegetable, poultry and fish are the best option. But, don't take excess protein base product and leave behind other needs. Key point: Make sure you eat a healthy diet. But it's good if you could maintain taking protein products in each diet.--> This doesn't mean you won't feel hungry. What's good about fasting if you don't feel hungry? fasting = hungry = totally make sense.
7. Iftar with also a healthy diet. Make sure you don't over stuff yourself. Leave greasy and oily foods at bay. 
8. Rest whenever necessary!
9. Keep yourself confortable

Anyway, always remember that fasting is not wajib for a preggy mother. Just break-fast whenever you think you and your baby couldn't afford fasting. Don't compare yourself with others, cause your body works differently with others. Your baby also 'eats' different amount of foods than other babies :P  

Happy fasting everybody!

Haaa, tak puasa ekkk!

AllahuRabbi, it's 2 a.m. already... Jangan terlajak bangun esok pagi udah le.... Takpe, Aaron volunteer jadi jam loceng almost every morning. Hehe

Baby's safety VS Baby sale

Every wife would be very happy to know that she is pregnant. Regardless of how many times she has undergone pregnancy, each time brings the same joy to the family. However, the first time mom-to-be must be the most euphoric person on earth to have the chance to experience pregnancy. Everything must be perfect. Every detail must be in accordance to the plan.


It is totally OK to keep the whole lot in order. It’s OK to get early preparation for the new arrival of the family. But do you think it is OK to hook on baby’s preparation while at the same time the baby in the womb is taken less attention?


I am talking about one scenario that increasingly happens nowadays - Baby fair. Of course baby sale is awesome. It’s kind of a must for every mom to shop at baby fair these days. Mostly is because we can get almost everything in one roof. The price is quite reasonable though. But baby fair is always dense. The density is quite awful that you must bring along your mobile phone just in case you get separated from your company.  Cause there’s no way you could find them easily in the midst of a huge crowd.


So look at yourself, mommy. Are you fit enough to go to the fair? Will you tolerate the crowd? Can you gasp enough oxygen you have to share with other thousands of people around you? Remember, you are your baby shelter. If you are not comfortable, so does your baby.


I have a friend who is nearly in 7months of pregnancy when she first attended the baby fair. She was so excited from the day she knew about the fair. She prepared the list, the money, except for one thing; the hubby. Her hubby works thousands miles away from her for two months, starting July.The hubby was reluctant to let her go. But she insisted. She cried, begged, pleaded, until she got a feeble yes from her hubby. She’d promised to go with a friend and never let herself in trouble.


So she went to the fair with her girlfriend. It was OK at first. She bought many things for the baby. She got almost everything stated in the list. And so, she was very happy.But after 2 hours or so, she started feeling uncomfortable. The fair was getting more congested. Shoulders to shoulders, two ways had become one. She started feeling nauseas. Her feet numbed. Her ankles sore. She’d almost faint!


Her girlfriend called me anxiously, didn’t quite sure what to do. I wasn’t nearby and I couldn’t come so I just gave some simple instruction to soothe our poor preggy friend.


I was mad. Really, really mad. I know she’s excited. I know this is her first time. Of course I know. But I couldn't tolerate her safety, her baby’s safety either. She told us to keep this from her hubby, which is also our friend. That made me even mad.


To me, it doesn't matter how big the sale is and how cheap we could get for the baby’s items, but if we don’t really suit to be in the congested area like the fair, just don’t go. Yes I know she didn’t know things would turn out to be that hideous. But at least she could predict that. Of course she could. She’s 7 month old pregnant. And her husband is away. What if anything happen to her? That’s the main reason why her hubby was so reluctant to let her go.


You know, there’s always next time for baby sale. But there’s no next time for you and your baby’s safety. Same goes to the newborn baby. I still think big sale thingy is not a right place for a newborn baby.

 Wallahua'lam.

Hospital terbaik...

Oppss.. takde alliance dgn tag pd baju Aaron tu ye ;)

Menjadi lumrah untuk kita merancang di mana untuk bersalin. Jangan kata nak bersalin, nak buat monthly check up pn ada dikalangan mom & dad to be yang sangat selektif... Semua tu semata-mata untuk memastikan ibu dan baby di dalam kandungan selamat dan proses kehamilan dan kelahiran berjalan lancar.

As for myself, I memang tergolong di kalangan mommy-to-be (and now mommy) yang suka nak bergoogling dan menyebok mencari info, even sekadar nak memilih hospital bersalin. Biasalah, first time, takde pengalaman, so banyak nak kena belajar and bertanya. So penting utk dapat doktor yg baik hati nak melayan soklan banyak2 and bolh jawab dengan baik... tak dinafikan perasaan takut pun ada jugak...Ingat lagi I pernah letak criteria taknak doktor yang garang as syarat utk memilih doktor and hospital bersalin. Ntah pape kan. Heheh...

So, apa kriteria untuk kita pilih hospital untuk bersalin ye?

1. Hospital kerajaan/swasta?

I think tak kisah sangat whether kerajaan or swasta. Bergantung kepada bajet anda dan suami, and juga keinginan masing2...Some people memang suka bersalin hosp kerajaan sebab lebih 'selamat' dan 'terjamin' sekiranya berlaku komplikasi di saat akhir. Kebanyakan orang berpendapat tak berani nak bersalin hosp swasta sebab takut kalau ada komplikasi serius di saat akhir akan kena hantar govment hosp and takut gvermnt hospt tak nak terima sbb before this all the check ups buat kat hospital/klinik swasta. Sebenarnya it's not 100% true. Zaman skarang dah boleh buat check up kat mana2 klinik kerajaan/swasta, asalkan ada kad pink (yang utk monthly check up). Logik lah tak semua orang ada masa nak tunggu lama2 kat hosp/klinik kerajaan, so they opt for private clinic je... 

Cuma utk pilih private clinic tu, make sure the doc is expert in pregnancy la. Kalau dia punya ultrasound machine macam old school sangat and penerangan dia bagi tak berapa convincing, carik la klinik lain...(But thru my friends' experiences, klu nak dapat penerangan lebih bagus mmg pegi klinik swasta. Wallahua'lam I takde pengalaman check up kat klinik kerajaan)

Just my humble advice, if you wish to deliver in a private hospital, cariklah private hospital yang establish (Have O&G specialists, apparatus yang lengkap, ada makmal & blood bank sendiri, etc). Biasanya big private hosp like SDMC, Pantai, PUSRAWI, etc. Kalau boleh don't go to private clinic untuk DELIVER sebab ini yg jadi kes kalau ada apa2 komplikasi saat akhir, they don't have the equipment to settle your problem. 

P/S 1: Memang big private hosp mahal. But you can survey and compare the price. Like myself, I did the monthly check up in a nearby clinic to my house (sebab senang). The clinic even provide 4D Scan. When my pregnancy turned 34 weeks @ bila ada masalah mcm ada glucose kat urine etc, baru I check up dengan O&G specialist yang I chose untuk jadi my doc time bersalin. So that she knows about my condition earlier, and I sempat kenal and selesakan diri dgn dia. Tak tahan la kalau jumpa dia dari 1st trimester, satu kali jumpa dah dekat 2-3 ratus. Kalau ada laboratory check up (urine, darah, etc) adalah dekat RM 3-500 bergantung kpd servis.. Pehhh... 

Saat akhir sebelum ke operation theatre... Hubby bolh teman smp sini je...

2. Dekat dengan rumah @ tempat di mana kita banyak spend masa

Some people prefer tempat yang dekat dgn opis, takut terbersalin masa kat opis... Tapi most mothers akan amik cuti bersalin lebih awal sedikit daripada due... Betul tak? And what about night time? Dibuatnya nak bersalin malam hari? So I think the best hospital should be the one yang lebih dekat dengan tempat kita reside ketika menjelang hari bersejarah tersebut...

Another issue is kalau boleh, biarlah jalan nak ke hospital tu taklah jamm sangat... Takut kalau emergency, terbersalin dalam kereta pulak. Nauzubillah...

P/S 2: Hospital bagus dan canggih sekalipun, tapi kalau jauh sangat dari rumah, maybe kena reconsider, just in case emergency?!

3. Hospital rakan bayi

Apa itu hospital rakan bayi? Hospital rakan bayi basically is hospital yang menekankan keperluan bayi secara natural. Hospital ni menekankan exclusive breastfeeding. They'll provide nurses to help you and teach you how to breastfeed your baby. They won't introduce formula feeding to your baby. Biasa dengar pengalaman kawan yang bersalin, 1st day baby dia diberi formula milk dgn alasan susu ibu tak keluar lagi... Herm... So this is definitely not a hospital rakan bayi...

Oppsss, it's not a name of a hospital. Hospital rakan bayi ni kira macam label/badge yang diberi kepada hospital2 yang menyokong exclusive b.feeding. All government hosp are hospital rakan bayi, plus some private hospitals... But don't worry if the hospital nearby your house takde label hospital rakan bayi. You can inform the doc and nurse yang you nak exclusive b.feed your baby. They'll respect your decision.

4. The doctor

Some people may not really mind about this... But I think most of us do care about this... A female doctor pleaseeee...

Kalau government hosp I tak sure, but for private, you can always choose your gynea. So pilihlah hospital yang ada gynea wanita... Kalau I, even masa check up pun I dah kisah pasal ni. And Alhamdulillah I berpeluang untuk pilih doc yang solehah, baik, tenang... Before injection, dia akn recite bismillah, dalam nasihat2 dia, tak lupa untuk ingatkan kita untuk banyak mengaji, bersalawat, makan ubat, tawakkal dsbnya... Tak lokek utk share pengalaman dia bersalin (sebab I tak bajet c-sect so I ada tny better amek ubat tahan sakit or natural je, and she answer it by using her own exprience :p)

My O&G specialist plak memang rock habes... western style...Tp she's very kind. She answer all the questions very well and even boleh cerita pengalaman2 dia as doc, and I learnt a lot from her!

P/S 3: Your gynea is diff with your baby's paed. So you'll gonna have 2-3 doctors IN your labour room 1. Your Gynea, 2. Your baby's paed, 3. Your anesthetist specialist (for a c-sect mom, normal I xsure). So kalau you berpeluang pilih female paed kira bertuah la sebab dia akn bersama2 dekat labor room... U know what i mean rite? =P

P/S 4: It's good to maintain the same doctor for every check up.

P/S 5: Whatever it is, most importantly is you are confident and comfortable with the doctor. Choose for the best doctor you can afford to have. 

5. Budget

Nak pilih hospital mana mmg ada kaitan kuat dengan bajet. Just imagine average utk bersalin hospital swasta, Normal delivery = RM 2-7K, c-sect = RM 7-15K... Itu bergantung jugak kepada room charges, nursery, ntah mcm2 lagi lah... And like I said in my prev post, nak ada anak, nak pakai duit pn banyak jugak... Kalau ada rezeki lebih sikit tak pe lah nak bersalin kat private hosp. Kot la boleh claim kat company ke apa... Tp kena buang pemikiran 'the more expensive, the better' atau senang citer kalau hospital bayar of coz la lebih bagus... Tak semestinya... Kalau takde pape masalah dan bersalin normal, you would take 1-2 days je in the hospital. Kalau bersalin kat gomen hospital pun apa salahnye. Duit yang beribu riban tu allocate kat tempat lain...

Like I said, it depends on your preferential.

So?

Best hospital = Established hosp + nearby + Good doctor + Rakan bayi + suitable with budget 

Tolong Ummi kemas ye Aaron Houdd!