Say Goodbye to our baby NO.4 (missed abortion)

 وَعَسَى أَن تَكْرَهُواْ شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ وَعَسَى أَن تُحِبُّواْ شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَّكُمْ وَاللّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنتُمْ لاَ تَعْلَمُونَ 

But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not (Al-Baqarah, 2:216)

I love this verse! Isn't it a cool quote? 

Well, this ayah is actually explaining about war and jihad. But without taking the meaning of this beautiful verse out of context, we can still take it as a general reminder in our daily life, don't you think so? 

Like when we are given 2 choices in life, but we just have to choose one, especially when we end up with the less favorable one. 

Or perhaps when we are not given any choice at all, but to just accept whatever is in front of us, whether we like it or not.

Just like what is happening to us right now, where we're being tested with grief and loss.

Inalillahi wa inna 'ilaihi roji'un...

From the LMP, I was supposed to be around 13 weeks/3+ months pregnant, which I just past my 1st trimester.

But since I am using a mobile app. called FLO, I think I might be approx. 2 weeks late from my LMP, which means I might be around 11 weeks pregnant. Subhanallah, that means, I got conceived during my infertile day, only a few days before my next cycle! "KUN FA YA KUN"

However, it is difficult to tell because according to our previous check up, my pregnancy was just about 6 weeks old (which it couldn't be. I know so.... we were in London at that time. No way. Just no way.. ha ha ha)

So we concluded that maybe, just maybe, the baby had stop growing during its 6 weeks. Only that it didn't flush itself out naturally, and my body was still supporting the pregnancy all the way (I'll explain later on this) - This is called missed abortion.

Our first maternal check up was on 27th NOV 2016. The doctor did an intervaginal scan and discovered a small empty sac in the uterus. That's all. But at least I knew I was Pregnant. 

Second check up was 2 weeks later (11th Dec). There was something like a round shape in the sac, a fetus, as verified by the O&G. According to the LMP, I was supposed to be 11 weeks pregnant, but from the scan, it was just about 6 weeks. Obviously there was growth in the sac as compared to the previous scan. But ironically, the growth wasn't proportional to the LMP by huge interval. Another problem: we couldn't detect the heart beat. 

"We just wait and see.... I am not sure what kind of pregnancy I am dealing with" - O&G.

The words that I will remember for as long as I think I would!

The next day (Mon, 12th Dec) I started to bleed in my pants. At first I thought it was an after effect of the intervaginal scan. The next day (Tue, 13/12), I was still bleeding. Lesser, but then a brownish discharge took over. I was terrified but Anuar was going back to Malaysia that night. He wanted to cancel the trip but of course I said DON'T... 

I thought the bleeding would stop. I was wrong. 

I continue to 'bleed', but this time just a brownish discharge. I was contemplating whether or not to make any appoinment. I seek consult from a few doctor friends. Since it was a brownish discharge, they said don't worry too much, have rest! just please have rest! bed rest if I can! and please go to the hospital and get myself checked if there's anything that concerns me.

Unfortunately, I started to bleed fresh blood on the 17th night. On the 18th, I tried to make an appoinment with my O&G, but she's full. I ended up with another O&G on Tue (20 th), though I'd had my next appoinment with my O&G on the 22 (Thu). 

Anuar arrived on Tue morning (2 am). We went to my O&G clinic at around 11.40 am and got to see her at 2pm, walked-in. She was full that day and she was a bit upset with us because she had to catch up with a LCS case at 2! (I cancelled the other O&G due to some reasons, but mainly because I had a feeling that something was not right, so it'd be easier to refer to the one who already know your history)...

And that was when we confirmed that the baby was gone, like officially gone. 

I was bleeding fresh blood, the fetus got no heart beat (Still) and the round shape in the sac was shrinking.

The next day (21/12/2016) I was admitted to the hospital and was ordered to do D&C.... How did I feel? Like my post in my IG.

Yes. I learnt that losing a baby, even when your are a mother of 3, is still losing a baby. And a missed abortion is still a loss. and the feeling is still.....

D&C was a whole new experience to me. I went to the OT, got myself an LA (spinal anaesthetic), had to lay on bed for the next 8 hours post-surgery, fasting, peed in my bed (because they didn't put a catheter on me!) and yeah... 

It was hurt. I was hurt, physically and emotionally. But Alhamdulillah, I am fine. 

Now that I think about it, I've experienced the beginning of motherhood for each child in some sort of way... And what more to raise them, each of them with different characters and strategies (^_^')

-ELCS (elective c section) - Aaron; 

-An induced normal birth with the help of systemic pain relief AND post-delivery complication - Saraa;

-A normal-gentle birth (minimal medical intervention i.e, VE and AROM only, no pain relief)- Eve.

-D&C -(supposed to be) baby no. 4... with an anaesthetic that kinda react a lil slow in my body, hence, I felt an intense pain, I felt the suction, the cramp, the intense pain! 

-I had previous miscarriage with just a natural flush out also.

Subhanallah! 

And now, I am fine. Alhamdulillah. 

My uterus is taking its time to heal completely (pain is becoming lesser, womb is not swollen anymore). However, the spinal injection site is still hurt (bruising maybe), and I am suffering back pain in various places (the effect of anesthetic, plus I'd had an epidural 6 years ago, and yes, aging factor, I knowwwww). 

Two things that I'd never expect to happen 

1) you know some women will have difficulty to BO after delivery, Yes, I kind of having a hard BO (almost constipation), surprisingly, even though technically I didn't really deliver the baby. Maybe because I still had the cramp/contractions especially during the D&C process itself. 

2) I am producing milk and I got engorged - - -, hurt!!!! this is even more surprising because I thought I was just having a missed abortion! (but that also make sense cause missed abortion is a missed misscarriage - the body didn't recongnize that you are misscarriage, hence the placenta keeps on producing hormones.

Anyway, there are a lot of underlying stories I don't tell. 

-About why I didn't straight away go and see the doctor.

-About how I actually had a sense that something wasn't right due to some symptoms i.e. I had bad pregnancy symptoms mostly sickness. I got that a few days after London trip and I even made a 'scene' in Bahrain Airport (That's where I suspect I was pregnant) but I suddenly didn't feel nausea. I thought this time the pregnancy would be different... and in some way, yes, it was different.

-Why I didn't get bed-rest as suggested and why I can't afford to have confinement post-incident.

-What had happened in between the event...

But it's OK. At least. I'm writing up the most important parts. On how I want it to be remembered. 

And the most important part is, we are all fine. Alhamdulillah.

Aaron and Saraa have accepted the fact the we'd lost the baby. Saraa was crying when she knew about the news. It was hard and devastating to see her cry. The night after the surgery, she asked me where's the dead baby. She wanted to see it so badly and she cried when she knew she won't get to see the baby (maybe she imagine it like a fully developed baby)

Eve, well, she's still small to understand about loss, about death. Sometimes when we lay down side by side, she would rub my belly and say "Hi baby, Hi baby" and sometimes kiss (more to sloppy kiss) my belly. She did that even during the night before the surgery. That one last night with the baby in the belly. But I'm sure she'll be fine. 

I learned that, dealing with loss, regardless of any kind, is a great emotional trial. Alhamdulillah, I am surrounded with good friends and families.

So yeah, that's all about it. Almost all. Haha. 

I hope, this is one of the way Allah wipes my sins away. Ameen!

Daddy, Ummi & Adik Baby

Last monday, before kami check in di Concorde, kami sempat buat monthly check up. Alhamdulillah, adik baby dah 19 weeks++. EDD mengikut ultrasound adalah pada 22/10/12 (Akh Aaron lahir 22/2/10). Memang nombor 0,1,2 je eh? Hehe.... Tapi kalau mengikut doc, jika ditakdirkan I ni memang tak boleh bersalin normal, biasanya by weeks 36 to 38 doc akan induce dah. tak perlu tunggu 40 weeks. (Oh I was diagnosed with CPD via MRI scan during my previous pregnancy). 

Anyway, mengikut scan, perkembangan adik baby baik. Alhamdulillah, ukuran diameter skull, abdomen, semuanya sesuai. Fetus heart pun positive. Adik baby pun sama macam abang dia, kuat menendang termasuklah time doc tengah scan. Hehe... Cume untuk memastikan further health condition seperti cleft, formation of organs macam kidney, lung, liver, etc doc suruh buat check up dekat O&G specialist. Tak pe lah, yang tu nanti dulu. Ummi pun tengah survey lagi nak bersalin kat mana kalini. Hihi...

Kalau mengikut babycentre.com, by this week sensory development adik baby sudah semakin sensitif. Ummi sepatutnya kena banyak bercakap dan mengaji kepada adik baby supaya inshaAllah dapat membantu perkembangan minda adik baby....

Memang tak dinafikan pregnant anak pertama dengan kedua ni ada perbezaan. Seperti yang I dah ceritakan pada post2 yang sebelum ni, perbezaan tu more to simptom dan penjagaan. Tapi untuk kali ni ia lebih dari sekadar simptom. Kalau si abang dulu I dah ada nama dari dia belum di alam rahim lagi, tapi untuk yang ini, nama tu memang dah ada la dalam list, tapi masih samar2. Siapa cakap bila dah pernah pregnant, the next pregnancy akan jadi mudah. Yes in some way, tapi sebenarnya walaupun baru 2 tahun yang lalu I pregnant, tapi bila pregnant lagi banyak jugak I kena belajar or recall semula. OK la tu kan. Baru la rasa seronok. Hehe...

Kalau dengan si abang dulu setiap hari dia akan dengar suara Ummi mengaji (kecuali time Ummi mengelat.hehe), dan hampir setiap malam daddy akan mengaji untuk abang, tapi untuk adik baby, Daddy minta maaf sangat sebab daddy jauh. Daddy cume boleh mengaji dari jauh. Adik baby hanya dapat dengar suara Ummi mengaji untuk adik baby. Tapi tak apa, kita mengaji sama2, inshaAllah kita khatam lagi ye. 

Daddy jugak minta maaf pada adik baby sebab Daddy tak dapat nak hari2 bercakap dengan adik baby. Sebab daddy jauh. Tapi tiap2 malam bila daddy call Ummi adik baby ni macam tau pulak time tu lah dia nak menendang2 memberi respon :)

And Daddy jugak minta maaf pada Ummi sebab tak dapat jaga Ummi sebaik Daddy jaga Ummi pada pregnancy yang sebelumni. Kasih sayang Daddy pada adik baby tetap sama. Malah kami yakin adik baby akan menjadi anak yang kuat dan soleh, inshaAllah...

Sebabtulah, seboleh2nya Daddy akan cuba balik sebulan sekali walaupun hanya 3 hari shj, sebab Daddy taknak miss monthly check up adik baby. Itu bukanlah kehendak Ummi, tapi kehendak Daddy. Biarlah sesetengah orang ingat Ummi ni manja ke apa. Tapi sebagai suami dan daddy, Daddy dah berusaha yang terbaik mungkin untuk kita. Duit bukanlah boleh membeli kebahagiaan dan kasih sayang. Lagipun ini cuma untuk sementara sahaja. Tahun depan kita boleh berkumpul sama2 hari2 :)

Walaupun Ummi tak dapat menumpukan 100% perhatian kepada adik baby sebab kena berkongsi perhatian dengan Akh Aaron, tapi adik baby kena tahu yang in some other way adik baby lebih beruntung. Walaupun Daddy jauh dan Ummi sibuk, tapi hari2 Akh Aaron akan datang kiss adik baby and main2 dengan Adik Baby. Akh Aaron suka main 'tickle tickle baby'. Sometimes memanglah Akh Aaron akan lasak sikit, tapi adik beradik kenalah sayang menyayangi dan maaf memaafi ye :)

Adik baby juga beruntung sebab walaupun Daddy jauh, tapi masih ada ramai lagi yang selalu mengikuti perkembangan adik baby. So Ummi doakan adik baby sihat, dan lahir menjadi anak yang soleh dan mukmin yang berjaya. Amiinnn....

Akh Aaron Houdd pun sama. Kecik2 dah berjauhan dengan Daddy. Walhal time macamnilah waktu yang paling sesuai untuk Daddy mendidik anak2nya macam2 pelajaran. Aaron pun dah tak banyak 'Daddy & Son time' macam dulu. Tapi Daddy tetap sayang, sama macam dulu...

And for the first time after 3 months being in long distant relationship, malam ni Ummi terasa sebak sangat. Sebak sebab memikirkan betapa anak2 Ummi memerlukan Daddy nya, sama macam Ummi memerlukan suami di sisi. Untuk diri Ummi, Ummi rasa inshaAllah OK. Cuma untuk anak2 Ummi, terasa sebak rasanya... Begitu juga bila memikirkan Daddy yang hari2 sunyi sorang2 di sana. Tak dapat nak melihat keletah anak2 melihat wajah isteri. Mesti lagi pedih rasanya.

Teringat 5 hari yang lalu betapa bahagianya kita sekeluarga dapat berkumpul bersama. Teringat setiap pagi Daddy akan suapkan Obimin pada Ummi everytime after breakfast dan Akh Aaron akan berebut dengan Daddy nak bagi Ummi medicine. Teringat pada malam terakhir Daddy bersama kita Ummi dah mula demam teruk, jarang Ummi minta ubat kecuali dah teruk macam malam tu, entah pukul berapa pagi Daddy keluar belikan Ummi paracetamol. And terngiang2 suara Daddy mengaji untuk adik baby dan Akh Aaron yang sedang tidur. Semuanya Ummi teringat masa Ummi mengaji bersama adik baby tadi... Sebaknya rasa hati...

Teringat juga detik2 perit yang terpaksa kita lalui sepanjang ketiadaan Daddy. Masa Aaron demam panas, 2 malam berturut2 Ummi berkejar ke A&E SDMC. Masa setiap kali kereta buat hal, masa Ummi mabuk dan sakit belakang malam2, masa Aaron wean from BF sebulan yang lepas, masa Aaron mengamuk malam2. Ada banyak perkara yang kita lalui bertiga (Ummi, Akh Aaron & adik baby). Ada banyak juga yang dibantu oleh family. Alhamdulillah, semuanya kenangan buat Ummi...

Sebabtulah, sekarangni Ummi tak boleh berpisah langsung dari Aaron Houdd walaupun hanya untuk satu malam.... Dan Ummi selalu berdoa agar adik baby membesar menjadi anak yang soleh. Ummi bersyukur punya anak2 yang membahagiakan hati Ummi di samping Daddy yang jauh tetapi dekat di hati...

The 2nd year of life

Dear Aaron Houdd,

You are now 2 years old. Alhamdulillah, Allah has given you the opportunity to breath, to wander and learn more about life with joy. Alhamdulillah, Allah has given us the opportunity to enjoy our moments together as one happy family...

For the past two years, you've learnt a lot! Your physical has grown healthily, and your brain has stimulated more and more nerves each day! You're so expert in making us giggles and gone frenzied all at once. Yet you often be the main topic in our everyday conversation especially during dinner time, when you're not around.

My dearest boy,

You'd started your own steps when you're 15 months old, and you began running a month or two later.

You'd started to have a pocket of vocabulary much earlier....

You got your second hair cut when you're 15 months old. The third one was just last month, during our visit to Tok Teh's house in Batu Pahat. You know boy, personally, I love your long-messy hair and nobody can ever instruct me, you or daddy to do whatever they think is cool to your hair (Oh I think I'm still very obsess with your hair. Hehe)

You've become a little helper since you were as young as 16 months old. You've understood simple orders and could also give order to anybody else around :)

And you started to have serious teeth decay when you were around 19 months old. It wasn't caused by your eating habit because you don't take excess sugar and you don't have the 'empty-bottle' habit. I believe it's due to your breastfeeding habit (a prolong BF especially during sleep time at night, which cause little amount of saliva being secreted, therefore less protection to your teeth - saliva contains enzyme which is antibacterial). PLUS, YOU HATE to brush your teeth up till now! sighhhhh......

You had your first flight at your 20 month old...

And the greatest milestone achievements I could witness were during the last 4 months of your life.

When you're 20 months old, you began to make short and simple sentences. You can combine up to 3 words for a sentence.

We'd introduced reading as your daily routine since you were a baby, but you began your interest in reading much later, especially when you started to memorize words, pictures, and even by pages. When you were 18 months old, you'd started picking up your books of interest during each reading time. And when you were 20 months old, you could imitate my reading, and sometimes read back to me (in your style)! Yet you were clever enough to sometimes refuse reading sessions and wanted to substitute them with playing sessions.

And you began to memorize ABC, numbers, and Jawi at your 20 months old.  But this time, you're more to memorizing than recognizing. But you improve your skills so fast. You started to know and recognize number 1 to 10, 60% of ABC and 50% of Jawi a month later. Sometimes you made small mistakes, but it's OK honey, I make mistakes too. Sometimes I still have to sing ABC song to know which alphabet comes first :)

At your 22 months old, you're able to make animal sounds. It was so funny and cute too. We never bore to hear that! haha. 

You were also managed to memorize Surah Al-Ikhlas at your 22 months old. Although the pronunciations were a bit obscure, but it's good enough you could make an effort to memorize the chapter in the Quran that defines Allah the Almighty in the best way. And somehow, you knew that Allah is the creator of you, apple, moon, flowers, cats, and a lot more!

And when you were 23 months old, you started to create longer sentences for a conversation. Brilliant enough, the sentences that you're able to create were almost perfect most of the time. For instance, you could say "Daddy look, what happen Lola's car?" or "Daddy, move fast!" or "Ummiyo, sit at the back" or "Oh no, what happen? Car broken!". And your favorite sentence is always "Don't want Daddiyo, want Ummiyo!" Hahaha....

And now, at your 24 months old, you've mastered many skills and understand both Malay and English quite well (and al-arqam from wahid until 'asyra).

And you know to say "Hug me" to ask for a hug, or instead "Hug Ummi" to give me a very warm hug!

Yet, you still haven't start your potty training... and still benefit the breastfeeding. Big boy already, how come?! :)

Lovely boy, 

I hope you could read this 10 or 20 years later, especially during your hard time or when you are upset/down. So that when you read this, you could realize how brilliant you are, and that you are so special, especially to us, your parents.

And hope I will always remember these for the rest of my life. 

You are my baby no matter how big you are, and you are always important to me.

*Let's enjoy some photos taken yesterday (26/2/2012), during the celebration of Aaron Houdd's 2nd birthday at Tasik Raja Lumu, Shah Alam.

Mr. & Mrs. Anuar with Anuar Junior :)

The ladies from both families

Lots of love <3

Kenapa hanya susu ibu? *Exclusive breastfeeding*

Exclusive breastfeeding = Memberi baby susu ibu semata-mata. Tiada makanan/minuman tambahan lain diperlukan, termasuklah air putih/masak/jarang, air kundur/glucose, nestum, susu formula dan lain-lain. Exclusive breastfeeding biasanya bermula dari seawal kelahiran sehinggalah baby berusia lebih kurang 6 bulan.

KEBAIKAN EXCLUSIVE BREASTFEEDING:-

IBU

1. * Hormon yang terlibat di dalam penyusuan bayi adalah hormone yang sama terlibat di dalam pengecutan uterus selepas kelahiran. Jadi, dengan breastfeeding, pengecutan uterus dapat berlaku dengan lebih cepat dan ibu akan pulih dengan cepat berbanding ibu yang tidak menyusukan bayi. Lebih banyak menyusu, lebih cepat pengecutan berlaku

2. * Menghalang kenaikan berat badan mendadak terutamanya selepas kelahiran dan sepanjang berpantang. Bukan bermakna ibu yg menyusukan baby secara ekslusif takkan gemuk. Semua itu bergantung kepada cara pemakanan dan gaya hidup. Namun, penyusuan ekslusif menghalang kenaikan berat badan ibu secara mendadak.

3. * Mengurangkan risiko breast cancer. Kajian mendapati bahawa ibu2 yang menyusukan baby mempunyai risiko lebih rendah menghidapi breast cancer dan beberapa cancer lain yang sering menyerang kaum wanita

4. * Mewujudkan perasaan tenang. Dalam satu artikel berkenaan penyusuan menyatakan bahawa ketika menyusukan anak, terdapat sejenis hormone yang dihasilkan yang menyebabkan rasa rileks.

5. *Mengeratkan hubungan ibu dan anak

ANAK

1. * Perut baby yang baru lahir hanyalah sebesar guli sahaja! Ia akan membesar sebesar bola pingpong pada hari ke 10. Jadi sudah tentu perut sebesar ini tidak memerlukan makanan dalam kuantiti yang banyak. Bayi yang baru lahir TIDAK memerlukan susu yang banyak. Bersesuaian dengan jadual penghasilan susu ibu, ianya tidak akan terus banyak ketika awal kelahiran baby.MasyaAllah, sungguh sempurna ciptaan Allah!

2. * Colostrums. Ia adalah makanan terbaik bagi baby. Mengandungi kesemua nutrient yang diperlukan oleh baby, dan mengandungi antibody untuk baby menentang jangkitan kuman dsbnya – sebabtu baby yang menyusu ibu secara ekslusif lebih kuat dan tidak mudah demam!

3. * Pada usia 6 bulan pertama kelahiran, system pencernaan baby belum lagi terbentuk sempurna. Baby hanya mampu memproses dan mencerna makanan/nutrient ringkas sahaja. Susu ibu mempunyai nutrient ringkas yang mudah dicernakan oleh perut bayi. Makanan pejal & bijirin mempunyai banyak nutrient kompleks dan molekul2 yang tidak dapat dicerna oleh bayi.

4. * Kajian menunjukkan orang dewasa yang mempunyai masalah perut (sering sakit perut, gastric dan sebagainya), salah satu punca nya adalah pemberian makanan selain susu ibu dalam masa 6 bulan pertama kelahiran bayi.

5. * Makanan otak! Susu ibu mempunyai kandungan DHA yang tinggi, selain makanan otak yang lain seperti Immunoglobin (A,G,M & D), lipid, tyrosine dan lain2. Nak anak lebih cerdik? Susukanlah anak dengan susu ibu!

6. * Kurang risiko cirit birit/sembelit. Ini kerana susu ibu mengandungi agen pelawas yang dipanggil laxative. Nutrient nya juga mudah dicerna maka prosesnya berlaku dengan cepat. Kerana itu, bayi yang menyusu ibu akan kerap & mudah poo-poo.

7. * Susu ibu mempunyai pelbagai rasa! Ia mengikut apa yang dimakan oleh si ibu. Oleh kerana itu, kebarangkalian untuk anak memilih makanan ketika toddler adalah kurang. Namun, ia juga turut bergantung kepada usaha ibu bapa untuk memperkenalkan pelbagai jenis makanan kepada anak (Esp sayur!) ketika anak membesar

8. * Kandungan susu ibu adalah berubah2 mengikut keperluan anak. Kandungan susu ibu ketika hari pertama berpantang tidak sama dengan kandungannya pada ketika anak berusia 3 bulan. Kandungan nutrisinya berubah mengikut usia bayi, bersesuaian dengan keperluannya. Begitu juga, perasan tak susu ibu kadangkala cair, kadangkala pekat? Haaa... itu juga salah satu keajaiban susu ibu! Pada waktu panas, badan akan merangsang pembentukan susu ibu lebih cair (panas, anak dahaga). Pada waktu malam contohnya, susu ibu lebih pekat. So anak boleh kenyang dalam jangkamasa yang lebih lama.

Logic ke semua tu? Ada bukti saintifik ke?

Ye! Kajian terhadap kebaikan susu ibu telah lama dijalankan. Dan kelebihan2nya tidak dinafikan oleh para doctor dan pakar2 laktasi.

And semestinya logic, kerana susu ibu adalah ciptaan Allah! Allah tahu apa yang terbaik buat hamba2Nya!

Anda mempunyai kebaikan2 lain tentang susu ibu yang mahu dikongsi bersama? Silakan! J

My re-lactation experience

Most mommies that I had found claimed that the commonest reason why mommies do not fully breastfeed their babies for longer time is because of short time of milk production. Majority of moms experience breastfeeding up to 3 - 4 months only, especially for working moms.

My personal opinion of why they can succeed the first 3-4 months of breastfeeding is because of their close relation and bonding with their babies during the confinement days (see, this is the biggest clue!). When they get back to work, the production of milk is decreasing day by day due to less time is being spent with the baby, high level of stress and lack of motivation to continue breastfeeding.

I had experienced times whereby I endured shortage of milk supply _ during/because of my trip to Kyoto. Being far away from Aaron for almost 12 days had triggered enough problem for me and my dearie breastfed baby (0_0) --> please feel free to click here for the story behind this -why I have to relactate. Sedih tak sedih, tp sadis jugak laaaa. huhu

But yet, there were things that I'd done to ensure my baby dinosaur can still get my milk.

Yes, via RE-LACTATION.

Re-lactation : rebuilding of one's milk supply after lactation has stopped for a certain period of time. It can also be defined as to induce lactation. (Don't be shock to know that even an adoptive mother can re-lactate in order to produce milk even from where there was none!)

OK, let me jump to the 'what did i do for re-lactation' part first before I add on more facts later on (Before I jauh mengarut daripada tajuk post. Hehe)

1. Avoid stress - Stress is one of a major factor that can deter milk production

2. Rest! - I took few days leaves (ponteng laa senang citer) after I get back from Kyoto. Main reason was to calm my mind so that I can start re-lactation, and also to always get closer to my baby (You may also try to go for holidays or tidur kat hotel ke. Hikhik....bodek la cik abang you)

3.Keep Aaron close to me and encourage him to nurse often... This depends on your baby. Because Aaron is mommy's brat and sangat lah suke breastfeeding, he's the one who ask for it. But if you are trying to re-lactate once after your baby is getting used to bottle feeding, you might find it harder to convince your baby to nurse. But harder doesn't mean you can't. But point nu.3 is very critical to determine whether or not your re-lactation is successful because your baby is the hero in this topic. He plays a main role in re-lactation.

4. Drink lots of fluid! Tak kesah lah sampai nak terpee peee banyak kali pun, asalkan minum lah air banyak

5. Opt for pumping more frequently over lengthening individual pumping session. Maintain a regular pumping schedule. (Many moms pump on one breast while nurses the baby on the other side)

6. Eat healthily...

-Alhamdulillah, my re-lactation project was successful as the first 3-4 days, I couldn't even feel any milk had been produced, but after almost a week of trying, I started to feel more milk production. And finally, after almost 2 weeks trial, I can smile with full of satisfaction as the effort had not gone astray! Yeayewww-

Some other tips that may help re-lactation:

1. Massage

2. Consult any certified lactation consultant. You can also read more info about re-lactation so that you know some other beneficial tips that might help.

3. Supplement/mother's milk tea. A few moms are advised to take milk-inducing hormone

4. Pump after every feeding to stimulate further milk production

Alas Mommies,

Prolactin (milk-making hormone) & oxytocin (milk-releasing hormone) are pituitary (NOT ovarian) hormones. Meaning, milk production is based on supply and demand process. If the brain (pituitary) gain impulses, telling that production of milk is required, than the brain will release those hormones in order to stimulate milk production.

Those hormones are released in direct response to nipple stimulation (i.e massage, breast pump, and baby's nursing). But the most effective way of stimulating more milk production is of course through baby's nursing. So nurse as frequently as possible, build closer bond with your baby and enjoy every moment that is being spent together.

IMPORTANT REMINDER:

Be patient! You cannot expect your milk will produce over night. It might takes days, or even weeks. Don't be discouraged by mere tiny little drops after weeks of effort.... Always think of a positive side. You've tried your best, and the rest you leave it to Allah. Who knows, those times that you've spent with your baby would be among the most meaningful moments ever.

Look for other positive signs (more tender breasts, nipple changing colour, changes in libido and menstrual cycle, etc) rather than just counting on the performance anxiety, as it will only increase stress and hinder milk production!

Remind yourself that any amount of milk, even a very little one, can still benefit your baby (",)

Aaron Houdd 3 month old... Gumu-gumu Ummi & Daddy!

Mitos-mitos famous tentang lactation/breastmilk....

Baby ladybirdy tengah charge batery... (0O)

1. Susu yang mula-mula keluar daripada breast ibu adalah nanah/kotor

Pergh.... sangat salah!

Susu yang mula-mula keluar daripada ibu adalah susu yang terrrrrbaik sekali. Ia dinamakan colustrum. Ia mengandungi nutrisi lengkap yang diperlukan oleh baby, berserta antibodi yang banyak! Ia megandungi sistem imune yang tertinggi, yang melindungi baby daripada sakit dan infection... (Logik, baby baru2 keluar sangat fragile. Sebab tu susu pertama tu membekalkan imune sistem)

nota: colustrum can last up to 7-10 days in milk.

2. Breast kecik, susu pun sikit

OK. Ni tak tau nak komen banyak sangat, tapi sebenarnya tak betul sebab production susu bergantung kepada supply and demand. Lagi kerap kita susukan baby, insyaAllah susu akan banyak. So, size doesn't matter K =p

3. Ada orang boleh keluarkan banyak susu, tapi ada orang susu tak banyak (alasan paling common kenapa ibu-ibu tak breastfeed baby)

Herm... tahukah anda, bahawa kajian yang dijalankan oleh WHO menyatakan bahawa seorang ibu yang sihat boleh menyusukan sebanyak 3 orang anak in every feeding time? means, bekalan susu badan kita sebenarnya lebih daripada cukup terutamanya kalau kita cuma melahirkan seorang baby sahaja (xkembar)

Kajian tersebut juga menyatakan bahawa rata-rata semua ibu yang melahirkan anak dianugerahkan mamary gland yang boleh mengeluarkan susu yang cukup berdasarkan permintaan. Hanya ibu yang sakit sahaja yang berkemungkinan tidak berupaya menghasilkan susu yang cukup. Sakit yang dimaksudkan madalah sakit2 yang specific, yang berkaitan dengan hormon, dan penyakit wanita.... So by right kalau kita sihat, susu kita memang cukup!

So macam mana pulak susu boleh kurang sendiri?

Herm.... tu kita bincang di dalam entry akan datang ekk... Sebab tu satu lagi topik yang khusus.

4. Hamil tidak boleh menyusukan baby

OK. Ada pulak kes, ibu masih menyusukan anak, tapi disahkan hamil. Ramai orang akan suruh stopkan penyusuan kerana kesian dekat baby dalam perut. Sebenarnya, baby dalam perut takde kaitan langsung dengan susu. Baby di dalam perut takkan mendapat apa-apa effect yang negatif. Teruskanlah penyusuan seperti biasa...

Cuma yang perlu difikirkan sebenarnya adalah si ibu itu sendiri. Adakah ibu mampu untuk menyusukan anak ketika hamil? Sebab ketika hamil kondisi ibu itu sendiri yang perlu diambil kira. Yelah, dengan mabuk,tak larat, pening2, tak lalu makan lagi, so larat ke nak susukan anak?

Tapi kepada ibu yang kuat dan boleh, tahniah! memang salute and tabik spring laaa... Just jaga pemakanan sebab anda supply nutrient kepada 3 orang: Ibu, baby dalam perut, dan susu untuk abang/kakak!

5. Pam susu akan menyebabkan susu kurang

Eh, tak lah. Sekarang maybe orang dah lebih terbuka kot dan mitos ni dengan mudahnya tertolak. Tapi jangan terkejut, masih ada lagi yang berfikir macam ni, terutamanya 'makcik-makcik' kita.

Tak boleh nak salahkan dorang jugak, sebab pada zaman mereka, pam mungkin takde. Kalau ada pun tak la efficient dan canggih manggih macam skarang. Masa dulu kalau pam pun mungkin sakit. Lepastu serik, susu pun tak nak keluar dah...

Cume pada zaman sekarang yang pam dah canggih pun, kena jugak mengikut cara yang betul supaya ibu tak sakit, dalam masa yang sama, dapat perah susu dan buat stok! =p

6. Susu badan sahaja mana cukup!

Ni pun antara mitos yang top jugak la. Selalu kalau kita cakap kita bagi baby (newborn) susu ibu je, akan ada feedback cakap yang susu ibu je tak cukup/tak elok... Biasanya ramai yang suruh kita campur/selang-seli dengan air masak, air kundur, air glucose, dan lain-lain. Ni pun insyaAllah xiet akan buat satu tajuk lain iaitu kenapa hanya susu ibu?

nota: Terpikir tak kenapa susu sesetengah ibu tu cepat kering? Haaa...antara sebabnya adalah mereka tak exclusive breastfeed anak mereka. Sebab bagi campur2 la kurang demand, and susu kurang terhasil....

7. Tukar/selang-seli breast sekerap mungkin semasa menyusukan baby

Masa Xiet dalam pantang dulu, ramai jugak visitors yang menegur cara penyusuan xiet. Dorang suruh tukar-tukar breast dalam 1 feeding time. Cth, every 3-5 minutes, tukar breast. Alasannya, sebelah breast mengandungi makanan, sebelah lagi supply minuman... Pernah dengar kan kan kan? Hehehe...

Sebenarnya tak....

Dua-dua belah breast kita menghasilkan hasil yang sama = SUSU. kandungan nutrisi susu jugak adalah sama. Disadvantage kalau kita tukar-tukar adalah;

(1) Kantung susu tak kosong betul. Masih ada susu berbaki di dalam breast sebab kita bagi sikit-sikit setiap satu. So, ni jugak salah satu sebab kenapa susu supply akan cepat berkurangan (cepat kering)...

(2) Potong stim baby tu tengah minum sedap2 kita kacau! Cube kalau kita kat tempat baby tu, tak ke hangin!

Ada banyak lagi sebenarnya... Tapi ni je yang sempat buat masa ni....Maybe kawan-kawan boleh tambah di ruangan komen?! bersama-sama itu, Xiet nak akhiri post ni dengan pantun 2 kerat...

Terima kasih daun keladi,

hi hi hi...

Breastmilk vs formula....

Sedap agaknye tangkai sippy cup dia. Hehe

I've kept this topic in my brain for quite long. Better share it now, or I'll forget about it for ever =p

I asked my son's paed about which formula milk is the best for my son. Just asking in case I might need to buy him formula milk. Biasalah, dah makin lama ni, makin berkurang susu.

According to her;

* All formula milk are the same (or similar), regardless of brand, and price. The price might be differ due to its brand, local market acceptance, and MAYBE quality. But if you talk about nutrients, they are just the same. The 'impressive' advertisements are just for competing purposes. And they emphasize so much on the benefits of formula milk because they want to be at par with breast milk. Indeed, none are comparable to breast milk.

* Kalau susu dah kurang macam mana?

OK. That's the reason why we need to introduce solid food to bigger babies (6 mo and above). From newborn to 6 month old, babies gain all the nourishments from breast milk. In other words,breast milk are the main source of nutrients for young babies.

But when they grow bigger, the breast milk become the secondary source of nutrients, whilst semi-solid food (and afterwards solid/real food) are their main source of nutrients. So, bila susu ibu mula berkurang bila baby dah semakin besar, itu adalah logik dan normal. Bila baby menjangkau usia 6 bulan dan ke atas, especially when they start teething, we need to introduce them to real food (step by step) in order to preparing them to 'human' food. Logically, bila baby dah makin besar, mestilah lebih banyak tenaga diperlukan, hence lebih banyak nutrients diperlukan.

So ibu-ibu semua, keep on breastfeed you bigger baby, and at the same time give him/her solid food. That should be enough for your baby. Lama-lama nanti, susu badan pun berhenti dengan sendiri. And pada waktu tu, your baby can survive without susu badan lagik....Maybe bila dah besar sikit tahap toddler, it's OK to start formula milk just for additional nutrient.

My first breastfeeding experience

Aaron Houdd and Ummi Aaron - 1st day...

Do you still remember your first breastfeeding experience? --- Well, I do!

When my pregnancy turned to 39 weeks, I started to browse more about breastfeeding and post-partum confinement...

Everything was a first time to me (1st time pregnant, 1st time becoming a mother, 1st time delivery, 1st time breastfeeding!) - That's why I did (and still doing) a lot of research so that I know I'm giving the best for my baby...

I'd zero experience on breastfeeding but all I knew was I wanted my child to get the benefits from the breast milk, cause I knew breast milk is the best source of nutrition/nutrient a baby should get.

On 40 weeks, I was warded for delivery. I told all the nurses that I wanted to have an exclusive breastfeeding (told everybody so that they were aware of my intention! Padahal, over excited!)

I was opted for c-sect. So I'd to wait for about 3 hours after delivery to feed my baby. I was so worried if my baby was starving!

When the first time my son was brought to me for his first feeding, I was so overwhelming! Excited...But nervous! I'd read about breastfeeding techniques, but that was the time I'd to implement it in a real situation...

I still remember the hardness and difficulties....

I couldn't even moved/lifted up my body, never mind to bring my baby close to my chest. Plus, my incision site was (very, very) hurt!

But I was so determined! I knew that that particular moment was the beginning to my exclusive breastfeeding plan! If I didn't start to breastfeed my baby right away, I would never get the chance to breastfeed him for longer time in the future!

So I asked the nurse to assist me. She brought my baby to me, and thought me a football hold position (the best holding position for c-sect mother). And so, I began to breastfeed my baby...

NO sign of any milk came out!

I was panicked. I called the nurse and told her my problem....

She said 'Don't worry, just let the baby latched onto your breast, and calm down. Soon the milk will come out'

Soon? but when?

'Don't worry. Baby isn't born in hunger. He can wait. And you must calm down and enjoy the moment with your baby in order to stimulate more milk'

KEYPOINT: Latch on + enjoy the moment with your baby = stimulation of milk!

The first breastfeeding time was just an introductory session between me, the baby and the milk!

The second time of breastfeeding was at night, and my baby has taken 2 1/2 hours straight for his second time feeding. (because the milk production was very little, so he took longer time for feeding).... My incision site was so hurt I couldn't stand the pain, plus my neck and arms were fatigued.

The third day, more milk had been produced! 

Every time I recall this moment, I'll feel affected.

My son is 7 months old now, and he is still enjoying the benefits from my breast milk.... And he grows as a healthy boy (Alhamdulillah)....

Now I know that I can be proud (thankful) of all my efforts to give my son a very precious asset a mom should give to her baby - her own milk!

All good things come to those who wait...

Aaron Houdd 4 days old =p

Short but important info to share!

20:29 pm - I've just finished my work and want to lepak my mind a bit before doing some data analysis... Suddenly terfikir untuk share some info yang InsyaAllah berguna untuk semua... (Seriyes risau apalah agaknye Aaron Houdd tengah buat, sorry sayang Ummi balik lewat lagi hari ni)

1. Pneumococcal IV

It's a new (improved) vaccine, specially dedicated for kids. It protects against pneumococcal infections (Streptococcus pneumoniae), a bacteria that can cause severe diseases such as meningitis, ear infections, pneumonia, etc...

Babies can have the injection as early as 2 months old.

Price --- For me, it's a bit expensive (really really expensive actually). I'm not sure about other hospitals but in SDMC, it cost us about RM 280++ PER injection. (Including consultation etc, it's RM350++) - So, RM 350 x 4 = RM 1400...

I know all mom want the best for their kids. But unfortunately, not all moms can bear this price. We know that money can't buy health. For those yang berkemampuan, I think it's good to consider this alternative for your child's betterment.

Tapi kalau rasa kureng berkemampuan and banyak nak pakai duit... It's OK. It's just an alternative intravenous. Just maintain a healthy life for you and your family. So that kurang risiko kena infection.

For more info about pneumococcal IV, please click here.

2. Ever heard of roseola infection?

Roseola is an infectious virus that often infects infants under the age 3, but is most common in baby below one year old. It is thought to be caused by the human herpes virus six.

Symptoms:

1- Fluctuate (unexplained) high fever that can last up to 5 days (sometimes more)

2- After 24 hours (or later), a rash will appear on face, neck, shoulder, upper arms and the trunk...(When the rash subside, all other symptoms will leave also)

3- May also get diarrhea, nausea and vomitting.

4- common type of fever symptoms i.e runny nose, lose of appetite, irritability and sore throat.

Symptoms can last from 7 to 10 days. Roseola virus is highly contagious. It can be spread through contact with saliva or being breathed by another baby with roseola.

What should mommies do?

Don't worry too much Mommies!

Below are the things you should do;

-Keep your baby AWAY from other baby with rashes or fever

-Treat the fever: Give your baby a recommended dosage of paracetamol (acetaminophen or ibuprofen) but NO aspirin! - Don't bother about the name/brand too much. Just give whatever paracetamol the paed gave to your baby.

-Keep your child hydrated with plenty of liquid. If your baby is breastfeeding, make sure you consume plenty of water. BREASTFEED YOUR BABY MORE OFTEN!

p/s: The fever that Aaron had had last time was this roseola infection..... :-(