My master journey: Among the hardest path I'd chosen (PART 3)

You can read  part 1 here and part 2 here

Only hubby and me. One more ticket for mom tapi dia asthma time ni. We sengaja tak allow sesiapa family member nak datang kalau takat tunggu2 luar sebab nak cepat. haha. Macam tanak konvo je kan.

I went back to Malaysia twice to settle my thesis and study. The first time was just after a few months in Oman, as soon as I finish my drafts for 2 chapters. I didn't take long Alhamdulillah after the hard head start. No choice but to go back to Malaysia to make discussions easier. I then decided to stay until I complete thesis submission.

Sounds nice, but of course the kids followed me. So basically I had to face the exact same thing i.e. a single mom, student, and a thousands miles away wife! But family members were always there to help. I can't thank them enough, really.

I submitted my whole thesis after 2-3 drafts for each chapters. Each one with different corrections from both supervisors. The most challenging part in this phase was always to find agreement between all parties. Hahaha. But that's one life lesson worth to keep. 

For all that I'd been through, I thought my thesis would end up as a piece of crap. How can I produce a Scientific Thesis with a quality like this? I can't imagine how screwed I'd be when my supervisors and all the examiners read my work. 

But Alhamdulillah, I passed with only minor corrections! the correction that I took about less than 3 weeks to amend. 

My baby, and a piece of notes I did during my early years of study. Still keep it.

So now, is the article publication part. UM has the requirement where a Master student must publish at least one article to ISI-listed journals only. And based on my labwork grant, I have to submit to either Q1 or Q2 listed jounals only. For those who's not familiar, scientific journals are divided between Quartile 1 until 4 based on its ranks and Impact Factors, with Q1 being the highest grade (I'm not sure other fields but this applies to most Science and science-related field).

So although I had already submitted my thesis and the internal and external examiners had let me pass, I can't straight away graduate until I have a publication. 

As stated in the regulation, I can't even get my thesis for correction before I send proof of paper acceptance. Since I took almost a year to get ONE publication (Hahaha too bad, not a bombastic research), my thesis was put on hold for that entire time. That's when I multitask ehem.. for another ehem... baby- Eve Hawwa! (^_^)

My supervisor's strategy was to target the Q1 journal first. 3 attempts and all failed, I begged to her to downgrade to Q2 to make my life less like hell. Haha. I promised her to look for a decent Impact Factor (IF) although it's a Q2 (politics mannn, haha. and It worked!). Alhamdulillah, the 4th attempt of paper submission, which was my 1st attempt of Q2 journal was successful. Not so bad huh. Not bad at all. 

Oh butttt... you have to wait for sometimes to get a reply (depending on the journal's prerequisite). It can take up to a month and can even reach half a year or more just for a journal's reply! 

So, I learnt the hard way. After the 2nd failure, I didn't just opt for journals that have good IF, but also how long it'd take to process your submission. Average waiting was 2-3 months for each trial, regardless of the result; accepted or rejected! From my experience, only one of them managed to reply within a month and half. So altogether, almost a year of just waiting for paper and nothing else. 

So for whoever had asked me why I still didn't graduate while I already did nothing (neither do the labwork nor writing my thesis, this is why) 

Another tips for Science student: Always try to submit your paper once you got your result done! 

That's why there's no last minute work dude!

You got your result, do discussion ASAP and you can try to submit a paper. You'd never know how long you'd take to get it accepted.

Mine, I got my paper accepted a week or two before I delivered Hawwa! It felt like I got two babies at once. Haha!

Paper tak best pon nak tepek jugakkkkk. Haha

I emailed my sv asking permission to hold it until I deliver. UM gave 3 months for final correction and since my correction was just minor she didn't worry much.

I flew to Malaysia when baby was around 40 days old. Again I brought my off-spring to be my companion in my jihad, but this time only one- the latest bundle of joy. The other two were left with dear husband. I knew the fact that I can't take a lot of time because husband can't take long leave. I made a dateline to make it maximum 3 weeks, and Alhamdulillah, after sleepless nights and days, we made it within 2 weeks’ time. But I had to wait again till end of the year to graduate (the ceremony). I don't care at all. You know, after all that you've been through, getting things done is the biggest relief.

What a sum up! Haha. ZzzZzzzzz.

So again, is it possible to study (especially the fields that require research and labworks) and being a mommy?

Of course! But please dedicate your time for your study, like what I said in Part 1.

And it doesn't have to take so long like my case. A lot of people (moms) out there have succeeded within the anticipated years. 

Difficult?

Everything we do has its own challenges. To be realistic, yes it's difficult. It takes a lot of courage and determination to do it.

But again, it is not impossible if you want it.

It is my destiny to have this path, to be tested stage by stage, from cutting scholarship before the agreeable due time, changing of research methodology after a year of research and labworks hence the wasted data, long distant relationship with husband, to having health issues. If my life was so easy, maybe I'd not be who I am right now. I may not appreciate hardships, I may not treasure 'Ilm (knowledge) as much as I do now. Indeed, Allah knows best.

I can't thank enough to the people who have helped me throughout the journey. They were indeed the reason I succeed, of course by the wills of Allah.

And I can't deny I had relinquished a lot of my parenting responsibilities along the time I'd taken to finish my study. That's why, in this particular event, Aaron is so special in my heart because he had sacrificed a lot for me. And now that I am a full time Rabbatul Bait, I am so happy to spend my whole time with my family. No regret, in fact, truly blessed! Alhamdulillah.

Carcosa Seri Negara

My Master Journey: Among the hardest path I'd chosen (PART 2)

If you haven't read part 1 yet, Please click here .

Convocation Ceremony, 2015

The early life in Oman was challenging. We were definitely happy to be together, but at the same time the pressure was more intense. So intense that it had affected me and my being. My small family had almost lost my cheerful part in me. The unsettled business was bothering my life!

I made a decision to stop my study half-way after 3 dormant months from thesis writing. I seek consult from my husband and my close labmates. All of them let me made my own decision but they were all a bit bias to wanting me to finish my study. "You were almost there! Just two more chapters to write!" that's what they usually said.

I then decided to just go with the flow. It was really, really hard at first because I need to get myself familiar with all the terms again, get back the writing rhythm etc. The hardest part was always to juggle between being a full time stay at home mom and studying.

Most of the time I read articles and writing up thesis in between chores, play time with Aaron and generally everything else. I even wrote thesis (typing) one hand while holding my baby girl with another hand to nurse her. It was slow and I almost got lost of idea half way. Haha. That time Aaron hadn't yet go to school so you know how hard it was with a 3 years old and a baby in the house. Whenever he demands attention, either one of us would get frustrated. He, because I didn't pay attention to him and just pretending like I was listening while obviously I wasn't, and me because I can't concentrate.

At the same time, I was tested with health problem. I had problem with my left hand, which was diagnosed as Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. I can't barely move my thumb, and can't even move my wrist without great pain! Sometimes my hand would have a 'traffic jam' as Aaron called it, a condition where my nerve suddenly felt stuck, like having a spasm or cramp, with a stiff pain that I normally can't stand but to scream or cry instantly. It got worse in the morning as that's the first thing I had to deal with the moment I woke up. It took me nearly a year to fully recover. So hmmm. And yeah, I am a lefty and I had a toddler and an 8 kg baby to take care of.

Maryam Saraa being my supervisor, checking on my work every seconds, haha

Alhamdulillah sometimes I had my sisters with me. My husband asked for their favors to facilitate my affairs. At least I can have one baby with me and Aaron can play with them. Although you know, kids will always want their mom when they know their mom is around. At least someone can help with simple chores like cooking or washing dishes and did the laundry. They were so helpful they didn't act like a guess and didn't just lock themselves up in the room and play phone all the time. They helped willingly not just based on their mood. In fact, I didn't even have to ask for help! Barakallahu feehunna.

Well, a piece of advice, especially for a MOTHER: PLEASE, if you want to study, please arrange a special time for yourself to study. Make it like an office hour like 9am to 5pm to just focus on studying, or at least half of that time, everyday!

You need that, trust me. In fact, that is your right as a student. You can have the rest of the other time in your 24 hours to be a mother, a wife, or whatever hat you have to put on.

I didn't have that privilege. So I had to have strategies.

Sounds very intelligent.

BUT...I honestly didn't really have any! Hahaha.
Except, just as what I have mentioned earlier. Only, normally on weekend (Thursday and Friday) nights, I would stay up all night to write, and only sleep a few hours after Fajr Prayer, or until my baby needs me.Why? Because my husband was not working on the weekends so at least he can take care of the kids while I took my nap.

That's how I did it. Not fancy at all. Hahaha.

OK. I'm getting too long now. 

Let's continue part 3 here .

Life as an expat in Muscat (Part 2)

During my early days staying here, I didn't know much about the life and culture of the Omanis, although we live in an area where I can consider as local area because 95% of our neighborhood are local people.

According to my husband, most of our neighbors are senior government servants, hence the laid-back and safe atmosphere. Although I don't know most of my neighbors (the wives mostly spend their time at home or work or outside with friends *you would only see housemaids running errands and escorting small kids to the playground* and some of them don't really speak English, and I am also an introvert that stays at home most of the time), but they are OK. Well, at least nobody has ever bothered us. 

Honestly, at first, I preferred to live in The Wave (about 10 mins driving from our house). It is a high-end residential area where most of the dwellers are expats (mostly the Westerners) and modern Arabs. I like the place not because of that, but because of its accessible facilities (Private beach, playgrounds, grocery store, gym, pools, and a lot of eateries all in one place). The only constraint is, of course, the budget. Haha. Sorry to reality, we are not that rich! (not yet, one day inshaAllah!). 

But then... I came to realize that, the kind of life I am having right now is actually the best for our family. 

2. A Relax place to raise kids

Yes, this is why. Here, I don't have to worry too much about my kids' safety. I can even let my 6 years old Aaron cross the road and buy stuff from the shop nearby all by himself if I want to, just like the local kids here (which I haven't try yet, and maybe not now, thank you. Hahaha) 

Basically, the environment here is similar to our childhood era (back in the late 80's or early 90's) where we were free to ride bicycle to our friends' houses, walked to the small shops nearby and happily play outdoor games with friends all day long and only went home at Maghrib time.

We have nearby playground with a very basic facility but enough to let the kids enjoy their afternoon. We have small stores across the street where I don't really buy stuff there but is surely handy whenever I suddenly realize that I ran out of eggs, or milk. (but I hate it when the kids especially Saraa crying for ice cream that she can just watch from the window to see whether the shop is already open).

Somewhere in 2015, our neighborhood. Photo taken from the window. A kampung environment, only no wooden houses here. Because, they don't built house using woods.

And the best part is, I loveeeeee to see the local boys with their dishdasha (man's traditional attire/dress/jubah) marching to the mosque in front of our house during every prayer time. They are as small as 5 or 6 to teen ages and they go there by themselves, without having to wait for their father. It is simply a pleasant scene for me. The number will increase during school holidays and Ramadhon. And even ramadhon, we will see cars filling up the side road even during Fajr and noon prayers. I learned that they can sometimes be really naughty. I saw once or twice they threw medium sized stones to each other as a game, on the way back from Solat. And yes they sometimes can be very harsh and loud!. But I love the fact that here, they teach the boys to go to mosque during prayer times, irregardless! And when Azaan Maghrib, they know to go home. It is just like a kampung life style, isn't it!

Actually, not all residential areas are like this. There are places similar to Damansara, Bangsar, etc, in terms of its convenience and density. I only refer specifically to our neighborhood. But overall, we Malaysians agreed that in general, the safety here is better than in Malaysia.

I guess I would never experience this if I stay in the expats' area. I am thankful to have this opportunity. It is a life lesson and indeed an experience worth to keep. But if my husband ever ask me again whether I want to move to The Wave or Madinat Qaboos and the likes, I would definitely say Yes! Hahaha. Well, at least I can learn something new over there right?!

                          
Overall, I am just thankful and grateful. Our house is still easily accessible to a lot of places: 3-5 mins to Muscat City Center Mall and hospital, 5-10 mins to Vegetables and Fruits Market that sells our favorite coconut juice, 10 mins to The Wave for eateries, 10 mins to beach, 15-20 mins to Wadi Al-Khoud (ala-ala river), nearby to the best mishqaq stall (traditional zanzibari skewers), 5 mins to Sahwa Park- a big public park with a lot of flowers and playgrounds and most importantly, only a few steps away to the mosque - rajin tak rajin je orang lelaki dalam rumah ni nak pergi! hihihi.

So well, this is the snippet of our life as an expat here. InshaAllah  in the next entries, I will share my insight about the Omanis and the Malaysians living here

On the way to our house. Big/main road to our residential area. Quiet kan? But during weekdays busy juga during peak hours

End of winter and beginning of summer, April 2016

Life as an expat in Muscat (part 1)

"I only need 2 weeks in Kyoto to see the beauty in it. But it took me 2 years to do the same to Oman"

That was my testimonial on my second year living in Oman. Perhaps I took too long to adjust. Or maybe I focused so much on domestic issues like (the most obvious) how people here tolerate patience and the F1-excellent-driving skills they have!

Here, getting honked by vehicle behind you right after the traffic light turns green is just like music to your ears. Watching people quarreling about a parking spot is also normal (We have had an experience with a very very rude parking lot steal-er too!). Oh, the most ordinary scene here is that you'll find gigantic-expensive vehicles parked ON the pavement/sidewalk. Also, people here multitask a lot during driving! I wonder whether or not they notice that their expensive cars are equipped with bluetooth app for hands-free!

Well, if I were to compare between Muscat and Kyoto, that is so not an apple to apple comparison. Like, come on! We all know that Japanese are among the most discipline people in this world. You nak compare with the arabs? Hahahaha - evil laugh (I hope no arab ever read this). But if you want to compare between Oman and our beloved country, and Omanis and Malaysians, that one sure can loh!

But to tell you the truth, Oman is actually the nicest country among the GCCs and other Arab countries!

*Looks like someone's in love with this country already! haha*

As a start, there are a lot of things I like about Oman:-

1. Beauty and nature

"Beauty has an address"

This tagline is made to advertise Oman for its tourism...And yes it is true.

You can find beaches everywhere, even in Muscat (the capital of Oman). They are open beaches so do not expect for any toilet or changing rooms. The beach nearby our house is actually a fishermen's area but it is till nice and people still come for activities. They are also some beaches that accommodate recreational purposes such as for picnic, BBQ and gatherings, hence some simple huts were built. 

Recently I went to Surr (outside Muscat). It was about 2 hours driving from home and we were simply entertained by nature along the way! Oh I love the ombre colour of the beach, the coastal, different colour of rock mountains, and even the goats, donkeys and camels that contribute to spectacular nature scenery. 

this photo was taken on our way to Sink Hole. just the beach along the way.

Another pit stop with amazing scenary, somewhere in Surr

Other than beach, Oman is famous with its wadis (a valley that is dried at most place but has small amount of water stream). People love to do wadi bashing or camping there. However, during rainy days, wadi can be the most dangerous place for people.

Mountains are also popular as tourist attractions. We have two most popular mountains, which are Jabal Akhdar and Jabal Shams. 

Jabal Akhdar, credit photo to Mr. Hubby

And not a lot of people know Oman has cherry blossoms in Wekan Village. Though you have to do some off-road and walking a few kilometers to reach the destination, it's all worth the effort!

There are other beautiful places to visit in Oman such as Salalah, Nizwa, Wahiba Sand, some villages and whatnot. But one can only appreciate this country and its nature if you are a nature lover. If you love shopping, tall building, etc, than this is not the place for you.

Oh anyway, you will not find sophisticated buildings in Oman, even in Muscat; its capital city. Most of the buildings, especially the government offices, still preserve the Arabic architectural at least to its minimum level.  

And Muscat is a clean city. Truthfully, it is not because of the people here. If not for the municipality, I don't think this place could be this clean. But I salute the government for taking cleanliness as serious issue. 

As-Sahwa Park, Mawaleh South (about 3-5 minutes driving from home)

Sink Hole, Najm Park

Al-Hazm Castle, Rustaq

Grand Mosque, Muscat. credit photo to Mr. Hubby

I think I'm getting too long if I continue here. In shaa Allah I'll continue in the next entry :)

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Oh my, what a formal essay! When I re-read this, I imagine myself holding a hailer in front of a bunch of old people with cameras and maps in their hands (tourist laaa), and reading this outloud! Urghhh... my writing is getting worse, and so does my language skill!