My master journey: Among the hardest path I'd chosen (PART 3)

You can read  part 1 here and part 2 here

Only hubby and me. One more ticket for mom tapi dia asthma time ni. We sengaja tak allow sesiapa family member nak datang kalau takat tunggu2 luar sebab nak cepat. haha. Macam tanak konvo je kan.

I went back to Malaysia twice to settle my thesis and study. The first time was just after a few months in Oman, as soon as I finish my drafts for 2 chapters. I didn't take long Alhamdulillah after the hard head start. No choice but to go back to Malaysia to make discussions easier. I then decided to stay until I complete thesis submission.

Sounds nice, but of course the kids followed me. So basically I had to face the exact same thing i.e. a single mom, student, and a thousands miles away wife! But family members were always there to help. I can't thank them enough, really.

I submitted my whole thesis after 2-3 drafts for each chapters. Each one with different corrections from both supervisors. The most challenging part in this phase was always to find agreement between all parties. Hahaha. But that's one life lesson worth to keep. 

For all that I'd been through, I thought my thesis would end up as a piece of crap. How can I produce a Scientific Thesis with a quality like this? I can't imagine how screwed I'd be when my supervisors and all the examiners read my work. 

But Alhamdulillah, I passed with only minor corrections! the correction that I took about less than 3 weeks to amend. 

My baby, and a piece of notes I did during my early years of study. Still keep it.

So now, is the article publication part. UM has the requirement where a Master student must publish at least one article to ISI-listed journals only. And based on my labwork grant, I have to submit to either Q1 or Q2 listed jounals only. For those who's not familiar, scientific journals are divided between Quartile 1 until 4 based on its ranks and Impact Factors, with Q1 being the highest grade (I'm not sure other fields but this applies to most Science and science-related field).

So although I had already submitted my thesis and the internal and external examiners had let me pass, I can't straight away graduate until I have a publication. 

As stated in the regulation, I can't even get my thesis for correction before I send proof of paper acceptance. Since I took almost a year to get ONE publication (Hahaha too bad, not a bombastic research), my thesis was put on hold for that entire time. That's when I multitask ehem.. for another ehem... baby- Eve Hawwa! (^_^)

My supervisor's strategy was to target the Q1 journal first. 3 attempts and all failed, I begged to her to downgrade to Q2 to make my life less like hell. Haha. I promised her to look for a decent Impact Factor (IF) although it's a Q2 (politics mannn, haha. and It worked!). Alhamdulillah, the 4th attempt of paper submission, which was my 1st attempt of Q2 journal was successful. Not so bad huh. Not bad at all. 

Oh butttt... you have to wait for sometimes to get a reply (depending on the journal's prerequisite). It can take up to a month and can even reach half a year or more just for a journal's reply! 

So, I learnt the hard way. After the 2nd failure, I didn't just opt for journals that have good IF, but also how long it'd take to process your submission. Average waiting was 2-3 months for each trial, regardless of the result; accepted or rejected! From my experience, only one of them managed to reply within a month and half. So altogether, almost a year of just waiting for paper and nothing else. 

So for whoever had asked me why I still didn't graduate while I already did nothing (neither do the labwork nor writing my thesis, this is why) 

Another tips for Science student: Always try to submit your paper once you got your result done! 

That's why there's no last minute work dude!

You got your result, do discussion ASAP and you can try to submit a paper. You'd never know how long you'd take to get it accepted.

Mine, I got my paper accepted a week or two before I delivered Hawwa! It felt like I got two babies at once. Haha!

Paper tak best pon nak tepek jugakkkkk. Haha

I emailed my sv asking permission to hold it until I deliver. UM gave 3 months for final correction and since my correction was just minor she didn't worry much.

I flew to Malaysia when baby was around 40 days old. Again I brought my off-spring to be my companion in my jihad, but this time only one- the latest bundle of joy. The other two were left with dear husband. I knew the fact that I can't take a lot of time because husband can't take long leave. I made a dateline to make it maximum 3 weeks, and Alhamdulillah, after sleepless nights and days, we made it within 2 weeks’ time. But I had to wait again till end of the year to graduate (the ceremony). I don't care at all. You know, after all that you've been through, getting things done is the biggest relief.

What a sum up! Haha. ZzzZzzzzz.

So again, is it possible to study (especially the fields that require research and labworks) and being a mommy?

Of course! But please dedicate your time for your study, like what I said in Part 1.

And it doesn't have to take so long like my case. A lot of people (moms) out there have succeeded within the anticipated years. 

Difficult?

Everything we do has its own challenges. To be realistic, yes it's difficult. It takes a lot of courage and determination to do it.

But again, it is not impossible if you want it.

It is my destiny to have this path, to be tested stage by stage, from cutting scholarship before the agreeable due time, changing of research methodology after a year of research and labworks hence the wasted data, long distant relationship with husband, to having health issues. If my life was so easy, maybe I'd not be who I am right now. I may not appreciate hardships, I may not treasure 'Ilm (knowledge) as much as I do now. Indeed, Allah knows best.

I can't thank enough to the people who have helped me throughout the journey. They were indeed the reason I succeed, of course by the wills of Allah.

And I can't deny I had relinquished a lot of my parenting responsibilities along the time I'd taken to finish my study. That's why, in this particular event, Aaron is so special in my heart because he had sacrificed a lot for me. And now that I am a full time Rabbatul Bait, I am so happy to spend my whole time with my family. No regret, in fact, truly blessed! Alhamdulillah.

Carcosa Seri Negara

My Master Journey: Among the hardest path I'd chosen (PART 2)

If you haven't read part 1 yet, Please click here .

Convocation Ceremony, 2015

The early life in Oman was challenging. We were definitely happy to be together, but at the same time the pressure was more intense. So intense that it had affected me and my being. My small family had almost lost my cheerful part in me. The unsettled business was bothering my life!

I made a decision to stop my study half-way after 3 dormant months from thesis writing. I seek consult from my husband and my close labmates. All of them let me made my own decision but they were all a bit bias to wanting me to finish my study. "You were almost there! Just two more chapters to write!" that's what they usually said.

I then decided to just go with the flow. It was really, really hard at first because I need to get myself familiar with all the terms again, get back the writing rhythm etc. The hardest part was always to juggle between being a full time stay at home mom and studying.

Most of the time I read articles and writing up thesis in between chores, play time with Aaron and generally everything else. I even wrote thesis (typing) one hand while holding my baby girl with another hand to nurse her. It was slow and I almost got lost of idea half way. Haha. That time Aaron hadn't yet go to school so you know how hard it was with a 3 years old and a baby in the house. Whenever he demands attention, either one of us would get frustrated. He, because I didn't pay attention to him and just pretending like I was listening while obviously I wasn't, and me because I can't concentrate.

At the same time, I was tested with health problem. I had problem with my left hand, which was diagnosed as Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. I can't barely move my thumb, and can't even move my wrist without great pain! Sometimes my hand would have a 'traffic jam' as Aaron called it, a condition where my nerve suddenly felt stuck, like having a spasm or cramp, with a stiff pain that I normally can't stand but to scream or cry instantly. It got worse in the morning as that's the first thing I had to deal with the moment I woke up. It took me nearly a year to fully recover. So hmmm. And yeah, I am a lefty and I had a toddler and an 8 kg baby to take care of.

Maryam Saraa being my supervisor, checking on my work every seconds, haha

Alhamdulillah sometimes I had my sisters with me. My husband asked for their favors to facilitate my affairs. At least I can have one baby with me and Aaron can play with them. Although you know, kids will always want their mom when they know their mom is around. At least someone can help with simple chores like cooking or washing dishes and did the laundry. They were so helpful they didn't act like a guess and didn't just lock themselves up in the room and play phone all the time. They helped willingly not just based on their mood. In fact, I didn't even have to ask for help! Barakallahu feehunna.

Well, a piece of advice, especially for a MOTHER: PLEASE, if you want to study, please arrange a special time for yourself to study. Make it like an office hour like 9am to 5pm to just focus on studying, or at least half of that time, everyday!

You need that, trust me. In fact, that is your right as a student. You can have the rest of the other time in your 24 hours to be a mother, a wife, or whatever hat you have to put on.

I didn't have that privilege. So I had to have strategies.

Sounds very intelligent.

BUT...I honestly didn't really have any! Hahaha.
Except, just as what I have mentioned earlier. Only, normally on weekend (Thursday and Friday) nights, I would stay up all night to write, and only sleep a few hours after Fajr Prayer, or until my baby needs me.Why? Because my husband was not working on the weekends so at least he can take care of the kids while I took my nap.

That's how I did it. Not fancy at all. Hahaha.

OK. I'm getting too long now. 

Let's continue part 3 here .

My Master Journey: Among the hardest path I'd taken (PART 1)

Two of my sisters are graduating this month! Congratulations. Brakallahu lakuma.

Last year, my other sister and I shared the same graduation year of our Masters Degree. She's in education, I was in Science.

...A celebration I'd rather choose to ignore at first. If not because of my husband who insisted we went back home and attended the convocation, my plan was to go for a vacation nearby, within Muscat is fine, and celebrate it just the 5 of us. It seems not worth the money to just go back for a day event all the way from Oman. But he insisted, reason being, I had worked hard for it, and it had given tremendous impact on our small family- The obstacles, tears, and sweats, the sacrifices, etc.

But Allah had a better plan for us. My husband was given a task in Malaysia for a week, and my graduation day was happened to be on Saturday morning the same week. We flew back to Oman that Saturday night.

You know, I've been wanting to have a special post about my master journey. I've been dreaming to write about everything precious along the journey and mannn I've waited for so long!

Even if I have the highest education certificate the world can offer, I am still a mother and my kids are my priority. 

I've been asked a lot of time how was it possible to be studying and taking care of children, especially towards the end of my Master journey where we were miles away from my school and family and without a helper. All at once. How did I do that?

People around me either think that I am a supermom, or a pathetic (not so) young woman who's trying soooo hard to fulfill her dream (or just say finish what she has started long ago).

But Alhamdulillah, I had positive surroundings and good support. (I chose to stay around positive people actually. Truth hurts, I know)

To say that I had no helper at all is actually not precisely correct. Honestly, I could never in million years finish my study without the help of people around me, directly or indirectly, especially some of my labmates and my own family members. I took care of Aaron in his 1st six month. I took a semester break. His Onni took care of him after that during the time I had to go to school and did my labworks. In the weekends, my husband helped take care of him or all of us would have a party in my lab. And when I was in Oman, some friends helped with the admin stuffs. Ijah, if you read this, I want you to know that I owe you so much! Barakallahu feeki.

During school holidays my sisters will take turn to come over to our house in Shah Alam to play with Aaron and helped me with chores. Having them in the house had made our days (especially Aaron) brighter. At least some one can play with him while I was busy in my own journal-reading world.

During my second pregnancy, I was miles away from my husband for almost a year. Life got tougher without him especially when juggling between motherhood and student life. I had started writing my draft while still doing my labworks (few re-arrangements and last minute changes I can't avoid). And my pregnancy symptoms were really bad. Nevertheless, I still had to go to the lab in the days and stayed awake most of the nights for writing. I slept for about 3-4 hours most of the time. With that and my pregnancy condition, mannn I was over-exhausted.

During the first few months of my LDR with my husband, Aaron was in the phase of weaning off . It was hard, really hard until my dad tak sampai hati and a lot of time asking me to just abort the mission. He was around 2 years and half and I was around 4-5 months pregnant so like it or not, I had to go ahead. I was trying to potty train him as well and I just couldn't take the stress out of it, so I aborted the  potty train mission.

I managed to finish my labwork before I follow my husband to Oman, not long after I delivered Saraa. Husband went back to Oman after paternity leaves and I had to finish my final tasks before following him there. I had post-delivery complication that took me more than an average time to heal. But I did come to the lab for final works, meeting ups and discussions during my last period of confinement. Technically speaking, I didn't really pantang pon

But this time the challenge was harder because I had two children already. I had to be very strict with timing. No lunch break most of the time and straight away home after work. But you know labwork, sometimes it takes a solid 6 hours for just an experiment! And some even take days to get just a result. But yes I didn't go on everyday basis.

Maryam Saraa being my supervisor, checking on my work every seconds, haha

For Part 2, Please click here. Thank you! eceh! ^_^

A dedication to all mothers in the world :)

Maryam Saraa's Aqiqah goodies tags.

"We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth" (46:15).

Everyone knows that a mother is the pillar of a family. She's everything to her family. You see, when we say everything, that includes being a mom, a friend, a doctor, a teacher, a chef, a housekeeper... Best description - a runner.

Being one person in many positions? Oh that's terrific! And don't forget to sum up all the wifey job! (^__^)

How many of us moms have to wake up early in the morning and don't even have time to have a nice proper breakfast because we have loads of things to settle in a very stiff hours? -bathe the kids,  prepare breakfast, hubby, prepare to work, send kids to nursery/school... yada yada yada...

How many of us sometimes can't even grab a single glass of drink when kids throw tantrums, fighting, or got hyperventilated/sugar rush etc?

And how many of us, sometimes crying quietly somewhere in the kitchen while preparing something because we are too tired or hurt, or maybe crying out loud alone in the car because we got frustrated with the kids behavior, asking ourselves what have we done wrong? Which parenting part did we relinquish? And then, reminiscing the good old days when the kids were smaller, on how beautiful they were as a small creature, and how we had showered them our undeniable, unquestionable love. Thus, hoping for something impossible like how we wish our growing teenagers to act less complicated just like when they were smaller.

Or maybe crying while having a shower, contemplating ourselves, hoping that one can understand how tired we are, how weak, hopeless kind of mom, and getting frustrated of our inability to stay stronger.

Alas, mothers, you are indeed not alone. If you think your inner voice is unheard, your loved ones aren't really care about how you feel and you sometimes behaving a wee bit emotional, just take a deep breath, take some moment to be alone and keep your head. Coz that's just part and parcel of motherhood. Other moms face the same thing too. Yes, we moms understand each other better. And we know that those sappy feelings are uninvited yet free to come but won't take long to leave.

Being a mother is like taking a full time job that doesn't allow you to resign. It is a restless, exhausting job with loads of responsibilities. Your working hour is from the moment you open your eyes until when you close them back to sleep. That doesn't include working extra hours pass your sleeping time due to fever bugs in the house, or finding solution for some family dilemma or for any other reasons only you know. 

Behold, 

For every difficulty a mother has to endure, every challenge that may seems so hard to tackle and every big responsibility she has to carry, being a mother is one of the most dignified profession in this world and in the hereafter. And it is surprisingly the coolest position you may have experienced. Despite all the unwieldiness, the never ending demand from the loved ones, and the craziness one could turn out to be when she becomes a mother (hehe), there are myriad pleasure you'd grasp throughout your motherhood experiences. And no matter how hard life would be, you'd stand tall and survive. You know why? Because you let yourself Redha with the sacrifices you've made and You lay your love on everything you do. You mothers, are indeed so super special and super strong!  

And if at any moment you feel unappreciated, alone, disgrace, exhausted.... Remember that as long as you Redha and Ikhlas, this is one of the many ways that can grant you Jannah!

It's a free ticket for us moms to enter Jannah!

And just to revitalize our spirit, sort of emboldening our motherhood vibes, lets remind ourself about the greatest reward that every heart's desires; THE JANNAH. 

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet, said, "Allah said, 'I have prepared for My pious worshipers such things as no eye has ever seen, no ear has ever heard of, and nobody has ever thought of. All that is reserved, besides which, all that you have seen, is nothing." Then he recited:-- 'No soul knows what is kept hidden (in reserve) for them of joy as a reward for what they used to do.' (32.17) (Book #60, Hadith #303 of Sahih Bukhari) 

*Now, imagine the best thing we'd ever want in this world, the best place we've ever been/imagine, the happiest moment you've ever had in your memory..... Jannah offers you so much more and it's beyond comparison.

These two ahli syurga are my syurga dunia.

A note from The Sultan Qaboos's country

It's been 9 days we are here - away from our beloved country, family and friends.

And here's what I really want to tell:

Following my hubby abroad, giving him chance to groom his career while I, a master student, have to sacrifice on my dream career- being a full time housewife, taking care of the kids and hubby, writing thesis, doing chores, repeating routines, giving in my social life - friends, fav places to hang out, etc... is one very tough decision to make.

and above all, it may seem so unfair. 

But here's the deal. Long distant relationship is full of crap, at least for us. Yeah we never like it and as far as we know, nothing else would content a happily married couple than being together. Together in hardships, sorrow, pain, struggles in life, and also in happiness, joy, laughter. 

An eleven months LDR experience has taught me a lot. It has changed some part of me and my perceptions too. Going down the lane on how I had to struggle being a single mom to my kids was a heartbreaking for both of us. Never will I forget the moment where I had to carry a 14 kg toddler with  high fever to the hospital at 11pm while I was carrying another human being inside me. Waiting in the A&E with few visits to toilet due to morning sickness. Not to forget the moment I had to drive to UM by myself to complete my labworks, each time was so challenging also due to pregnancy symptoms mainly nausea. How was I going to vomit in the forever congested traffic at Federal Highway, and I remember one time I almost got cramped leg while I was stuck in a bad traffic. Not to mention the frustrations of couldn't share the bad news to my most trusted person right after receiving it, never mind to have my head on his shoulders.

And there were my counting days- a few minor surges and false alarm without my hubby by my side. Fighting over the possibility of hubby might not come back during delivery through phone calls, having postpartum complication and again, hubby wasn't around. And more sick kids- both Aaron and Saraa, all without the Daddy, the one we always need to be around.

Even if all those tests didn't appear, the need of a best friend when we were in despair, the touch of  the loved one when we were in pain and the giggles and the face that had budding loneliness when he's not around was killing enough. 

And for me, that is not all. One thing that worried me was the feeling of 'It's OK' that grew bigger day by day. You know, when we used to do things on our own and we deliberately getting used to it, and we think we can handle things all by ourselves. Hah, sometimes it freaked me out cause I sometimes had to ask myself whether or not I still love my hubby. Well of course the answer is yes, but you know, because we rarely do things together anymore, I sometimes didn't seem to bother if he didn't call me even once for the day. Lagi2 lah he was busy and different time zone also contribute to the limitations. I sensed this mostly during our last period of LDR few months before I followed him here. Wouldn't a wife supposed to wait for her hubby's call and if there was, she should be so happy to pick up the call? No? I was the opposite. If I had fast asleep I won't bother a call from him although that considered our first chat of the day. And sometimes during the conversation I can multi task with instagramming, Facebooking, or anything else depending on the time. Wasn't 100% focusing on him. So yes, I didn't like that. I was seen as a bad wife.  

Moving here, I'd left many unsettled things but bring them along to inshaAllah, settle them from here, step by step. Capitulate on my dream career and struggle to finish my responsibility as a student , Only Allah knows how am I going to survive here, what way suits me best, and which direction I will eventually choose. I may have to undergo many obstacles, failures, frustrations, and discouragement regardless of how mature the decision we'd made. But in the end, I know whatever it is, this is my destiny.

So now, we are back together again. I pray to Allah that we won't have to face the same test again, inshaAllah. Being together doesn't mean end of story and everything will go smooth. Our life here has just begun, so that means more upcoming challenges, more tests and more surprises. But as long as we are together, I hope we can handle life as we supposed to do, the best we can.

Thank you for your never ending thoughts, du'a and encouragements. Only Allah can repay all your good deeds.

Maryam Saraa 3months old in this photo. Amik dari instagram je malas nk upload lain.hehe

News

Assalamualaikum

My first entry in this new year. Hmmm let see... No story about my last year's achievements, no post about this year azam. Nope.

I always have the angan angan to change my blog template. Im having this dream since forever already coz I think this template doesnt reflect my blog anymore. and myself too... tapi malas nak buat.

(entah hapa2 tiba2 cakap pasal blog template)

OK OK. now. Dear friends, I am here to announce that I am currently happily counting my days to step my feet into our home in Oman, real soon! Weehooo... sape tak suke wei dapat reunite dengan hubby terchinta! dengar cerita dia kat sana ramai peminat. dari minah arabs yang cun melecun lagi (dengar cerita dari dia seorang aje. haha) 

Soon mean, soon! like approximately a month from now. Yes! 

It has been almost a year we're being apart. and its not fun at all. I dah a few times kena ngorat kat Mall padahal bawak baby and jugak pernah kena approach ngan sales person from CIMB pasal kredit kad and dia tanya encik abg mana ? when I jawab "takde" his expression was like "Oh. Im sorry to hear that" - hmmm... so korang paham2 kan apa maksudnya? bukan maksudnya I masih hawt. (hehe) tapi maksudnya macam I ni 'single mom'. (yes i am a single mom but in different interpretation OK)

Actually ada banyak benda yang I tak settle lagi kat Malaysia ni. Plan memang dah banyakkkkk sangat lari. Sampai I pon dah malas nak planning lagi but just follow my gut. inshaAllah kat mana2 pon challenges tetap ada tapi  I think you would never resist the feeling of comfort when hubby is around. I guess all the LDR friends would agree with this. tak kisah macam mana kuat kita sekalipun, or macam mana dah terbiasa kita sekalipon kita nak handle daily routine, tapi kalau hubby is around, it is extraordinary!

So now I tengah busy settle pasal shipment. I have only like 2 weeks untuk list down n settle everything yang nak bawak ke Oman, kargo tentatively will arrive on 26th Jan. Banyak giler kot nak kemas tapi I tak start apa lagi. Haha.

Pastu nak buat Aqiqah Maryam Saraa and farewell inshaAllah. So ni pon nak kena proper plan sebab tak buat kat rumah, Plan nak buat kat Masjid Negeri kalau place masih available untuk tarikh yg kita plan tu. Since hubby is far away, so I am the lady in charge la untuk 2 major events ni (shipment and kenduri). Oh family kitorang amat ramai. so nak buat kecik2 pon kena bajet untuk ramai. hadoyai...

My thesis writing? Ahhhh... last time target nk pergi Oman dengan hati yg rileks selepas settle semuanya. Tapi dah malas dah nak target. Awal Dec I was so excited for the new change of plan made by my sv, hujung bulan dec pulak down balik sebab so happen berlaku lg 1 berita yg kurang best yg menyebabkan I still cannot lepas dari lingkungan kegelapan masalah I ni. So now, decided to continue anything yg berbaki di sana. I know would be moreee challenging sebab I'd b all by myself utk take care of kids and do all the chores, macamner ntah nk maintain energy utk writing. (I had experienced being a full time mom with heavy beban of thesis back in Dubai so I boleh rasa aura penat nya nanti)

Anything else?

eRM... Aaron Houdd is being Aaron. still the same. banyakkkkk idea dia nak menjawab kalau kita cakap. last time dia boleh cakap Ummi dia macam Pingu kalau marah. Noppp nooppp... aduh.

Maryam Saraa. Now dah 2months lebih. almost three. cepat je masa berlalu. Dia tengah demam ni. I pon tengah sakit kepala and terkehel urat tangan kiri. quite challenging as I am a lefthander. (-__-)

Oh now I am so into Instagram. Haha. ketinggalan zaman kan. terok tol. alah, I started FB pon after my moms and niece and nephew yang bawah umur pon dah ada FB. apa nk heran. but yeah...quite addicted with IG la sekarang. bahaya bahaya...

My style now is I update my IG and share selected photos on FB. Tak bukak FB pon. so nampak mcm I sgt update semua. Haha. untungla banyak masa ye tak...(tertipuuu)

Tp I perasan bila hubby takde ni I kerap jugak la on FB n Ig. sbb semua kan mobile. so tak payah spend masa banyak2. u can just log in and check out any update every now and then. I akan like and komen simple2 kalau ada masa. alah Like bukan amik masa bnyk pon. I realize I banyak dapat update berita terikini thru FB. and dapat byk motivational quotes from FB jugak. so its my feed lah kan. its all about how u strategies everything. Tapi memang akn ada satu2 masa i tak hambik kesah lgsg psl semua. especially bila time memang i tak boleh nk ngelat langsung my duty. (tu menunjukkan I selalu mengelat untuk buka FB dan lain2. apa punya Ummi la, teruk betol.haha). and when hubby is around. Im all his. cececeh.

untunglaaa orang yg ada hubby dekat2. org mcm I ni mengharap ehsan viber and whatssap and any free app je utk berhubung pjg2. tu pon sehari 2 kali. 1 masa hubs bangun pagi before dia goes to work (dapat la dalam 10 min kalau anak tak meragam), 1 lagi malam after dia balik kerja, which kalau dia balik lewat (selalu nya lah) kat Malaysia dah lewat malam sometimes I dah tertido masa tidorkan anak. and I akan terjaga pagi2 buta utk uruskan apa2 time tu dia pulak baru tido and i kesian nk kejut... so kalau dapat cakap ngn hubby dalam 30 min tu dah kira weehooo sangat dah. time dia kerja mmg I tak suka kacau ever since awal kawin lg. Dia tak suka. so korang. sila bersyukur bila hubs around. jangan asyik kerek ngn hubs uolss aje ye (dedikasi utk diri sndr yg suke carik pasal bila hubby balik yang tak selalu balik. nak ngegada la kunun.heee)

Erm... ok la tu je. Wassalam. 

Bad news, big hikmah I guess.

Everyone encounters different stage of tasks in a different way. As Muslims, we should believe that all the ujiaan we face will eventually lead us to something good, cause we believe Allah doesn't burden us something that we couldn't bear. Or in other words, Allah only tests us with the ujiaan that is possible for us to solve. "When there's problem, there's a way to tackle it"

Remember this ayaat? ......Allah does not impose upon any soul a duty but to the extent of its ability. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people.... :: 2 : 286 ::

This ayaat is very wonderful! A great reminder and a powerful Du'a too...

And speaking of ujiaan... This is what I'm going to share.

As you know, my hubby and I are now in the LDR phase. It's not easy, and never will be any easier so long as we are in this phase. But this challenge is just part and partial of our marriage journey. Life goes on. Others face different kind of problems in their marriage journey : Trying to conceive a baby, financial, health, etc etc. Yet, life goes on.

My pregnancy is now 37 weeks. 2 weeks ago, I received a call from my hubby, saying that his company may want to freeze any leave in Oct due to some big events i.e launching new Islamic product of the bank and grand official opening of the Islamic Bank's division (sort of). And tadaaa, my EDD is in Oct! when I first hear the news, I felt so mad! What I just heard was so nerves wrecking!

I took a deep breath to digest the news. I could no longer hear my hubby's voice clearly, just heard him calling "sayang, sayang" a few times after that. Can you imagine that? I'm about to give birth to OUR baby, not mine alone, and the most important person, the one that I really need at that moment, may not join me during that big event! I think it's totally make sense if I feel mad. And yes, I was so mad that I just blurted anything I wanted-didn't really care of my hubby's feeling. Yeah yeah, all the blame was on him! Well, he's the one who leave us, we are still here. not going anywhere!

But that didn't last long. I asked permission to end the conversation right away, as I need to calm myself before I hurt my hubby's feeling with my unconscious-unthinking words. But my hubby gave me only like...5 minutes to calm down, he called me back.... But Alhamdulillah, within that short period of time, I gained my rationality back. I just told him that I think it's Ok if it's really happen. I think I'll be able to handle the situation. I think I'll be fine. just keep on praying that the process will be smooth.That's all I need. In the end I did tell him that most importantly, I want to make sure that Allah is always with me, esp during the hard time - And I said all that with tears I tried hard to hold back.

Up till now, my hubby is still trying his best to ask for exception to take leaves (though he's the mastermind of the product, and one of the main person for the whole Bank event). If not, he'd be able to take long leave - paternity leave + block leave for 10 days. But now.... All we can do now is to pray, and my hubby just need to try his best. Twakkal 'ala Allah. inshaAllah there must b a way....We'll see how it turns out.

::Reminiscene of my first week after delivery 2 years back = My hubby was the hero of the story. He helped me in many ways: Brought the necessities, provide whatever necessary, clean up my wastes and discharges, massage my feet, shoulder, head, whatever...Only him can do this to me, without me even have to ask. without shame :: 

OK. that's one story.

Remember my last post about Looking for a malay/muslim confinement lady (CL)?
I goggled here and there, asked friends and people about this, posted status in FB wall and in few forums. I went to Shadira spa and some other places myself to survey. Alhamdulillah, I found 2 candidates that fit my requirement... And out of this 2, I chose this makcik from Malacca that I knew from a blogger. From her review that she posted in her blog, this Makcik did a superb service. I made a few calls with the Makcik, asked questions, and lastly, close the deal!--- This happened couple of months ago, during early Ramadhan.

From the early discussion, the agreement was to take her for 15 days home-care service for RM2K... But I've to deposit RM500 in her account to confirm booking. OK. easy peasy.

But since then, I called many times to ask for her account nu. She said she'll give me when she's home. She was in duty everytime I called, and she didn't remember her account nu. At last she said, I don't have to pay the deposit cause we already meet the agreement. Coincidentally she has one customer in Taman Melawati end of Sept so she'll go straight to me after finish her work there. She remember my name, safe my contact nu. and she said she'll call me back on my EDD, just to check whether or not I have delivered the baby. If yes, somebody just have to fetch her at  Batu 3 KTM station. It's quite weird though, dealing business in such way. I somehow felt unsafe.

And my gut was telling me the truth. This morning, the Makcik called me and told me that she has to cancel the service because she just realized she already has one customer just 5 days after my EDD. That customer has already confirmed the booking since June. I asked her if she already has customer since June, why on earth she didn't tell me right away when I asked her last time??? She said she didn't check her schedule until last night! What! that is so insane, doesn't make sense at all! If she has that attitude, I bet I'm not the only one who face this problem.

I was so mad and frustrated but I don't know why I didn't scold her. Makcik tak makcik, this is so unprofessional! She apologized but that wasn't enough! It's easy for her to just run away but I am the one who have to face the consequences. Only 2 weeks ++ to my EDD, and now I don't have any CL!

I called my hubby and told him about this. Pity him. I didn't mean to make him worry, but I have to let him involve this time. Before this, I took charge of almost everything regarding this CL, hospital survey, baby items etc. But now, at this time, he has to...

So we are now trying our best to find a good CL in last minute. Normally we have to book a few months early for the CL especially if we have one really good. But at this last minute time, I just hope to solve this problem ASAP.

I don't care how good the service she could provide. But the very basic thing must correct- attitude. Do you think it's good to let people in trouble and you just walk away from the problem you created for others, as long as you are OK?

My hubby said "It's Ok. mesti ada hikmah. Kita usaha dulu. inshaAllah."
I just hope we can solve the problem. My hubby is away. Farrr away, not away like, just 100 miles away...my moms working. And I have Aaron Houdd to take care of. I've decided to try for VBAC delivery despite my previous history of CPD. but just in case I have to undergo another c-sect, with my hubby is away, who's going to take care of me and the baby? She knew my situation very well. We discussed about this, I told her about my condition and my concern. If only she ever thinks of the consequences of  her action....

I can't predict what comes next. But I just hope that in the end, I'll be OK. and the baby is alright. Right now I don't really in the mood of telling you in detail about my Master's progress, the rejection of pengurangan yuran which cost me RM 1300++ for this semester padahal I've already in writing mode (no point of paying the research fees which cost me more than half of the total price), and my lecturer's intention to add some more labwork towards the end of my master's journey (I don't deny the fact that what she's doing is for my own good, but indeed, the time is not suitable.not now!). All...came at once!

It's like I'm having a can of worms... a major quagmire in this critical time. A long and deep sigh may seem to suit me... I feel burdened, and yes I sometimes feel out of control.

But...
Do you remember the story of Prophet Ayyub, on how Allah tests him with stages of ujiaan, each time was great and heavy. He lost his health, wealth, children, even his wife....Yet Prophet Ayyub's Imaan neither break nor shatter. Allahuakbar, Allahuakbar, Allahuakbar.... the story of Prophet Ayyub is my strength every time I feel so out of control.....though... I must admit, deep inside, my heart is ache, my emotion is disturbed, my brain keeps on producing tonnes of questions-the top one is Why me? why now? and I am not excluded from comparing my journey with others - like why I have to face stages of obstacle just to achieve (just) one goal? why others' are easier?

But then.... I realize that I have no right to blame anyone, precisely Allah... for all that happen. Because this is my life story. Others' are different. And yes, maybe my prayer is not sincere enough, my effort is not hard enough, and my love to Allah is not deep enough... Before I question Allah, I have to question myself first. Am I a good servant, and have I forgotten easily all other ni'mat Allah has given me.... The nikmat is wayyyy to much than the tests he's given.... Just like what Prophet Ayyub asked his wife before he let her go...

So which of the favors of your Lord would you deny?

(Ar-rahman, 55:13)

on something truly sad

Assalamu'alaikum.

I should be writing about something else. I've 2 things in my mind, both are about child's education. I'm actually restraining myself from updating my blog right now, coz I've not yet complete my 3rd chapter of my thesis (which I am now 3 weeks delay of my dateline-even though not entirely my fault-but yeah, still...that's my first priority now)...

But the pressure of thesis writing is sometimes unbearable! especially when you stuck on something that you have no total control over, and that delay your work, hence change your entire plan... I'm 7months pregnant now and I need to speed up.  Things will be more complicated if I couldn't afford to complete my first draft before delivery. "Allahumma Laa Sahla Illa ma ja'altahu sahla. Wa anta taj'al khazana idza ma syi'ta sahla.... Aminnnn"

And yes... writing an entry in my dearly blog is totally different feeling. It's like the best place you can visit whenever you want, especially during the time you want to look back on your precious memories. It's also the trusted place where you can jot down whatever you want, considering you don't mind what people may judge you :D I never mind not having any reader, as my main objective is to keep the memories alive, and to share something that I know, especially about parenting and children education. Share aje lah, org baca or tak lain cerita. Hopefully it can be some kind of my effort of spreading knowledge :)

And oh yes, speaking of blog- I'd read one of my friend's blog about friendship couple of days ago. She did mention about how sometimes friendship becomes something so weird- like you know- you used to have close friends where you share almost everything but things changed after everyone gets married or starts a new life (I'm rephrasing her words in my own way and understanding by the way.hehe)... She also mentioned about having to remove her friends in her blog who apparently doesn't really seem to care about her life anymore. Mind you her blog is in private mode. So it might make sense. She only maintain true blog-friends (in a sense) that still care for her, and she'd of course care for them too... Overall, it's about quality friendship...

I somehow agree to her points- quality friendship. Like I always say, I'm no a hardcore blogger. I don't mind not having a lot of followers. I do maintain some blogs, be it from the owner that I know in real life, or those who I just found in this blogging world. I choose them not because they are popular, having a lot of followers and what not. I choose to maintain reading their blogs because they have something to give me, something beneficial in term of knowledge,inspiration and motivation, and maybe much more, even if they have only like 12 followers, I really don't care. They are good mothers, inshaAllah good muslims. I've met new friends in blogging, friends that I can share things and thoughts though we never meet in person.

I know some of my friends keep updating my life by reading my blog. Indeed, I'm using the same method too. Fully understood, things nowadays are so much different than back then. We are tight with a lot of commitments - work, study, hubby, children, family, business, you name it... Sometimes it's not that we totally forget our friends, but maybe...maybe there are constrains that keep us busy. And I'm sure we still remember each other and the longing of old friends stick around together is so deep inside our hearts... That is why. I hope my dear friends can steal some of their times to update their blogs, because I need to know they are now truly happy, truly alive, as I am happy for their happiness. ..And most importantly, coz I don't want our friendship to fade, for whatever reason it may be.

So friends - esp my closest friends - you know who you are - please lah rajin sikit update blog naa. I miss you all so much. FB is not the same as we don't really tell our stories in FB. nak call pun kadang2 tak menyempat, tak berangkat, kalau you all tak return my call pun nanti macam2 speculation syaitan dok invent dalam hati.... I know you guys are busy. everybody is busy. even Aaron Houdd is busy. Hehe.. But please lah.... OK?! 

P/S: I have a friend that we met since form 1. And we still can call each other despite how busy our life is. Sometimes we meet. It's simple. When one of us call each other during wrong timing, we just have to call back or text each other later on. And we still manage to make silly jokes and share stories - just like old times.... Oh of course, she is a career woman, married, and has baby too.... Some other friends, although we don't meet each other due to distant etc, but we keep on buzzing each other's life through FB message, YM, blog, etc... I think at least we make use of the techno wisely. hehe... 

07.07.07-07.07.12: Our Marrriage journey...(d real journey)

Masa zaman anak dara dulu, kadang2 ada jugak berangan nak kawen sebab nak jadi isteri solehah and nak masuk syurga melalui tiket isteri solehah. Ada banyak hadith2 sahih menceritakan tentang kelebihan mjadi isteri solehah, yang paling femes is "isteri yg solehah boleh masuk syurga melalui pintu2 mana yg disukainya" (translation ringkas of the hadeeth)...

Hakikatnya, ia bukanlah semudah yang dibayangkan. Untuk menjadi seorang isteri yang solehah, cabaran nya bukan calang2. Bila sudah bergelar isteri, barulah diri ini memahami kenapa begitu besarnya ganjaran yang Allah sediakan buat seorang isteri solehah "Kerana ianya satu tugas dan cabaran yang amat berat"...

Biasalah manusia, iman tinggi rendah ye tak. Kadang2 kalau tak kena timing, sikit salah saja darah pun menggelegak sampai kepala. Tambah lagi hidup sbg suami isteri, pasti ada pasang surutnya, baik gadohnya, manis pahitnya....

Syukur Alhamdulillah, selama 5 tahun perkahwinan ni, belum pernah sekalipun kita berperang sehingga ketahuan orang luar. Usik mengusik yang menjengkelkan tu perkara biasalah kalau dapat suami yang annoying. Tahan ajelah ye tak. Hihi... Dan doa saya sbg seorang isteri pastilah ingin melalui kehidupan berumah tangga yang harmoni sehingga akhir hayat...

Berkahwin di usia muda, antara cabaran yang biasa dilalui adalah masalah kewangan dan pengurusan emosi. Kedua2 ini boleh menjadi punca pergadohan sekiranya tidak ditangani dgn baik. Patutlah orang tua2 selalu berpesan, suami isteri perlu banyak bertoleransi....

Tak sampai 8 bulan usia pernikahan kita, Allah telah menguji kita dengan 1 ujian yang tak tertanggung beratnya. Hati sama2 merasai kepedihan dan keperitannya. Terlalu berat ujian tersebut sehingga benar2 menguji keutuhan cinta dan kesabaran kita. Peristiwa itu memberi kesan di hati sehingga kini, dan mungkin sampai bila2. Namun sy amat bersyukur mempunyai suami yang penyabar seperti awak, yang banyak mengajar sy erti perkongsian hidup, terutamanya di dalam berkongsi rasa. Alhamdulillah, setelah 5 tahun berdoa dan berharap, akhirnya Allah kabulkan juga doa kita. InshaAllah tiada perkara seperti itu akan berlaku lagi selepas ini... Jika ada sekalipun, kita tetap akan laluinya bersama...

Kemanisan sesebuah rumahtangga sering terbina di atas landasan kepayahan hidup bersama, dengan syarat kita sama2 redha dan tabah. Kita pernah melalui banyak kepayahan bersama. Wang scholar pernah berjasa membayar bil2 elektrik dan talipon, pernah dihulur kepada family, dan membayar monthly installment satu2nya kenderaan kita pada waktu itu... Alhamdulillah, sy pernah merasai itu semua. Siapa tahu, seorang isteri yang belum berkerja pun masih boleh menyumbang kepada financial keluarga.... 

Dan takkan pernah saya lupa sampai bila2 betapa berjasanya ferrari merah kesayangan awak, kepada kita sekeluarga. Kereta itulah yang membawa kita setiap hari utk mencari rezeki dan menuntut ilmu, kereta itulah yang membawa saya yg sarat mengandung ingin bersalinkan Aaron Houdd, dan kereta itulah yang membawa ibu (my MIL) berbelanja hampir setiap bulan sekali. Yes, walaupun ketika hujan bumbungnya bocor sehingga banjir di dalam and awak terpaksa melipat seluar sehingga ke tulang keting, dan ketika panas teriknya meresap sampai ke kulit, walaupun kereta itu kecil sahaja dan buruk pula, walaupun kereta itu seringkali uzur di bawa ke bengkel. 3 tahun perkahwinan kita menggunakan kereta itu sahaja, dan Alhamdulillah, mungkin kerana awak yang mendidik hati sy, tidak sekalipun sy merungut dan merasa malu dgn menaiki kereta itu. Sebaliknya, paling sy suka adalah kerana kereta itu kecil, jadi setiap kali kita naik bersama tiada masalah langsung untuk berpegangan tangan dan bersentuhan bahu. Itulah kenikmatan terbesar menaiki kereta yang dilihat kecil dan buruk itu... Sehinggalah kita mampu untuk memiliki sebuah kereta lain, namun kita takkan pernah melupai jasa kereta itu, walaupun bg sesetengah org mungkin tidak selesa apabila memandu atau menaiki kereta tu...

Mengandung, melahirkan, menyusukan dan membesarkan anak, bukanlah satu proses yang mudah. Seorang isteri akan menjadi kuat bila suaminya sentiasa di sisi memberi sokongan dan membantu sedaya mampu. Pregnant pertama, tak pernah sekalipun sy check up seorang diri. Ketika bersalin, hampir semua perkara awak lakukan untuk kami anak beranak. Teringat ketika tempoh seminggu bersalin, luka czer masih terlalu menyengat, nak menukar posisi menyusukan anak pun susah, apatah lagi untuk membersihkan diri di bilik air. Awaklah yang datang, membasuh kotoran saya, yang mana seumur hidup saya tak pernah seorang pun melihatnya, apatah lagi menguruskannya. Masih teringat air mata laju berderaian dek kerana emosi yang bercampur baur. Malu, terharu, syukur, dan macam2 lagi... Jasa itu terlalu besar untuk saya balas.

Awak bukanlah jenis suami yang berkira. Tidak pernah berat tulang untuk membantu. Tidak pernah high demand itu ini. Sebaliknya sentiasa memudahkan tugas isteri. Sejak sebelum menikah, sy tahu awak seorang yang sangat aktif. Bila bekerjaya menjadi seorang yang workaholic. Agak menakjubkan bila awak boleh pulang sebelum matahari terbenam. Menjadi perkara biasa bila saya terpaksa menunggu sehingga lewat malam atau awal pagi. Outstation pula seperti rutin kerja yang biasa. Semua itu sy terima dengan baik. Alhamdulillah tidak pernah pula kita bertegang urat kerana ini, kecualilah sesekali sy ada mengingatkan awak, supaya tidak terlalu sibuk bekerja sehingga tidak perasan anak membesar. Namun, sungguh pun sibuk, awak masih tetap ada ketika sy memerlukan. Sentiasa memberi sokongan dan dorongan ketika diri ini lemah. Walaupun sibuk, awak tetap meluangkan masa bersama kami, bercuti, berjalan, atau bermalas2an di rumah :)

Namun bila kita diuji dengan PJJ, lain benar rasanya. Berat benar terasa ujian ini. Sungguh, mungkin kesibukan awak dan kebiasaan saya menerima situasi berjauhan dengan suami adalah latihan yang Allah berikan, namun tetap payah rasanya bila awak tiada di sini. Hanya mereka2 yang melalui sahaja akan memahami... Tapi Alhamdulillah, belum pernah lagi semangat ini rebah ke bumi, sy tetap masih teguh berdiri bersama zuriat2 kita. Setiap hari sy berdoa agar diberi kekuatan dan kesabaran sementara kita berjauhan. 

Saya berharap, perkahwinan kita berkekalan hingga ke syurga. Saya harap kita boleh tua bersama, melihat anak2 membesar bersama2, dan melalui hidup juga bersama2.....

Maafkan saya yang selalu melawan kata, merajuk tak tentu hala, atau merapu bila berbicara. 

Doakan sy menjadi isteri, ibu dan anak yang solehah.

Semoga kita tabah melalui hidup bersama :)

Terima kasih atas segalanya

07.07.07 - 07.07.12 : Our marriage journey (pre-marriage)

Entry ni mungkin bagi sesetengah orang dirasakan tidak perlu, atau entry menggedik yang hanya sepatutnya menjadi rahsia suami/isteri dan anak2 sahaja...

Apa yg bakal dicoretkan di sini tiada satu pun kisah dalam kain, juga tiada kisah melampau yang perlu ditutup. InshaAllah.... Sekadar perkongsian, juga apa yg tercoret adalah semata2 untuk dikenang dikemudian hari, mungkin satu hari nanti bila kami membuka semula blog ini, membacanya bersama dan mungkin akan tersenyum atau menangis bersama :)

Our first anniversary, 07.07.08.... Eh, awak nampak muda lah dlm gambar ni, tapi Jie nampak sama je dulu dengan sekarang :)

********

Mohamad Noranuar Bin Sajari,

Suamiku, sahabatku, Imamku, bapa kepada zuriat2 ku, kekasih hatiku...

Alhamdulillah, usia pernikahan kita memasuki usianya yang ke 5. Terasa cepat benar masa berlalu. Terasa seolah-olah baru semalam diri ini menjadi isterimu yang sah. Sungguh cepat rasanya masa berlalu. Di usia ini, kita telah diamanahkan zuriat2 yang soleh, penyejuk mata dan penyeri rumah tangga. Syukur Alhamdulillah... 

Mengimbas kenangan ketika di Uni dulu, pertama kali kita berjumpa ketika meeting program persatuan. Malam itu, semua AJK yang hadir memang tidak asing lagi bagi saya. Kecuali awak. Kebetulan awak ketua Unit san saya timbalan awak. Malam itulah detik pengenalan kita bermula. Dan tidak pernah sy sangka pengenalan kita akan menjadi seakrab hari ini :)

Mungkin inilah yang dinamakan takdir. Selepas malam itu, kita banyak bertemu di program2 yang lain. Tak teringat berapa banyak NGO luar kampus yang kita sertai bersama, TANPA DIRANCANG. Tapi yang paling banyak mendekatkan kita adalah program2 di IIS. Sungguh banyak saya belajar di situ. Satu pengalaman yang takkan pernah saya lupakan. 

Dulu, Ferari Merah kesayangan awak WFY 768 (baca:kancil merah OK) sering dilihat di mana2 di sekitar kawasan kampus. Pemandunya sering bertukar2. Kereta tersebut memberi banyak jasa kepada pergerakan islam di dalam dan luar kampus. Kereta tersebut jugalah yang banyak kami tumpang ke mana2. Teringat setiap kali ke mana2, awak sering ditemani oleh 4 orang anak gadis. Sering menjadi bahan usikan "Hai, Anuar, belum2 dah cukup kuota?" Hahaha.... Usikan itu berlarutan hatta sehingga kita sudah bertunang. Tapi tak sedikit pun hati ini terasa berkecil hati. Malah geli hati dgn gurauan2 sahabat2 tersayang...

Malam bersejarah adalah pada 5 Ramadhan 1427. Tahun 2006, tahun akhir kita di Uni. Malam ketika awak datang 'menziarah' di kolej. Malam ketika awak bertanya soalan cepu emas yang amat berani, tanpa perlu menggunakan mana2 orang tengah...

"Oh, jadi awak masih 'kosong'?"

Angguk

"Kalau macam tu, sudikah kalau saya nak mengisi kekosongan tu?"

Membuatkan saya amat malu dengan Kak Shikin yang menemani pada waktu itu. Hahaha...

Setiap orang punya kisah cinta mereka. Begitu juga dengan kita. Ujian bermula seawal perancangan untuk bernikah. Bukan sukar untuk menikah di usia muda. Pada waktu itu keinginan awak ditentang hebat oleh keluarga awak sendiri. Banyak alasan yang diberi: Terlalu muda, macam mana nak bagi anak orang makan, blah blah blah... Tapi concern terbesar mereka adalah kenapa perlu menikah muda? Kenapa tidak membalas jasa ibu dahulu? Bkerja, beri duit pada ibu, etc....

Walaupun pada waktu itu awak sudah beberapa bulan bekerja, dan saya tahu awak tidak pernah gagal membantu ibu dari segala segi, sedari dulu lagi. Namun bukan mudah untuk mengubah persepsi. Apatah lagi persepsi orang2 lama yang telah banyak 'makan garam'. Alhamdulillah, kita berjaya memiliki rumah sendiri beberapa bulan sebelum menikah. Dengan membeli rumah, diharapkan dapat meyakinkan mereka tentang keseriyusan awak dan kita untuk mencorak masa depan sendiri. Namun bukan semudah yang disangka... 

Tentangan hebat dirasakan amat menguji kesabaran dan keutuhan cinta. Lebih2 lagi bila objektif utama adalah untuk menjalin cinta yang suci selepas pernikahan. Namun bukanlah bermaksud keluarga mertua ku (keluarga awak) tidak merestui hubungan kita. Ibu sangat baik. Alhamdulillah bagaimana berbeza pendapat dan pemikiran, tidak pernah sekalipun saya dan ibu berselisih faham. Malah sehingga kini ibu sangat banyak memberi ruang kepada kita untuk mencorak rumah tangga kita sendiri.

Alhamdulillah, akhirnya doa kita dimakbulkan. Setelah banyak ikhtiar, akhirnya pernikahan kita berjaya juga dilangsungkan. Keluarga pihak saya memang dari hari pertama awak datang, soalan pertama ayah adalah sejauh mana seriusnya hubungan ini, dan ayah amat suka bila awak mahu menjadikan saya isteri awak yang sah :)

Masih ingatkah awak ketika hari pertunangan kita pada 1 Muharram 1428, awak dengan tidak malu nya berada di depan barisan pihak lelaki dan duduk di sebelah ayah dan Wak Jani, wakil sebelah awak... Awak pula yang mahu becakap pada majlis itu. Memang lah reason awak sebab hanya awak sorang saja yang tahu segala perancangan kita, tapi kalau ikut adat memang fail lah. Semua orang gelakkan awak masa tu... Eee... tak maluuuuu! :)

Majlis pernikahan amat sederhana. Memadai dengan wang simpanan awak yang setahun bekerja, dan wang simpanan saya yang baru setengah tahun bekerja. Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah.... Kesederhanaan itu disambut dengan doa2 yang ikhlas datangnya dari sahabat2 handai. Allah mudahkan urusan kita. Rezeki melimpah ruah. Ramai yang datang membantu tanpa diduga. Semuanya nampak dengan jelas ketika di majlis di rumah pihak perempuan. Walaupun penat, masing2 berpuas hati dan Alhamdulillah, paling penting tiada hati yang terluka. Begitulah matlamat walimatul urus: Menyatukan hati2 dan merapatkan silaturrahim, bukannya menjadi punca pergadohan hanya kerana soal2 warna tema, hantaran, dan souvenir.

Dan di malam persandingan, masih teringat pengantin lelaki yang memakaikan inai di jari2 pengantin perempuan pada pukul 3 pagi, kerana yang lain sibuk dengan tugasan masing2. Waktu yang singkat itu sempat membuahkan gelak tawa kita berdua. Mana tidaknya, bila dibasuh, ada banyak lubang2 kosong di kuku yang tak kena inai. Haiyyaaa :)

Pernahkah kalian melihat baju pengantin terkena air tumpah? Haaa... itulah yang berlaku kepada saya! Pada hari makan beradap, tidak semena2 bapa mertua saya telah tertumpahkan air bandungnya dan entah macam mana, terkena pada kain baju saya yang berwarna putih! Oh betapa tensyennya waktu itu, tapi pengantin mesti kena sentiasa senyum... Bila diimbas kembali, geli hati pula rasanya...

Dan ketika sedang menjadi raja sehari itu, saya juga dalam masa yang sama telah menjadi rujukan adik2 dan saudara mara terdekat tentang banyak perkara kerana saya dan suami lah mastermind di sebalik majlis pernikahan dan persandingan kami. Hampir kesemuanya kami uruskan sendiri. Bukan keluarga tidak membantu. Cuma memang tak menang tangan ketika itu. Akibatnya, tengah dok makan beradap, ada je yang datang bertanya itu ini, tengah sesi fotografi pun sempat juga pause sekejap menguruskan urusan2 domestik. Tapi kemeriahan suasana begitu terasa bahagianya, terutamanya matlamat kami untuk turun bertemu para tetamu yang datang mendoakan, menjadi kenyataan. Memang kami lebih gemar jika pengantin tidak hanya duduk di pelamin. Kerana para tetamu yang datang itu adalah tetamu majlis kita, maka lebih baik jika dapat bersua muka dengan seramai mungkin. 

Walaupun pengantin sendiri yang drive untuk outdoor photography session, tp itu tidak menjadi masalah langsung. Sama juga situasinya ketika menikah, awak dengan siap bersongkok bersamping menjadi driver untuk majlis pernikahan awak sendiri. Sungguh tidak ekslusif bukan? Tapi itu juga tidaklah mencacatkan hari2 bahagia kami, kerana bahagianya sesebuah pasangan bukanlah pada 1 hari persandingan/pernikahan itu, tapi pada setiap hari selepas pernikahan... 

Kesimpulan terhadap majlis pernikahan dan persandingan kita, memang amat berterabur sebenarnya! kedua2 pihak adalah anak sulung dan baru pertama kali mengadakan majlis besar begini, maka banyak perkara yang dibuat ala2 'belasah aje lah'. Di pihak awak, lagi lah sangat berterabur kerana tak ramai yang boleh membantu, adik2 kecil2 dan saudara mara pun tak ramai. Awaklah yang buat hampir semua perkara ketika majlis di Johor. Namun Alhamdulillah, semuanya telah berakhir dengan baik, cukup makanan, cukup souvenir, tetamu datang dengan doa2 mereka buat kita. Alhamdulillah...

Saya tak pernah lupa satu perkara yang awak pernah ungkapkan kepada saya ketika kita baru bernikah. Kata awak, "Saya bersyukur masuk di dalam keluarga awak, di mana saya merasakan sebuah kasih sayang yang baru, yang begitu kuat rasanya. Paling penting, saya tidak pernah menyangka punya family mertua yang amat sporting dan tidak sedikitpun menyukarkan saya untuk menikahi awak.  Tiada majlis risik, tidak perlu banyak2 cincin, tidak meletakkan syarat minima untuk hantaran dan mahar, hanya ayah cakap 'ikut kemampuan lah, tapi janganlah sampai rasa harga itu tidak releven'...Cuma ayah banyak kali berpesan, jaga awak dengan sebaik mungkin. Dan saya takkan mungkir janji saya pada ayah, juga itulah janji saya pada diri saya sendiri sejak hari pertama awak menjadi isteri saya"

Pernah suatu hari saya bertanya jenis soalan yang isteri2 suka bertanya dan suami2 tak suka mendengar :)

"Tak menyesal kahwin dengan saya? Muda2 dah jadi suami orang, pegang tanggungjawab besar. Kalau kawhin lewat sikit macam yang diorang sarankan mungkin sekarang awak lebih enjoy"

Awak menjawab:

"Tidak pernah sedetik pun dalam hari saya menjadi suami awak saya rasa kesal. Mereka mungkin beranggapan kalau berkahwin tidak boleh membalas jasa ibu. Tapi awak sendiri tengok, saya belum pernah culas. Malahan sebagai abang yang sulong, sampai sekarang saya akan membantu. Itu memang tanggungjawab saya tak kisah lah saya berstatus apa pun...

Mereka mungkin merasakan yang saya mungkin akan mengabaikan tanggungjawab saya. Saya perlu berkhidmat untuk keluarga... Hakikatnya saya juga manusia biasa yang memerlukan sokongan, motivasi dan bila diri rasa down, saya perlukan seorang teman yang boleh memujuk dan mendamaikan hati. Saya bukan robot. Dan saya tidak pernah salah membuat keputusan dengan menikahi awak, dan bernikah awal. Kerana tanggungjawab saya yang besar sebagai penanggung keluarga lah yang menyebabkan saya lebih2 memerlukan awak. Di kala orang lain susah, saya menjadi tempat meluahkan perasaan dan sebagainya... Tapi di kala saya susah, hanya awak seorang yang faham. Saya tidak perlu cakap yang saya ada masalah, tapi awak boleh tahu. Saya tidak perlu cerita dari A-Z, tapi awak tahu apa yang saya perlukan. Seumur hidup saya, tidak pernah saya rasa ada orang benar2 ambil berat terhadap saya dan mahu mengambil pusing tentang kesusahan saya, melainkan awak. So yes, saya tidak pernah menyesal, sebaliknya saya bersyukur"...............

Jika awak baca entry ni (dan entry yang selepas ini), saya harap awak boleh tersenyum sambil mengimbas hari2 kita bersama.... 5 tahun adalah fasa perkenalan dan adaptasi di dalam sesebuah rumah tangga. Banyak benda yang kita belajar, terutamanya untuk belajar menerima dan berlapang dada. Terima kasih kerana semangat dan dorongan awak selama ni, terutamanya di dalam mendidik saya menjadi isteri solehah...

Cube tengok pengapit lelaki. Syapid Sajari pengapit bidang terjun... mcm nak pergi berkelah aje baju dia. Tp family perempuan tak kisah pun... layan aje.... :)

Daddy, Ummi & Adik Baby

Last monday, before kami check in di Concorde, kami sempat buat monthly check up. Alhamdulillah, adik baby dah 19 weeks++. EDD mengikut ultrasound adalah pada 22/10/12 (Akh Aaron lahir 22/2/10). Memang nombor 0,1,2 je eh? Hehe.... Tapi kalau mengikut doc, jika ditakdirkan I ni memang tak boleh bersalin normal, biasanya by weeks 36 to 38 doc akan induce dah. tak perlu tunggu 40 weeks. (Oh I was diagnosed with CPD via MRI scan during my previous pregnancy). 

Anyway, mengikut scan, perkembangan adik baby baik. Alhamdulillah, ukuran diameter skull, abdomen, semuanya sesuai. Fetus heart pun positive. Adik baby pun sama macam abang dia, kuat menendang termasuklah time doc tengah scan. Hehe... Cume untuk memastikan further health condition seperti cleft, formation of organs macam kidney, lung, liver, etc doc suruh buat check up dekat O&G specialist. Tak pe lah, yang tu nanti dulu. Ummi pun tengah survey lagi nak bersalin kat mana kalini. Hihi...

Kalau mengikut babycentre.com, by this week sensory development adik baby sudah semakin sensitif. Ummi sepatutnya kena banyak bercakap dan mengaji kepada adik baby supaya inshaAllah dapat membantu perkembangan minda adik baby....

Memang tak dinafikan pregnant anak pertama dengan kedua ni ada perbezaan. Seperti yang I dah ceritakan pada post2 yang sebelum ni, perbezaan tu more to simptom dan penjagaan. Tapi untuk kali ni ia lebih dari sekadar simptom. Kalau si abang dulu I dah ada nama dari dia belum di alam rahim lagi, tapi untuk yang ini, nama tu memang dah ada la dalam list, tapi masih samar2. Siapa cakap bila dah pernah pregnant, the next pregnancy akan jadi mudah. Yes in some way, tapi sebenarnya walaupun baru 2 tahun yang lalu I pregnant, tapi bila pregnant lagi banyak jugak I kena belajar or recall semula. OK la tu kan. Baru la rasa seronok. Hehe...

Kalau dengan si abang dulu setiap hari dia akan dengar suara Ummi mengaji (kecuali time Ummi mengelat.hehe), dan hampir setiap malam daddy akan mengaji untuk abang, tapi untuk adik baby, Daddy minta maaf sangat sebab daddy jauh. Daddy cume boleh mengaji dari jauh. Adik baby hanya dapat dengar suara Ummi mengaji untuk adik baby. Tapi tak apa, kita mengaji sama2, inshaAllah kita khatam lagi ye. 

Daddy jugak minta maaf pada adik baby sebab Daddy tak dapat nak hari2 bercakap dengan adik baby. Sebab daddy jauh. Tapi tiap2 malam bila daddy call Ummi adik baby ni macam tau pulak time tu lah dia nak menendang2 memberi respon :)

And Daddy jugak minta maaf pada Ummi sebab tak dapat jaga Ummi sebaik Daddy jaga Ummi pada pregnancy yang sebelumni. Kasih sayang Daddy pada adik baby tetap sama. Malah kami yakin adik baby akan menjadi anak yang kuat dan soleh, inshaAllah...

Sebabtulah, seboleh2nya Daddy akan cuba balik sebulan sekali walaupun hanya 3 hari shj, sebab Daddy taknak miss monthly check up adik baby. Itu bukanlah kehendak Ummi, tapi kehendak Daddy. Biarlah sesetengah orang ingat Ummi ni manja ke apa. Tapi sebagai suami dan daddy, Daddy dah berusaha yang terbaik mungkin untuk kita. Duit bukanlah boleh membeli kebahagiaan dan kasih sayang. Lagipun ini cuma untuk sementara sahaja. Tahun depan kita boleh berkumpul sama2 hari2 :)

Walaupun Ummi tak dapat menumpukan 100% perhatian kepada adik baby sebab kena berkongsi perhatian dengan Akh Aaron, tapi adik baby kena tahu yang in some other way adik baby lebih beruntung. Walaupun Daddy jauh dan Ummi sibuk, tapi hari2 Akh Aaron akan datang kiss adik baby and main2 dengan Adik Baby. Akh Aaron suka main 'tickle tickle baby'. Sometimes memanglah Akh Aaron akan lasak sikit, tapi adik beradik kenalah sayang menyayangi dan maaf memaafi ye :)

Adik baby juga beruntung sebab walaupun Daddy jauh, tapi masih ada ramai lagi yang selalu mengikuti perkembangan adik baby. So Ummi doakan adik baby sihat, dan lahir menjadi anak yang soleh dan mukmin yang berjaya. Amiinnn....

Akh Aaron Houdd pun sama. Kecik2 dah berjauhan dengan Daddy. Walhal time macamnilah waktu yang paling sesuai untuk Daddy mendidik anak2nya macam2 pelajaran. Aaron pun dah tak banyak 'Daddy & Son time' macam dulu. Tapi Daddy tetap sayang, sama macam dulu...

And for the first time after 3 months being in long distant relationship, malam ni Ummi terasa sebak sangat. Sebak sebab memikirkan betapa anak2 Ummi memerlukan Daddy nya, sama macam Ummi memerlukan suami di sisi. Untuk diri Ummi, Ummi rasa inshaAllah OK. Cuma untuk anak2 Ummi, terasa sebak rasanya... Begitu juga bila memikirkan Daddy yang hari2 sunyi sorang2 di sana. Tak dapat nak melihat keletah anak2 melihat wajah isteri. Mesti lagi pedih rasanya.

Teringat 5 hari yang lalu betapa bahagianya kita sekeluarga dapat berkumpul bersama. Teringat setiap pagi Daddy akan suapkan Obimin pada Ummi everytime after breakfast dan Akh Aaron akan berebut dengan Daddy nak bagi Ummi medicine. Teringat pada malam terakhir Daddy bersama kita Ummi dah mula demam teruk, jarang Ummi minta ubat kecuali dah teruk macam malam tu, entah pukul berapa pagi Daddy keluar belikan Ummi paracetamol. And terngiang2 suara Daddy mengaji untuk adik baby dan Akh Aaron yang sedang tidur. Semuanya Ummi teringat masa Ummi mengaji bersama adik baby tadi... Sebaknya rasa hati...

Teringat juga detik2 perit yang terpaksa kita lalui sepanjang ketiadaan Daddy. Masa Aaron demam panas, 2 malam berturut2 Ummi berkejar ke A&E SDMC. Masa setiap kali kereta buat hal, masa Ummi mabuk dan sakit belakang malam2, masa Aaron wean from BF sebulan yang lepas, masa Aaron mengamuk malam2. Ada banyak perkara yang kita lalui bertiga (Ummi, Akh Aaron & adik baby). Ada banyak juga yang dibantu oleh family. Alhamdulillah, semuanya kenangan buat Ummi...

Sebabtulah, sekarangni Ummi tak boleh berpisah langsung dari Aaron Houdd walaupun hanya untuk satu malam.... Dan Ummi selalu berdoa agar adik baby membesar menjadi anak yang soleh. Ummi bersyukur punya anak2 yang membahagiakan hati Ummi di samping Daddy yang jauh tetapi dekat di hati...

Zaman memang sudah berubah.

Baru-baru ni I secara tak sengajanya terbaca satu forum tentang marriage life ni. Banyak info yg I dapat and belajar daripada forum tersebut. Disebabkan forum tu bersifat umum, jadi topik2 perbincangannya juga agak general - daripada isu pra perkahwinan (persiapan wedding etc), pengantin baru, family in general, baby dan lain-lain....

Dalam banyak2 topik, I berkanan dengan topik family planning. I perasan tajuk tu menjadi hangat bila ada dua pendapat tentang perlunya merancang keluarga ni. Ada yang bersetuju, ada jugak yang tidak. Kedua2nya mempunyai hujah2 yang baik. Dan mungkin juga apa sahaja pendapat yang kita pegang tu ada sangkut pautnya juga dengan latar belakang kita.

Secara kesimpulannya I lihat mana2 pihak yang bersetuju perlunya family planning ni majoritynya adalah dari kalangan mereka2 yang sudah berumah tangga, and kebanyakannya ibu muda. Mungkin lah kerana faktor2 seperti kekangan masa, keperluan mengurus rumah tangga dan lain2, di mana kebanyakan ibu2 muda zaman sekarang memang mempunyai banyak tanggungjawab samada di rumah ataupun di luar rumah.

Pada pendapat peribadi I, samada merancang ataupun tidak, semuanya terserah kepada pasangan itu sendiri. Cuma yang penting, bak kata Dr. Harlina, SETIAP ANAK MESTILAH DIKEHENDAKI.

Mari kita lihat istilah 'merancang keluarga' dan 'persiapan sebelum mempunyai anak' sebagai suatu yang positif.

Merancang keluarga BUKAN bermaksud kita perlu menyekat kehamilan untuk sekian-sekian lama, atau mengehadkan jumlah anak. Ia mungkin lebih baik jika difahami sebagai mempersiapkan diri dan persekitaran demi kelahiran SETIAP cahaya mata. Itu boleh jadi jika kita belum betul2 bersedia dari sisi2 tertentu, kita boleh 'menangguhkan' kehamilan mengikut cara2 yg telah disyorkan oleh doktor.

Tetapi ia juga boleh jadi sebaliknya, di mana jika kita sudah bersedia, maka kita perlu mempersiapkan diri dan persekitaran agar dapat menjaga diri dan kandungan dengan baik. Itu termasuklah mengambil asid folik sejak sebelum kehamilan, dan mula menjaga kesihatan diri secara serius, seiring dengan doa dan tawakal kepada Allah yang memberi rezeki. Ini juga termasuk para suami kerana benih yang baik datangnya dari suami itu sendiri. Jadi sekiranya anda sudah merancang untuk memiliki anak, suami itu dahulu yang perlu memastikan dirinya sihat dan benih yang bakal disumbangkan kepada isteri adalah yang terbaik!

Biasa terdengar (juga di dalam forum tersebut) hujah paling kukuh untuk tidak berapa menyukai family planning adalah kerana setiap anak adalah rezeki dari Allah. Maka jika kita merancang kehamilan, maka kita menolak rezeki Allah. Siapa kita untuk menolak rezeki Allah?

Satu lagi hujah adalah mengapa pasangan zaman sekarang terlalu suka dengan family planning sedangkan para ibu2 pada zaman dahulu mampu melahirkan dan mengasuh anak yang ramai tanpa gagal? Apatah lagi jika zaman dahulu, ramai di kalangan para ibu tidak bekerja dan si ayah hanya petani, nelayan atau peniaga kecil-kecilan yang bergaji rendah. Mampu juga membesarkan anak sehingga dewasa?

Kedua2 hujah I setuju 100%. Benar, anak adalah rezeki Allah. Anak juga adalah amanah dan tanggungjawab kepada ibu bapa. Jadi, biarlah kita menyediakan yang terbaik buat anak kita mengikut kemampuan, dan mendidik mereka dengan baik. Rezeki yang datangnya dari Allah perlulah disyukuri dan dipelihara. Kerana rezeki adalah nikmat. Tetapi jika rezeki itu tidak dilihat sebagai nikmat, sebaliknya menjadi bebanan, maka adakah kita bersyukur dengan rezeki tersebut?

Sejak di universiti I bergiat aktif di dalam NGO. Banyak isu remaja bermasalah lahir daripada keluarga yang tidak sakinah. Secara logiknya, mungkin tiada ibu bapa yang sanggup mengaku merasa terbeban dengan bilangan anak yang ramai dan kesempitan hidup di tambah dengan masalah suami isteri yang tidak pernah berkesudahan. Tapi I juga mendengar luahan pelajar2 yang sering diherdik, dipukul oleh ibu/bapa dengan kata-kata kesat sambil menyatakan bahawa mereka hanyalah menyusahkan keluarga sahaja. Pernah juga I terdengar ibu bapa yang setiap kali mempunyai masalah akan melepaskan kemarahannya kepada anak2 dan merungut2 di hadapan anak2, sehinggakan si anak tidak ubah seperti bebanan mereka semata-mata. Agak menyedihkan apabila keadaan ibu bapa yang suka marah anak2 di khalayak ramai sambil menunjal kepala dan mencarut di hadapan anak2, walaupun si anak baru berumur sekitar 5 ke 7 tahun. Dan ayat yang saya sudah beberapa kali dengar selain 'bodoh' adalah 'menyusahkan aku saja'. Astaghfirullah...

Mungkin ini adalah masalah sikap. Tiada kaitan dengan perlunya merancang keluarga. Tapi kes-kes yang komplikated mempunyai banyak faktor. Jika kita berharta, mempunyai banyak kemudahan, mungkin anak seramai 5-7 orang tidaklah menjadi masalah. Tetapi bagaimana dengan yang tidak mempunyai pekerjaan yang tetap dan sebagainya? Jadi isu di sini bukanlah semata-mata berapa jumlah anak dan jaraknya tetapi perancangan tersebut bergantung kepada setiap keluarga mengikut kapasiti dan kemampuan masing2. Dan kemampuan itu, hanya kita yang mampu mengukurnya. Ia termasuklah dari segi ketahanan mental, kewangan, masa dan sikap.

Zaman memang telah banyak berubah. Jika dahulu para ibu tidak bekerja dan hanya menguruskan hal rumah tangga, kini para ibu majoritynya terdiri daripada para graduan university dan ramai juga yang berkerjaya. Jangan hanya melihat faktor kewangan sebagai penyebab perlunya perancangan keluarga. Benar, anak itu rezeki. Kita tidak perlu bergaji besar untuk mempunyai anak! Sebaliknya ia bergantung kepada bagaimana kita menguruskan kewangan dan pandai menyelenggara kewangan apabila berlakunya pertambahan ahli keluarga.

Tetapi ada banyak faktor lain yang perlu dipertimbangkan. Zaman sekarang, jika bergaji tinggi sekalipun, kita akan dikenakan income tax. Menaiki kenderaan perlu membayar tol dan mengisi minyak. Mahu makan pun bukan seperti zaman dahulu yang jika tiada apa-apa boleh lihat sekeliling rumah dan petik-petik sahaja ulam yang ada. Rata-rata kos nursery atau pembantu rumah sahaja boleh memeningkan kepala. Itu belum lagi kos pendidikan, rumah sakit dan sebagainya.

Bagi ibu bapa yang bekerja, cubalah kira berapa banyak masa yang kita luangkan di jalan raya, pejabat dan lain2 jika ingin dibandingkan dengan masa yang ada di rumah. Itu belum lagi bagi pasangan yang jarak jauh. Bagi I isu masa amat penting. Lebih2 lagi I sendiri dibesarkan di tangan ramai pengasuh dan amat sukar bertemu dengan ibu bapa sendiri kerana masing2 sibuk bekerja. Suami pula dari baby telah dijaga oleh neneknya. Semasa remaja, teman baik dan penyimpan rahsia2 I bukanlah ibu atau ayah, tetapi adalah rakan-rakan.

Faktor-faktor begini yang sebenarnya menyumbang kepada masalah stress dan menyebabkan kesediaan kita untuk memiliki sebuah keluarga yang besar kadangkala terganggu. Jangankan soal anak, suami isteri juga boleh bergaduh kerana isu-isu kewangan, tugas, tanggungjawab, sikap dan lain-lain lagi, walaupun masih belum mempunyai anak.

Lagipun, zaman sekarang majority kita sudahpun terdedah kepada ilmu-ilmu merancang keluarga, tidak seperti zaman dahulu. Lagipun, tidak semua kita mahu anak-anak kita membesar sebagaimana susahnya kita dibesarkan dahulu, kerana kita tidak mahu anak2 kita merasai kesusahan dan keperitan yang pernah kita alami. Jadi adalah agak kurang adil jika kita ingin menyamakan zaman dahulu dan sekarang sedangkan ternyata sudah berubah.

Itu belum lagi jika dilihat faktor anak2 itu sendiri. Dulu, anak2 sangat menghormati ibu bapa. Jika ibu menjegil mata saja kita sudah tahu kita melakukan kesalahan dan cepat2 membetulkan diri. Kalau nakal lagi pasti akan kena rotan. Sekarang, jika kita jegil mata silap2 anak akan tanya "Kenapa mak, pandang2 macam tu?". Kalau anak remaja sikit, kena tegur sikit silap haribulan tak tegur kita seminggu. Bayangkan kalau memiliki keluarga yang tidak dirancang?

Kemahuan dan keperluan anak juga sudah berubah. Dulu kita seronok bermain tarik upih, galah panjang, atau baling selipar. Sekarang, nak beli mainan baby pun harganya boleh mencecah puluhan ringgit. Itu belum lagi yang mahukan handphone. Internet sudah menjadi kemestian. Kalau kita mahu terlalu menyekat anak, nanti psikologinya pula akan terjejas. Manakan tidak, di sekolah kawan2 yang lain semua bercerita tentang apa yang dia tiada. Janganlah katakan anak, ibu bapa zaman sekarang pun dah sibuk berfacebook dan lain2 kan? :)

Jadi sebagai kesimpulan, merancang keluarga ni perlulah dilihat dari sisi positif. Jika nak memulakan bisnes online pun kita punyai bermacam2 strategi, takkan ingin menjaga amanah Allah yang satu ini kita boleh bersikap sambil lewa? Dan perlulah difahami bahawa merancang keluarga bukanlah semestinya kita mengehadkan anak kepada jumlah yang sedikit. Kita masih boleh memiliki 4-6 orang anak, asalkan biarlah setiap satunya DIKEHENDAKI.

Wallahua'lam...

* Teringat kisah seorang kakak di lab yang sudah mempunyai 5 orang anak, setiap satu jaraknya dekat2. Selepas kelahiran anak ke 5 doktor suruh si kakak ni melakukan IUD atau ikat terus. Paling tidak buatlah implan. Agak marah juga doktor tersebut. Tapi kakak ni rileks je dan cakap, "taknak lah sebab saya nak anak lagi". Walaupun anaknya rapat2, tapi setiap satunya memang dikehendaki :)