My master journey: Among the hardest path I'd chosen (PART 3)

You can read  part 1 here and part 2 here

Only hubby and me. One more ticket for mom tapi dia asthma time ni. We sengaja tak allow sesiapa family member nak datang kalau takat tunggu2 luar sebab nak cepat. haha. Macam tanak konvo je kan.

I went back to Malaysia twice to settle my thesis and study. The first time was just after a few months in Oman, as soon as I finish my drafts for 2 chapters. I didn't take long Alhamdulillah after the hard head start. No choice but to go back to Malaysia to make discussions easier. I then decided to stay until I complete thesis submission.

Sounds nice, but of course the kids followed me. So basically I had to face the exact same thing i.e. a single mom, student, and a thousands miles away wife! But family members were always there to help. I can't thank them enough, really.

I submitted my whole thesis after 2-3 drafts for each chapters. Each one with different corrections from both supervisors. The most challenging part in this phase was always to find agreement between all parties. Hahaha. But that's one life lesson worth to keep. 

For all that I'd been through, I thought my thesis would end up as a piece of crap. How can I produce a Scientific Thesis with a quality like this? I can't imagine how screwed I'd be when my supervisors and all the examiners read my work. 

But Alhamdulillah, I passed with only minor corrections! the correction that I took about less than 3 weeks to amend. 

My baby, and a piece of notes I did during my early years of study. Still keep it.

So now, is the article publication part. UM has the requirement where a Master student must publish at least one article to ISI-listed journals only. And based on my labwork grant, I have to submit to either Q1 or Q2 listed jounals only. For those who's not familiar, scientific journals are divided between Quartile 1 until 4 based on its ranks and Impact Factors, with Q1 being the highest grade (I'm not sure other fields but this applies to most Science and science-related field).

So although I had already submitted my thesis and the internal and external examiners had let me pass, I can't straight away graduate until I have a publication. 

As stated in the regulation, I can't even get my thesis for correction before I send proof of paper acceptance. Since I took almost a year to get ONE publication (Hahaha too bad, not a bombastic research), my thesis was put on hold for that entire time. That's when I multitask ehem.. for another ehem... baby- Eve Hawwa! (^_^)

My supervisor's strategy was to target the Q1 journal first. 3 attempts and all failed, I begged to her to downgrade to Q2 to make my life less like hell. Haha. I promised her to look for a decent Impact Factor (IF) although it's a Q2 (politics mannn, haha. and It worked!). Alhamdulillah, the 4th attempt of paper submission, which was my 1st attempt of Q2 journal was successful. Not so bad huh. Not bad at all. 

Oh butttt... you have to wait for sometimes to get a reply (depending on the journal's prerequisite). It can take up to a month and can even reach half a year or more just for a journal's reply! 

So, I learnt the hard way. After the 2nd failure, I didn't just opt for journals that have good IF, but also how long it'd take to process your submission. Average waiting was 2-3 months for each trial, regardless of the result; accepted or rejected! From my experience, only one of them managed to reply within a month and half. So altogether, almost a year of just waiting for paper and nothing else. 

So for whoever had asked me why I still didn't graduate while I already did nothing (neither do the labwork nor writing my thesis, this is why) 

Another tips for Science student: Always try to submit your paper once you got your result done! 

That's why there's no last minute work dude!

You got your result, do discussion ASAP and you can try to submit a paper. You'd never know how long you'd take to get it accepted.

Mine, I got my paper accepted a week or two before I delivered Hawwa! It felt like I got two babies at once. Haha!

Paper tak best pon nak tepek jugakkkkk. Haha

I emailed my sv asking permission to hold it until I deliver. UM gave 3 months for final correction and since my correction was just minor she didn't worry much.

I flew to Malaysia when baby was around 40 days old. Again I brought my off-spring to be my companion in my jihad, but this time only one- the latest bundle of joy. The other two were left with dear husband. I knew the fact that I can't take a lot of time because husband can't take long leave. I made a dateline to make it maximum 3 weeks, and Alhamdulillah, after sleepless nights and days, we made it within 2 weeks’ time. But I had to wait again till end of the year to graduate (the ceremony). I don't care at all. You know, after all that you've been through, getting things done is the biggest relief.

What a sum up! Haha. ZzzZzzzzz.

So again, is it possible to study (especially the fields that require research and labworks) and being a mommy?

Of course! But please dedicate your time for your study, like what I said in Part 1.

And it doesn't have to take so long like my case. A lot of people (moms) out there have succeeded within the anticipated years. 

Difficult?

Everything we do has its own challenges. To be realistic, yes it's difficult. It takes a lot of courage and determination to do it.

But again, it is not impossible if you want it.

It is my destiny to have this path, to be tested stage by stage, from cutting scholarship before the agreeable due time, changing of research methodology after a year of research and labworks hence the wasted data, long distant relationship with husband, to having health issues. If my life was so easy, maybe I'd not be who I am right now. I may not appreciate hardships, I may not treasure 'Ilm (knowledge) as much as I do now. Indeed, Allah knows best.

I can't thank enough to the people who have helped me throughout the journey. They were indeed the reason I succeed, of course by the wills of Allah.

And I can't deny I had relinquished a lot of my parenting responsibilities along the time I'd taken to finish my study. That's why, in this particular event, Aaron is so special in my heart because he had sacrificed a lot for me. And now that I am a full time Rabbatul Bait, I am so happy to spend my whole time with my family. No regret, in fact, truly blessed! Alhamdulillah.

Carcosa Seri Negara

My Master Journey: Among the hardest path I'd taken (PART 1)

Two of my sisters are graduating this month! Congratulations. Brakallahu lakuma.

Last year, my other sister and I shared the same graduation year of our Masters Degree. She's in education, I was in Science.

...A celebration I'd rather choose to ignore at first. If not because of my husband who insisted we went back home and attended the convocation, my plan was to go for a vacation nearby, within Muscat is fine, and celebrate it just the 5 of us. It seems not worth the money to just go back for a day event all the way from Oman. But he insisted, reason being, I had worked hard for it, and it had given tremendous impact on our small family- The obstacles, tears, and sweats, the sacrifices, etc.

But Allah had a better plan for us. My husband was given a task in Malaysia for a week, and my graduation day was happened to be on Saturday morning the same week. We flew back to Oman that Saturday night.

You know, I've been wanting to have a special post about my master journey. I've been dreaming to write about everything precious along the journey and mannn I've waited for so long!

Even if I have the highest education certificate the world can offer, I am still a mother and my kids are my priority. 

I've been asked a lot of time how was it possible to be studying and taking care of children, especially towards the end of my Master journey where we were miles away from my school and family and without a helper. All at once. How did I do that?

People around me either think that I am a supermom, or a pathetic (not so) young woman who's trying soooo hard to fulfill her dream (or just say finish what she has started long ago).

But Alhamdulillah, I had positive surroundings and good support. (I chose to stay around positive people actually. Truth hurts, I know)

To say that I had no helper at all is actually not precisely correct. Honestly, I could never in million years finish my study without the help of people around me, directly or indirectly, especially some of my labmates and my own family members. I took care of Aaron in his 1st six month. I took a semester break. His Onni took care of him after that during the time I had to go to school and did my labworks. In the weekends, my husband helped take care of him or all of us would have a party in my lab. And when I was in Oman, some friends helped with the admin stuffs. Ijah, if you read this, I want you to know that I owe you so much! Barakallahu feeki.

During school holidays my sisters will take turn to come over to our house in Shah Alam to play with Aaron and helped me with chores. Having them in the house had made our days (especially Aaron) brighter. At least some one can play with him while I was busy in my own journal-reading world.

During my second pregnancy, I was miles away from my husband for almost a year. Life got tougher without him especially when juggling between motherhood and student life. I had started writing my draft while still doing my labworks (few re-arrangements and last minute changes I can't avoid). And my pregnancy symptoms were really bad. Nevertheless, I still had to go to the lab in the days and stayed awake most of the nights for writing. I slept for about 3-4 hours most of the time. With that and my pregnancy condition, mannn I was over-exhausted.

During the first few months of my LDR with my husband, Aaron was in the phase of weaning off . It was hard, really hard until my dad tak sampai hati and a lot of time asking me to just abort the mission. He was around 2 years and half and I was around 4-5 months pregnant so like it or not, I had to go ahead. I was trying to potty train him as well and I just couldn't take the stress out of it, so I aborted the  potty train mission.

I managed to finish my labwork before I follow my husband to Oman, not long after I delivered Saraa. Husband went back to Oman after paternity leaves and I had to finish my final tasks before following him there. I had post-delivery complication that took me more than an average time to heal. But I did come to the lab for final works, meeting ups and discussions during my last period of confinement. Technically speaking, I didn't really pantang pon

But this time the challenge was harder because I had two children already. I had to be very strict with timing. No lunch break most of the time and straight away home after work. But you know labwork, sometimes it takes a solid 6 hours for just an experiment! And some even take days to get just a result. But yes I didn't go on everyday basis.

Maryam Saraa being my supervisor, checking on my work every seconds, haha

For Part 2, Please click here. Thank you! eceh! ^_^

A Little conversation about almost everything!

Dear Aaron,

The urge of keeping this as part of your childhood memory is compelling and I think this is quite good since we don't really have close conversation between just the two of us since the day you arrived from your Spring holiday in Malaysia (alone).

I always believe that 'talking' is part of your strength. After all, your name is chosen after the name of Prophet Haroon, the one that was known for his oratory skill! (^______^)

I love to have conversations with you because I love the way you ask questions and trying to understand the whole topic. I don't mind scratching head to answer your tricky-yet-honest questions because I know you will eventually get the point and I always satisfy with the way you comprehend to my explanation. Alhamdulillah.

Like tonight. you couldn't sleep despite the tiring 3-days and nights full of activities. Hence, our bedtime routine became a little too long as we went into (seems to me like) a very serious, never ending conversation.

Aaron: Ummi, I can't sleep coz I am afraid.

Ummi: Remember, we should not be afraid except only to Allah

Aaron: Yes, Allah and Shaitan

Ummi: You should not be afraid of shaitan. Shaitan is just one of Allah's creation like you, me, Hawwa, trees, ocean, etc. So why do you afraid of shaitan?

Aaron: Because shaitan is strong too

Ummi: No it is not. Allah is the strongest. And you know, you are even stronger than shaitan....

Aaron: (interjected before I finish) I know I know. I can fight shaitan! Erm.... How? I forgot... Oh yes... I have to pray!

Ummi: Yes, and memorize the quran. That's why you have to read quran and memorize the surah. 

Aaron: But why shaitan afraid when I pray? he will go far away right?

Ummi: Because shaitan doesn't like when you pray to Allah and do what Allah asks you to do. Inshaa Allah, if you pray to Allah, Allah will protect you from shaitan.

Aaron: Ummi, Allah creates shaitan?

(Ummi nod)

Aaron: Us too?

(Nodding again)

Aaron: When did Allah create us? When we're born?

Ummi: Actually, Allah created you when you were inside your mother's womb

Aaron: Worm? is it good worm or bad worm?

(I think he got confused he thought I meant worm)

Ummi: It's not worm like the one that eat your teeth when you don't brush your teeth (haha I got him scared by saying cavity is worm to get him brush his teeth when he was smaller. I'll correct that later on)

Ummi: Its W.O.M.B its a sac. You know sac?

(Aaron shook his head)

Ummi: It's like a bag where baby stays there when he's inside his mom's belly

Aaron: I was there too when I was a tiny baby? Why baby stays there first?

Ummi: Because at that time baby was soooo small. he cannot feed himself, cannot move... He needs his mother's help to grow. Only when he's ready to live in the world, then Allah makes him out

Aaron: How does baby go out from the womb?

Ummi: Allah will make a way for it. There will be a tunnel and a hole to let the baby out.

Aaron: It comes out from the butt right? (I think I shouldn't say hole to make thing less complicated haha)

Ummi: Not butt

Aaron: Then? 

I was about to say it but I didn't hahaha.

Ummi: Somewhere close to butt but not butt

Aaron: I can't see it right?

Ummi: Yeah

Aaron: Why?

Ummi: It is not important for you to see it now. 

(But Aaron knew sometimes baby can't come out through the tunnel so the doctor has to cut the mom's belly to let the baby out. Just like his case)

Aaron: Errmmm....But I can't see Allah too? How is Allah looks like?

Ummi: I don't know how is Allah looks like. I can't see Allah too. 

Aaron: But you said we can see Allah after we die and after we alive again right?

Ummi: Yes. You want to see Allah?

Aaron: Yeah yeah!!

Ummi: Then you have to do good and be good. Only good people can see Allah in the heaven

Aaron: But then, where is Allah now?

Ummi: Allah has His own place

Aaron: Is Allah in the outer space?

Ummi: Erm... not really. (I was hesitate to answer this)

Aaron: Oh is Allah outside the earth?

Ummi: Yes. OK the most important thing is, if you want to see Allah, you must be a good boy OK?

Aaron: OK Ummi.

The conversation didn't stop here. There was some discussions about how when you use your brain you'll become clever and vice versa but I think it's going to be too long.

I don't know how on earth a 6 years old boy can bombard questions non-stop. He didn't even pause long from one question to another. Well I guess, because he's a kid hence he is still full of wonder. I bet most of us (moms and dads) have been in this situation right? They want to know everything so instantly as if they are going to sit for an exam!

Oh Allah please bestow us with wisdom and patience in raising our children. Ameen!

Parenting Tips: Lesson from Surah Yusuff, by Sheikh Sajid Umar (part 1)

Please feel tempted at this entry's tittle, because someone is trying to be an ustazah and start giving a lengthy lecture about parenting, please please! (Jerk. Haha). 

OK. For those who have no idea who this Sheikh is, you can read here. Basically, he is one of the Islamic speakers and lecturers in Al Kauthar Institute, an activist in Da'wah. Try to listen to one of his lecture in sha Allah you'll fall in love with the messages.

So a few weeks ago, he came to Oman and Alhamdulillah he was given a slot about Lessons from Surah Yusuf. I promised myself to share what I got with my husband, since he decided to take care of the kids while I was attending the lecture so that I can have full focus on the lecture. Barakallahu feek ya habibi, even I know this is one of your favorite sheikh. I consider that as my 'compulsory time-off' (which in sha Allah I'll write about this next time). And why I end up writing here is because my husband gives me a task to share this in public. I feel guilty to not accept his task considering his effort and sacrifice.... So please bare with this lengthy post and may we all benefit something from this. Ameennnn. 

#1. Sheikh started his lecture with the encouragement of attending 'majlis ilmu' (gathering for the remembrance of Allah). He recited a very powerful hadith from Sahih Muslim  as an eye (and heart) opener to motivate us all to keep busying ourselves attending this sort of gathering (or if not possible at least listen to lectures whenever we can). Note: It is the 36th hadith from the 40 hadeeth of Imam Nawawi - May Allah bless Xifu Nasser for his effort 10 years ago to make us memorize some hadith an easy and fun way!

Here is the hadeeth's translation:

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

Whoever removes a worldly grief from a believer, Allah will remove from him one of the griefs of the Day of Resurrection. And whoever alleviates the need of a needy person, Allah will alleviate his needs in this world and the Hereafter. Whoever shields [or hides the misdeeds of] a Muslim, Allah will shield him in this world and the Hereafter. And Allah will aid His slave so long as he aids his brother. And whoever follows a path to seek knowledge therein, Allah will make easy for him a path to Paradise. No people gather together in one of the Houses of Allah, reciting the Book of Allah and studying it among themselves, except that sakeenah (tranquility) descends upon them, and mercy envelops them, and the angels surround them, and Allah mentions them amongst those who are with Him. And whoever is slowed down by his actions, will not be hastened forward by his lineage.

[Muslim]

#2. Parenting starts before marriage! 

- Seek knowledge as much as we can, even when we are still single. 

- But it is never too late to start good parenting, and in fact, we have to always improve our parenting skills.

** Sheikh suggested us to have a thinking day!

 -i.e. A moment where we muhasabah ourselves so that we can keep ourselves in track, re-think, re-do and re-correct things that we have regretted along the journey. 

#3. 1st TIP from Surah Yusuf, 12: 4 - Intimate relationship between a father and his child 

إِذ قالَ يوسُفُ لِأَبيهِ يا أَبَتِ إِنّي رَأَيتُ أَحَدَ عَشَرَ كَوكَبًا وَالشَّمسَ وَالقَمَرَ رَأَيتُهُم لي ساجِدينَ

When Joseph said to his father, ‘Father! I saw eleven planets,1 and the sun and the moon: I saw them prostrating themselves before me.’

Allah doesn't start this story with 'Once upon a time'. Instead, He starts with this ayah above. A very straight forward story about a boy who always refer to his father whenever he's in dilemma: A boy who trusts his father and prefers his father more than anyone else!

Instead of going to his 11 brothers, or his peers similar his age, Yusuff (AS) went straight to his father after he got a very confusing dream. This shows how intimate this father-child relationship is. 

BE A GOOD FATHER AND INVOLVE IN YOUR CHILD'S LIFE!

COME WHAT MAY, YOU ARE YOUR CHILD'S HERO...

In this life, we have 2 roles, 

(1) mandatory role - Being a child, parent, mom, dad, etc

(2) elective role - us as a career person (doctor, cook, banker, teacher, etc), voluntary work, etc.

-DO NOT let your elective role overshadowing your mandatory role!

-You are the best teacher to your children.  Sheikh reminded us to NOT pass on our responsibility to others. Don't  just rely on school, society, strangers to be your kids' teacher.  

Children learn from us, parents. So set up good examples for them to follow.

For instance, in this ayah, Yusuf (AS) called his father يا ابت, which means my dearest dad (some technical arabic nahu/grammar with the ت behind the اب that indicates the softest, most honorable tittle). Because, when we read the next ayah, Prophet Ya'qub calls his son with the softest call, يا بنى (my dearest son). 

Respect and trust are earned. We want our children to respect us, we have to first show how respect is. And trough a fond relationship, inshaa Allah trust is earned too. 

#4. 2nd TIP from Surah Yusuf, 12:5 - Effective communication and respect your child's intelligence

قالَ يا بُنَيَّ لا تَقصُص رُؤياكَ عَلىٰ إِخوَتِكَ فَيَكيدوا لَكَ كَيدًا ۖ إِنَّ الشَّيطانَ لِلإِنسانِ عَدُوٌّ مُبينٌ

He said, ‘My son, do not recount your dream to your brothers, lest they should devise schemes against you. Satan is indeed man’s manifest enemy.

Prophet Yusuf (AS) was a small child (less than 7 yrs old according to mufassirin) when he had that dream. But prophet Ya'qub (AS) addressed the matter in a proper way albeit dealing with just a small boy. He kept his son informed with the right information in an effective way, even for the heavy topics e.g. about SATAN. You know why? 

Because Prophet Ya'qub didn't know how much time he had to be with his child. 

So do us. We are unsure of how much time we have with our children, right?! Why not start now. Teach our kids about Allah, tauhid, shaitan, shirk, etc.

We want to wait for the right timing but when is the right timing? Are we sure we have the future to give guidance to our children?

So perhaps, instead of waiting for the right timing, why don't we make the timing right. How? 

by effective communication!

We surely can learn effective communication from this ayah, mashaAllah! 

-to give command --> to explain --> to guide

Lets look into this ayah. First, Prophet Ya'qub commanded his son (do not tell your dream to your brothers). Then, he explained to his son the reason of his command (they will make plan against you). Next, he gave guidance to his son (shaitan is indeed man's manifest enemy). Our common mistake is, we tend to give order (command) but we don't explain, never mind to give guidance. 

HOW EFFECTIVE is his teaching?

Ahhaaa.... please read the 2nd part of this topic.
(I separate into 2 parts so that it doesn't look too long)

Assalamualaikum, a comeback entry?

Assalamu'alaikum wbt.

Last posting was 2 YEARS AGO can you believe it? Haha. (Actually what I couldn't believe is that I AM NOW updating my blog...Tadaaaa!)

Been missing blogging so much but no courage at all (and the truth is LAZY) to blog.

I know the fact that nobody really blog nowadays. C'mon, who has time to nagggggggggg nowadays? Everybody prefers tweeting and FBing. But for a person who always naggggggggg like me (oh so annoying ha that naggggggg thing. Stop it!), I think it is better for me to blog rather than nagging on FB and even instagram! (memang mak nenek insta pon caption bebel! haha)

NO. that is actually not the real issue. That was just a bad intro! The thing is.... urghhhh.... I think I need to blog to actually gratify myself. As much as it sounds so pathetic, I admit that sometimes, I lose myself. I lose my perspective. Been busy with the 3 angels and everything else, been sacrificing my social activities with friends and spending most of the time at home, oh I can be insane sometimes! Don't get me wrong, I am totally happy with my life. I am just stating the fact as a perfectly normal adult, sometimes we need other adults that can understand our language and rambles for our own sake. At least if I blog, I can pretend that I am talking to someone. Wei pathetic. haha. Husband must be smiling reading this, hopefully less nagggggging after this kan Sayang? haha.

And Oh, I forget very easily! Never mind about dates and days because that is so typical of me, but I don't really remember when was Eve's first crawl, or her first word, how much weight she (and the other 2) gains, and things like that. Psttt. I've even forgotten what I got for my last birthday! Maybe, I am just being realistic, that this is just how a normal life should be, that we not need to remember everything! Maybe, those things are important, but don't really matter. Maybe, I am getting old (that is for sure honey). But wouldn't it be sweet if I can just write down anything about them for our future reference? Because as of this moment, when I look back at my old posts, I never stop smiling reading about Aaron. 

OH. Forgot to tell you. Eve Hawwa is our 3rd angel! She is ermmm around 10 months old. wait. Sorry. Almost 11...Wait. She'll be 11 months old this 6 Nov (whenever that is).

And yeah, I also forget how to write. It took me a while to remember how to construct nice sentences. Ah you can see it already. haha. And I keep on asking 'what's the word.... how to say this' a few times.

And I think too much of whether or not I should keep this thing 'alive' again. What should I write about? Would it be too personal? Would it be too open? But then. I stop thinking and just go for it. We see how it goes and it doesn't matter anymore what I want to share. In the end, let just make myself happy (read: syok sendiri). And maybe see you again next couple of years from now. Haha! 

Till then,

May we always in good hands.

Oh. Let me show you our not so latest photo! 

Bye 

Istanbul, 2015

A dedication to all mothers in the world :)

Maryam Saraa's Aqiqah goodies tags.

"We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth" (46:15).

Everyone knows that a mother is the pillar of a family. She's everything to her family. You see, when we say everything, that includes being a mom, a friend, a doctor, a teacher, a chef, a housekeeper... Best description - a runner.

Being one person in many positions? Oh that's terrific! And don't forget to sum up all the wifey job! (^__^)

How many of us moms have to wake up early in the morning and don't even have time to have a nice proper breakfast because we have loads of things to settle in a very stiff hours? -bathe the kids,  prepare breakfast, hubby, prepare to work, send kids to nursery/school... yada yada yada...

How many of us sometimes can't even grab a single glass of drink when kids throw tantrums, fighting, or got hyperventilated/sugar rush etc?

And how many of us, sometimes crying quietly somewhere in the kitchen while preparing something because we are too tired or hurt, or maybe crying out loud alone in the car because we got frustrated with the kids behavior, asking ourselves what have we done wrong? Which parenting part did we relinquish? And then, reminiscing the good old days when the kids were smaller, on how beautiful they were as a small creature, and how we had showered them our undeniable, unquestionable love. Thus, hoping for something impossible like how we wish our growing teenagers to act less complicated just like when they were smaller.

Or maybe crying while having a shower, contemplating ourselves, hoping that one can understand how tired we are, how weak, hopeless kind of mom, and getting frustrated of our inability to stay stronger.

Alas, mothers, you are indeed not alone. If you think your inner voice is unheard, your loved ones aren't really care about how you feel and you sometimes behaving a wee bit emotional, just take a deep breath, take some moment to be alone and keep your head. Coz that's just part and parcel of motherhood. Other moms face the same thing too. Yes, we moms understand each other better. And we know that those sappy feelings are uninvited yet free to come but won't take long to leave.

Being a mother is like taking a full time job that doesn't allow you to resign. It is a restless, exhausting job with loads of responsibilities. Your working hour is from the moment you open your eyes until when you close them back to sleep. That doesn't include working extra hours pass your sleeping time due to fever bugs in the house, or finding solution for some family dilemma or for any other reasons only you know. 

Behold, 

For every difficulty a mother has to endure, every challenge that may seems so hard to tackle and every big responsibility she has to carry, being a mother is one of the most dignified profession in this world and in the hereafter. And it is surprisingly the coolest position you may have experienced. Despite all the unwieldiness, the never ending demand from the loved ones, and the craziness one could turn out to be when she becomes a mother (hehe), there are myriad pleasure you'd grasp throughout your motherhood experiences. And no matter how hard life would be, you'd stand tall and survive. You know why? Because you let yourself Redha with the sacrifices you've made and You lay your love on everything you do. You mothers, are indeed so super special and super strong!  

And if at any moment you feel unappreciated, alone, disgrace, exhausted.... Remember that as long as you Redha and Ikhlas, this is one of the many ways that can grant you Jannah!

It's a free ticket for us moms to enter Jannah!

And just to revitalize our spirit, sort of emboldening our motherhood vibes, lets remind ourself about the greatest reward that every heart's desires; THE JANNAH. 

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet, said, "Allah said, 'I have prepared for My pious worshipers such things as no eye has ever seen, no ear has ever heard of, and nobody has ever thought of. All that is reserved, besides which, all that you have seen, is nothing." Then he recited:-- 'No soul knows what is kept hidden (in reserve) for them of joy as a reward for what they used to do.' (32.17) (Book #60, Hadith #303 of Sahih Bukhari) 

*Now, imagine the best thing we'd ever want in this world, the best place we've ever been/imagine, the happiest moment you've ever had in your memory..... Jannah offers you so much more and it's beyond comparison.

These two ahli syurga are my syurga dunia.

Sharing is caring :)

Oooo who's head and fingers? :P

Assalamu'alaikum dear mommies! or mommies to b :)

Today I'd like to SHARE about SHARING. Yelah, sharing is caring kan? :)

Do you notice how your children will react when they are asked to share whatever they have in their hands? say, maybe their food, toys, or even adik? Hehe...

This is what normally comes from my son:

"Aaron Houdd, can I have some --------?"

"Cannot. It's mine!"

"Ok. Can we share?"

"Cannot! / I don't want!"

Or if its food, he'll sometimes reply like this:

"Cannot. I'm hungry!"

Oh boy!.

At first I was so worried. Then, I found an article about this from babycentre. It's actually quite normal for a kid his age, especially if he has strong character and background of high potency of being dominant (first or only child, taken care by close relatives, etc).

But as parents, we surely don't want this attitude to prolong until they turn older. right? Of course we want them to be generous and concern about others too. 

So here are some tips that may help in educating our children to be more generous. InshaAllah :)

1. Solat Jamaah - how is solat jamaah related to this topic? Oh its actually one of the best tool to educate our children to have more sensitivity towards others. As solat jemaah gives a lot of tremendous impact in our life, it also be able to teach our children about unity and responsibility. There's vast difference between a family who practice solat jemaah and a family who is not. If solat jemaah becomes one of family compulsory event, the family normally has no hurdle eating together, communicating and sharing other things as well.

2.  Eating together - Let's make a simple rule in the house. Nobody eats in front of the tv, or eating alone while others are home. Easy. If we eat together, we'll share the food. If the amount is little, everybody'd have small portion only, and nobody will left behind. My father always reminds us that if we want to spare food for someone, make sure we apportion the food before dining time, not spare it as if it's a leftover from anybody else. Eating together is also the best way to create good communication environment.

3. Sharing is OK. Nobody will lose - As parents, we have to always remind our kids that it's OK to share something that we have with someone else. A 2 year old kid might not understand about this, but surely he'll get the point later on. But make sure we- as parents or adults, have to initiate this routine. Remember, kids learn faster from observation! It's very contradicting if we ask our kids to share but we show to them the opposite attitude- e.g., eat snack in front of the tv alone, without even invite others to have it some. Or simply have our meal alone while our spouse/mom/sister is doing chores or reading newspaper.   

When I was small, I was taken care by my aunt (my dad's sister) with my 2 other siblings, 2 other cousins and her 5 kids. It was a big number right? Like a nursery! But my aunt is the best care taker ever! She'd taught us a lot of things, including SHARING. She is a perfectionist. Every time she cooks, she'd make an even portion to everyone - us, and her own kids. If she fried paratha or even cekodok and her kids got 3 pieces, the rest would get the same amount. Nobody would go to the kitchen and had the meal first. Everybody'd have his/her own portion and eat together. If someone got back from school and brought back a sweet, she'd divide into how many of us. If it wasn't enough for all of us, she'd take it and said that it's not enough for everyone so it's more appropriate if she took it and ate it. And we'd all agree. Hehe... 

I was also taught to always remember my other siblings when I want to buy some 'jajan' etc. If I had it just for myself, I had to finish it before I reach home. And don't mention about it. If not, then I'd to share with the other siblings. We used to live in a big family (our neighbors were our cousins) and some of us not so wealthy. It was not nice to brag about something we had but others just had to listen with -maybe- frustration or hope. Remember, kids way of thinking and priority is different.

Up till now (i'm old enough for this... I guess.hehe), if we want to celebrate birthday, or having our favorite chocolates, we would wait until everybody is around, or at least (like the chocolates) divide it evenly so that everybody will get the same amount and taste each flavor. Hahaha.... Somehow we enjoy doing it (gadoh2 main2 siapa banyak siapa sikit padahal dah bagi sama rata. And boleh tukar atas dasar suka sama suka.)

4. Sharing responsibility - By educating our children the true meaning of sharing, we are also teaching them to be more helpful. We can start teaching them by doing small chores together, or at least to tidy up their own belongings. If they make the mess, it's better if we ask them to help us clean up the mess-together. We can't expect kids to be fully responsible for what they have done, and so it's better to lead the cleaning process with them rather than just nag to them, hoping that they will do it by themselves. We can also ask them simple question like "Would you like to help me setting up the table?" or "Do you mind helping me hang the sejadah please?"... We can also encourage them to be responsible by throwing their own dirty diaper or trash into the dustbin, and keep their own shoes in the shoe cabinet. Don't forget to praise them and say THANK YOU and never ever redo the chores they've done helping you. If you really can't stand looking at the improper clothes they've helped you fold, redo it later when they're not around. And remember, they can't do it as perfect as us adult, but the main point is not to reach perfection. So don't complaint their work. They'll feel unappreciated.

5. Donate - I used to join comparative religion study back in university time. I'd the chance to join Christianity 'usrah', their mass event, and other important events too. I love being in the church. Everyone was treated as family. And you know what, the church was so lively every time they had an event. One thing I notice about the Christians, they encourage their kids to donate to the church from an early age. From what I'd noticed, the parents will give each of the kids certain amount of money and each of the kids had the opportunity to donate the money to the church. 

We are not educating our children to be silly, by simply giving our belongings to other. We are teaching them to be generous. So we have to work on it with explanations and strategies.

6. Family saving box - This is interesting. Apart from educating our children to do saving in her/his personal fund, why don't we create a fund who is under everyone's responsibility, and the profit will also benefit the family members. 

We have this since I was in school age. Everyone has to invest money. We do it on monthly basis. Of course the amount is not the same. Parents and adults (who is working already, or seen as wealthy enough. hehe) have to donate bigger amount than the school kids. For example, kids below 12 yo have to invest 50 cents per month, whereas adults have to invest RM2 or RM5 per month. Log book is necessary to maintain justice, transparency, etc. The money will be spent together on something everyone is agreed upon, but some amount will be carrying forward. In case somebody need to borrow the money, he/she can borrow from the family saving box but on one strict condition, must pay back :) We'd used the money for our family vacation in 2009 and everyone was happy and felt the contribution -not only rely on dad's money. Hehe...

It's a lot more other interesting ways to educate our children about sharing. Everyone is welcome to add up and SHARE the tips:) 

Selingan.... below is my son singing one of his favorite song "Flowers are red" he also sings "Allah knows" but tak larat nak upload byk2. Hehe...it was recorded in audio version but I can't upload it directly so I've no choice but to make a video out of it. main amik je gambar2 Aaron secara random :)

Oh,  the song is from Zain Bikha album entitled "Allah knows". A very interesting album for kids and adults too :)

When he calls us and we ignore...

Often hear that parents have to beware of whatever they want to utter, especially in front of the children... coz children learn from what they hear and see, and mostly from their everyday people around them?

Hah, I couldn't agree more....

Often when we're in the middle of conversation, the two of us, the daddy and the ummi talking, suddenly, there's small voice repeating after ours... Not all words of course, but surprisingly he hits the key words only... :D

 And since-I-don't-remember, he sometimes calls us Yanggg (abbrev. for Sayang), especially after a few attempt of calling and we don't answer/appear.... Or sometimes he just calls us that way whenever he likes.

Why bring kids to the mosque?

Masjid Negara - low quality of photo

Today is 12^th Ramadhan. I’d so far gotten the chance to perform Tarawih Prayer in the masjid (mosque) four times only. Aaron nowadays is not like Aaron a year back where I can perform solah as makmum while he played and crawled nearby. Aaron nowadays is a big boy already! (But he keeps claiming himself as baby). He runs, jumps, screams and cries whenever he likes. So, we must have new strategy to bring Aaron to the mosque.  We take turn.

Last Saturday, we went to Masjid Negara for Isya’ and Tarawih Prayer. Aaron was with the daddy for the first 8 rakaat. Then, I took him and let the daddy performed his Isya’ and 8 raka’at of Tarawih. This strategy is so far the best we could‘ve done and it was not bad at all. Apparently, many other parents did the same thing.

The question is, why bring kids to the mosque? They are still too young to enjoy the solah and in fact, they may interrupt the praying and other makmum as well.

My answer is simple:  Exposure. Ramadhan is, if I could say, the only month we are willing to spend our time go to the masjid (mosque) with sincere heart, without force. It’s the night where families congregate and go to the mosque to perform the solah together. It’s the night where we can meet relatives, neighbors, and friends. And it’s 30 nights! So you have 30 times of chances to go to the masjid and feel the excitement of the Ramadhan night (the prayer of course).

This is a good time to let our kids gain exposure of solah berjemaah. They may feel excited about the new environment. If usually they pray with us in the house, they now have the chance to see muslims from all races gather and perform the prayer together. It could also be a factor to uplift their spirit to perform the solah and make it as a routine, inshaAllah.

But kids will always be kids. They love to express their emotions out loud. They love sports in any kind, especially those involving racings like running. And they hate rules, especially those rules that seem to restrain them, physically and mentally. As masjid is the place full of serenity and most importantly is the place for Ibadah (solah), kids appear inappropriate to be in the masjid. Why? Because kids are noisy, and that against the rules.

That’s why parents have to be intelligent. Bring along all the kids’ necessity. Toys, books, drinks, pillow… But don’t expect too much. Kids will be kids. This is just to simplify your work, and decrease the chances of your kids getting frenzied.

 And it’s good to choose the big masjid that has bigger space at the back or outside so that the noise won’t really affect the makmum.

But if you think this will decrease you level of khusyu’ in solah (you can’t concentrate because you have to watch your kids and keep wondering whether they are all right with your spouse), then it’s better to perform solah in the house. InshaAllah, there’ll be next time.

But I personally don’t like the claim where kids in the mosque will disturb praying. Tell me, can you concentrate whole-heartily in a mute place? Really? Cause I can’t. I am an ordinary human being. I can’t achieve 100% concentration in my solah despite the soundless places. Yes I know we are not talking about 100% concentration here. We are talking about the chances of getting our concentration lesser. But it’s not fair to the kids as well if we put the blame on them while we by ourselves can’t achieve total concentration in our solah effortlessly. Come on! Let’s give the kids some prospects to feel the excitement of solah in the masjid (in their own way). It’s a good start for them to become accustomed to visit the mosque.  

And what about the parents who want to join solah berjemaah in the masjid but don’t have anyone else to take care of their children? They also want to feel the excitement, the nikmah of Ramadhan which comes only once a year. Give them a chance as well.

If you ask me, I am so delighted to see vibrant atmosphere in the masjid. It shows that the masjid has played its role in uniting the ummah, and obviously the best place to tighten ukhuwwah, shares happiness and educates children to the Islamic teachings practically. With all ages and all races of human in one roof performing the ibadaah, I feel so real. Islam is for all right?

P/s:  So to the caretaker of the masjid (mak guard actually), please don’t be so mean and kerek OK. In real daily life pun standard kan solah bising2 bunyi tvla, orang cakap2 la… Silap2 selalu kat surau pun orang besar yang bising. Bukan budak kecik.

P/s 2: can’t wait this coming Saturday. We plan to have iftor together (big family). Later I’ll upload more photos, inshaAllah.

Baby's safety VS Baby sale

Every wife would be very happy to know that she is pregnant. Regardless of how many times she has undergone pregnancy, each time brings the same joy to the family. However, the first time mom-to-be must be the most euphoric person on earth to have the chance to experience pregnancy. Everything must be perfect. Every detail must be in accordance to the plan.


It is totally OK to keep the whole lot in order. It’s OK to get early preparation for the new arrival of the family. But do you think it is OK to hook on baby’s preparation while at the same time the baby in the womb is taken less attention?


I am talking about one scenario that increasingly happens nowadays - Baby fair. Of course baby sale is awesome. It’s kind of a must for every mom to shop at baby fair these days. Mostly is because we can get almost everything in one roof. The price is quite reasonable though. But baby fair is always dense. The density is quite awful that you must bring along your mobile phone just in case you get separated from your company.  Cause there’s no way you could find them easily in the midst of a huge crowd.


So look at yourself, mommy. Are you fit enough to go to the fair? Will you tolerate the crowd? Can you gasp enough oxygen you have to share with other thousands of people around you? Remember, you are your baby shelter. If you are not comfortable, so does your baby.


I have a friend who is nearly in 7months of pregnancy when she first attended the baby fair. She was so excited from the day she knew about the fair. She prepared the list, the money, except for one thing; the hubby. Her hubby works thousands miles away from her for two months, starting July.The hubby was reluctant to let her go. But she insisted. She cried, begged, pleaded, until she got a feeble yes from her hubby. She’d promised to go with a friend and never let herself in trouble.


So she went to the fair with her girlfriend. It was OK at first. She bought many things for the baby. She got almost everything stated in the list. And so, she was very happy.But after 2 hours or so, she started feeling uncomfortable. The fair was getting more congested. Shoulders to shoulders, two ways had become one. She started feeling nauseas. Her feet numbed. Her ankles sore. She’d almost faint!


Her girlfriend called me anxiously, didn’t quite sure what to do. I wasn’t nearby and I couldn’t come so I just gave some simple instruction to soothe our poor preggy friend.


I was mad. Really, really mad. I know she’s excited. I know this is her first time. Of course I know. But I couldn't tolerate her safety, her baby’s safety either. She told us to keep this from her hubby, which is also our friend. That made me even mad.


To me, it doesn't matter how big the sale is and how cheap we could get for the baby’s items, but if we don’t really suit to be in the congested area like the fair, just don’t go. Yes I know she didn’t know things would turn out to be that hideous. But at least she could predict that. Of course she could. She’s 7 month old pregnant. And her husband is away. What if anything happen to her? That’s the main reason why her hubby was so reluctant to let her go.


You know, there’s always next time for baby sale. But there’s no next time for you and your baby’s safety. Same goes to the newborn baby. I still think big sale thingy is not a right place for a newborn baby.

 Wallahua'lam.

Oh Allah, please give me strength!

I have had a very long and tiring day these days!

He refuses to keep anyone to be his company, but only me.
     He demands attention and not interested in sharing me with others!
          I could't move an inch without him clinging and tugging on me. He'll do whatever it takes to stay close to me.

He becomes a picky eater, very very picky that he barely takes any food for his meal
He'll pour and spread his food on the floor/couch. That's the only way he could have a big smile on his face during meal time.

Sometimes he doesn't want to bathe or wear clothes, never mind to get his hair comb.

He doesn't want to stand up, let alone to walk.

He cries aloud and a lot...
He'll cry when he want something he couldn't reach
He'll cry when he lost me from his sight
He'll cry for no reason at all!
Oh, there IS a reason,
He cries to get more of my attention!

Everything is about him
My whole world revolves around him

He has power, and he rules

...And when I spill my tears, he'll give a big smile of him and immediately convert the tears with his saliva that he left through his bunch of kisses all over my face... He knows exactly how to soothe me.

He is indeed, my only little boy... Ever growing, ever charming, ever loving. 

In the know: Baby walker

So happy running, yet still tatau walking

Mobile baby walkers are not recommended, because they are dangerous and associated with many injuries. In addition, they may give babies too much support and therefore slow the acquisition of balance and the muscle strength needed in the legs for walking....

Lagak seperti dah besar budak kecik ni

Recent research has shown that using baby walkers can be associated with delayed onset of independent walking. Your baby still needs plenty of opportunity to walk barefoot. This will give him a greater sense of stability as it brings his feet into closer contact with the walking surface and allows him to adjust the position of his feet easily.

Eh, dah besar laaa... Dah sama panjang dgn Nu. 5 tuuuu!

The Wonder years by Dr. Martin Ward Platt

Kids are dauntless, adults?

One thing I really adore about kids is their passion to learn something, and their effort to try on everything....

Kids have a 'never give up' attitude. They love to explore. They wonder about many things around them. They do not afraid of taking risk.

Kids are very committed on their missions. They are not afraid of failure.They have no problem to fall, because they'll always get up and strive hard to improve their previous weaknesses.

That's how they learn to crawl, walk, talk, and run for their first time of their life.... those attitudes are the reason why they succeed....

We adult, often think kids are naive. They know very little about life....

But we are certainly wrong if we think we are braver and more superior.

We hate adaptation

We often give up when we fail. And sometimes it takes a mountain of courage for us to revive.

We afraid to take risk. Our conscious is always 'What if I fail/wrong?'

We are easily be defeated by our mistakes. We become paranoid and mystified.

MY SON.... IS MY INSPIRATION.....

When I was alone, in the middle of difficulties, with a thrown heart of mine, and couldn't find any strength to perk my life up.... Suddenly, I remember my son. I could see his cute face smiling to me, and his efforts toward achievements were all dredged up... And so my sorrow had faded away...

MY SON... IS MY INSPIRATION....

Ummi saye kate, say NO to TV!

Kawan - kawan, cuba teka apa Aaron Houdd tengah buat?

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V

Tadaaaa! --> Tengok TV lah!

Ummi cuma bagi Aaron tengok tv during breakfast and lunch time aje. Itu pun Ummi kate, sebab selalu Aaron susah makan....So, Ummi kate if I skip my meal time, means I skip my TV time as well....

(Ummi Aaron tu garang kan?)

Ummi kate, budak-budak tak boleh di ajar tengok tv (Well, Aaron kan masih baby... Itu pun kira ke?)

Ummi kate, kalau parent busy, selalu bagi anak dia tengok tv sorang-sorang. Nanti lama-lama anak diaorang akan busy jugak (tengok tv) and dah kurang masa untuk parent dan anak-anak main sama-sama...

Ummi kate lagi, pelajaran paling efektif adalah melalui komunikasi 2 hala. Kalau nak anak belajar melalui tv pun boleh, tapi provided parent pun kena guide sama... (Patut la Ummi pun selalu tengok Barnye and Sesame Street dengan Aaron.. Ummi tu macam baby lah)

Ummi kate, tv tu banyak negative impact kepada budak-budak, tak kisahla dari segi pemikiran ataupun perlakuan. So parent kena guide anak-anak mereka supaya tak main belasah aje semua jenis cerita...

Ummi kate lagi, Aaron membesar dengan cepat! Masa terasa cepat sangat berlalu.... Kalau Ummi tak habiskan banyak masa dengan Aaron time sekarang ni, bila lagi Ummi akan ada baaaannyakkkk masa dengan Aaron?

Ummi nak rasa puas dan bahagia besarkan Aaron (yang banyak songeh ni)...

Herm.... Banyak nye Ummi kate! Boleh ingat ke kawan-kawan?!

Aaron's fav lullaby...

In your name, Oh Lord, I lay to sleep
to rise in the morning, by your leave.
If you take my soul from me as I rest
please forgive me.
And if I wake in the morning again to a new and bright day,
then I pray you will always guide me
upon the straight way.

La ilaha illAllah, La ilaha illAllah
Subhanallah walhamdulillah
Allahu Akbar.
La ilaha illAllah, La ilaha illAllah
Subhanallah walhamdulillah

Song by: Dawud Wharnsby Ali

p/s: Tapi Ummi Aaron kena tukar sikit melody bagi lebih lembut dan rilex. Hehe
Allahu Akbar.

Kisah Aaron dan Mujahid

Harini kami pergi beraya ke beberapa rumah.... Antaranya adalah rumah Kak Su (my labmate). Hajat di hati, selain nak beraya, nak visit baby Kak Su, Amar Mujahid. Last jumpa was couple of months ago. Dah lupe muka Mujahid macam mana...

Petang, baru kami sampai ke rumah Kak Su. Aaron Houdd dah mengantuk sangat sebenarnya. Mana tak nye, Ummi and Daddy beraya, berborak, dan makan, Aaron pun join sama. Mata dah kuyu pun tak nak tidur jugak....

Bila masuk rumah Kak Su, dengar suara Mujahid, Aaron Houdd dah mula usha-usha Mujahid. Kami pun letak Aaron dan Mujahid dekat-dekat, nak tengok apa reaksi mereka...

Tuuu diaaaa.... mereka berborak sakan! Ntah apa diborakkan tak tau lah. Tapi bersahut-sahutan. Tapi tak lama tu, intonasi masing-masing mula berubah. Aaron pun mula pandang-pandang Ummi dia dan bercakap (mengadu) dengan mimik muka macam tak puas hati. Lepastu, Mujahid pulak menangis. Tak lama, Aaron pun ikut merengek....

before gadoh...

Bila keadaan mula tegang... hehe

Agaknye.... dorang bergadoh pasal perlawanan bola sepak kot. Tak pun, pasal F1... Ke, pasal siapa lebih hero ekk? ('',)

p/s: InsyaAllah next weekend nak bawak Aaron jumpa Amin pulak. Tu sorang lagi gang dia lah tue.... hehe...