Saturday, February 20, 2016

Parenting Tips: Lesson from Surah Yusuff by Sheikh Sajid Umar (Part 2)

So this is the continuation of Parenting Tips: Lesson from Surah Yusuff (part 1)

#5. 3rd TIP from Surah Yusuf, 12:5: Teach your kids about tauhid

وَكَذٰلِكَ يَجتَبيكَ رَبُّكَ وَيُعَلِّمُكَ مِن تَأويلِ الأَحاديثِ وَيُتِمُّ نِعمَتَهُ عَلَيكَ وَعَلىٰ آلِ يَعقوبَ كَما أَتَمَّها عَلىٰ أَبَوَيكَ مِن قَبلُ إِبراهيمَ وَإِسحاقَ ۚ إِنَّ رَبَّكَ عَليمٌ حَكيمٌ
That is how your Lord will choose you, and teach you the interpretation of dreams,1 and complete His blessing upon you and upon the house of Jacob, just as He completed it earlier for your fathers, Abraham and Isaac. Your Lord is indeed all-knowing, all-wise.’

OK. Do you remember the life story of Prophet Yusuff from the day he received the dream until the day he was being reunited with his father and brothers? 

Do you remember the obstacles that Yusuf (AS) had to endure along his prophet-hood journey? 

Please read the translation of Surah Yusuff so that you will understand how is these 3 ayaahs (12: 4 - 6) relate to the whole surah, and relate to the best fundamental parenting tips we can benefit from, inshaa Allah.

In the meantime (to not make this post look unfinished, hehe) lets review the significance of this ayah.

إِنَّ رَبَّكَ عَليمٌ حَكيمٌ
Your Lord is indeed all-knowing, all-wise.’

This is the ayat about TAUHID, about Allah, the ayat that Prophet Ya'qub taught his son, the ayat that had built faith in Yusuff.

Short and simple word, BIG impact!

Yusuff was a small boy when he was abducted from his father. Now, imagine our small child at the age of 5, 6 or maybe 7. Imagine if someone kidnapped him/her, or bring him/her away from us. Nauzubillah min zalik. Yes, even to imagine, we simply can't!

But this is what had happened to Yusuff (AS)! 
But Yusuf had a proactive father that gave him wisdom even from a young age. Because of that,  by Allah's will, Yusuff survived the tests.

When he was all alone, in a dark, at the place where he thought nobody would know he was there, indeed. Allah knows! He is all-wise!

Then he was brought away from his country, a foreign land to him. He must had been scared, and his father didn't know where he was, how he was, and he was all alone, but no, he wasn't alone, for Allah was with him, and Allah is all-knowing!

When he was tested with an attempt of adultery, where nobody was around but only him and a woman who was willing to surrender everything for him, while he was a young man with desire, he chose to ran away. Indeed, he knew, Allah is all-knowing. Allah is 'Alim, Allah is Hakeem!

And then when he was imprisoned while he was innocent, yet nobody helped him and stood up for him. Did he feel despair and hopeless? Indeed, he knew that Allah knows, Allah is 'Alim, Allah is Hakeem!

This, many audience broke into tears! 
Allah is so close to Yusuf's heart. He has strong faith in Allah.
And who taught him that? His father.
When? when he was just a small kid!
And what about us?
If we think our kids are still small to understand, and we don't make an effort to even try, how can we sure that when our kids are in their teen age; the age full of wonder, desire, and bravery, they are capable of restraining themselves from the tests? How can they have Allah in their heart?!

Yes, for some reasons the western researchers say that young kids should not be burden with too much info, heavy info, etc. (I just read about this a few days ago mashaAllah!). But what this surah teaches us is to not rebuke our kids' intellect. They are born in fitrah, and they can understand knowledge about tauhid. (Of course this is a story about two prophets, one as a father and another one as his son, and of course we can never be at par with them. But that is not the point. We just need to try and re-try. Make effort)

#6. The teaching of kind heart and forgiveness.

During the end of the story, Yusuff was reunited with his brothers and father. At that time, he was a minister in Egypt, his brothers came to him for protection. What did Yusuff do? 

Despite what they did to him around 50 years or so ago, he forgave them!
Yes, Yusuff forgave the men that abducted him and separated him from his beloved father and brother (Bunyamin).

Surah Yusuff, verse number 100. Yusuff (AS) said that Satan induced his brothers. He forgave his brothers, because he knew his brothers were under the influence of satan. He blame the satan.

Remember we talk earlier about effective communication?
Prophet Ya'qub told Yusuff about not telling his brothers about his dream because he afraid his sons will get jealous (under the influence of satan)

Now... even after 50 years, Yusuff (AS) still remember the teachings of his father.

Most of us remember Yusuff as a handsome man. That is what we've been taught since small. But little that we aware that he is not just a good looking man, but also a man with good heart. 

He held no grunge against his brothers, and other people that cause trouble in his life.
{So after this, please don't just tell story about Yusuf, the handsome prophet, was seduced by a woman. Tell the story until finish. There is more to learn about the life of Yusuff (AS)}

#7. Our children are our assets in the hereafter.
This statement is debatable but let just be positive. Sheikh talked about the famous hadeeth about 3 deeds that benefit us even after we die; 1) Our continuous/ongoing sadaqah (donation), 2) knowledge which is beneficial, 3) The prayers from our pious children (HR Muslim).

Guide our children the Islamic way. Teach them manners, and do not be overprotective towards small things (i.e. let our kids know about responsibilities, knowledge, etc). Let them make mistakes through learning while we are around so that we can correct them. If we are too afraid to see them make mistakes through life lessons, how can we correct them when they make mistakes while we are not around anymore?

Prepare our children to be among the pious mankind, and may we have the benefit through the prayers from our pious children when we are gone.

I am so sorry I am not a good narrator. I think  for a better understanding and knowledge, you can watch Sheikh Sjid Umar's lecture on Youtube. I am sure you can benefit more knowledge first handed.

As for me, even after almost a month attending this lecture, my heart throbs when I imagine how Sheikh delivered his speech. Very powerful, and emotional. And I realize, there are a lot for us (my husband and I) to improve.

May Allah give us wisdom to raise our children, and may we have sabr with us all the time :)

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