Mood merapu sikit

Hi there,

How are you? how's ur Imaan? Hope everything is good.

I have promised myself to share about my birth experience. But I think it just not the time yet. I assume I may take 2-3 posts merely about that precious moments, starting from pre-labor, in labor and post-labor. See, so lot of things to say and share, hence, considering my fluctuate mood swing (dah fluctuate, swing lagi. hee) I'm having right now, I just don't get the mood to go into that, not just yet. inshaAllah soon :) Well, it may not be that important to u girls but the experience has given me a platinum of lessons so it will be very sad if I don't record it in my blog and let the blazing sensation of the feeling slip away slowly.

Today, as I am starting very-very-very slowly on my thesis writing, trying to get into the right atmosphere and focus on the right thing, I guess all I can say is...Well, it's kinda good head-start for a mom who has to read tonnes of articles and catching up the lost idea concurrently, plus has to play with my brilliant little baby who knows exactly how and when to catch her mom's attention... Haha. Tell you what, As I started  reading a few paragraphs (only), I'd to pause myself for a while right away, searching for the familiarity of the words my eyes had captured, before I can continue to the next paragraphs. Oh there are times where I'd to re-read the same paragraphs a few times to understand what on earth I was reading. Urghhh... My brain is getting incompetent and apparently I'm getting older. Huhu...

Speaking of old... Hmmm... this word has brought me to suddenly visit my blog. This very meaningful word.

We grow older day by day

And now, 2012 is near to the end...

I suddenly feel very sad... Coz I see no achievement in myself.

In terms of spiritual ability and awareness - none. I think I am a shameful useless servant (literal translation as a human being. u know what i mean? no fancy words, just go literal)

Da'wah activity - nope. very little as compared to what I could do coz I am a healthy muslim. no excuse.

As a wife? U can ask my hubby how terrible I am as a wife ( OK. don't ask him. He won't tell the truth. hehe)

As a mom? Hahaha.... I think I am far from being a good mom. Aaron Houdd... that boy, a lot of things need to settle with him. Maryam Saraa... too early to tell, but if I can compare, I was much better in handling Aaron Houdd when he was in Saraa's age. 

career achievement - funny enough if I can translate it into a graph, it actually slunting downwards...Urgh. So sadly sad. heee...

money? Oh I am a jobless person so I definitely am no a rich lady.

Suddenly feels like a loser T_T

Hey, Can I say that having kids (precisely a new one this year) as an achievement? Coz other than that.... I don't think I have any....

OK. get back to what I should do right now.... c ya later.

Currently listening to this boy. Hmmm.... this is something I need to improve too... My heart. I need to fix it. times flies, but why on earth I still can't fix thing as it should be? I am a mom... but still. sometimes.... very into music. Haha... ada hati nak anak hafal Quran tp mak curik2 dengar lagu2 lagha belakang anak.

btw: love this song so much.