Aaron: The final Ramadhan week

Hi friends, How's your Ramadhan? I'm doing good so far Alhamdulillah. I've got the chance to sahoor with my parents almost every morning. I volunteer myself to wake Ummi and Daddy up so that they don't miss their sahoor. I want to be an anak soleh. :P


Anyway... do you know that we are now in the last phase of Ramadhan month? I heard Ummi told Daddy this : "Alhamdulillah we've been given the chance to reach the final week of Ramadhan. Its the week where among the nights is a night better than a thousand months"

In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful We have indeed revealed this (Message) in the Night of Power: And what will explain to thee what the Night of Power is? The Night of Power is better than a thousand months. Therein come down the angels and the Spirit by God's permission, on every errand: Peace!...This until the rise of morn! -Surah 97 The Holy Qur’an.

It is called laylatul Qadr, the most blessed night. It falls sometimes within the last ten days of Ramadhan.

"Seek it in Ramadan in the last ten nights. For verily, it is during the odd nights, the twenty-first, or the twenty-third, or the twenty-fifth, or the twenty-seventh, or the twenty-ninth, or during the last night." Sahih Hadith Ahmad 5:318

This night is full of reward and blessing and is equivalent to a thousand nights of worship. Anyone who takes part in Laylatul Qadr will have worshipped an equivalent of eighty three years and three months. It is as if a person has spent an entire lifetime in non-stop worship!

“Whoever stays up (in prayer and remembrance of Allah) on the Night of Qadr fully believing (in Allah’s promise of reward for that night) and hoping to seek reward (from Allah alone and not from people), he shall be forgiven for his past sins.” Sahih Hadith Bukhari / Muslim

But Remember, perform Ibaadah with sincere heart! :P

Oh, last night we went to the Blue Mosque for Isya' and Tarawih prayer. Oh I couldn't resist the attention I got from the sisters (and not to mention some brothers as well). Some of them asked Ummi's permission to have a few photos of me, and some even wanted to have photos with me. Ummi was just smiling and said yes. I was like, Oh noooo, not again! I heard them said 'Oh, cute' to me. What? I thought Ummi said I'm a big boy already every time I call myself baby. So shouldn't it supposed to be handsome instead?! Urghhh...

And Ummi also took a few photos of us there. Ummi said 7 years or so from now, if I don't want to perform my solah, she'll show those photos to me and say "Look Houdd, you were so dedicated in performing your ibadaah when you were so young. Don't you feel ashame of your own self?"
** Ummi is quite garang so I believe when the time comes, she'll say much more than that!"**

That's all for now. I would like to wish you all Happy Ibadaah in this last phase of Ramadhan, and Eid Mubarak!

Maaf zahir & batin

Buat sahabat tersayang. Redhailah pemergiannya

16/8/2011
Sekitar pukul 10 am:-

T: Aku cuak ni
Me: Awat?
T: Aku dah selesai kencing. Tapi ada air keluar lagi. Takkan kencing kot?
Me: Ye la tu kot. Org preggy kan terasa nk kencing jek. Kekadang rasa mcm tak lawas
T: Tapi aku rasa dah habis kencing dah
Me: Ko boleh control tak rasa air keluar tu? Kalau boleh rasa, maybe kencing la kot. Tapi kalau tak boleh rasa erm.... takut benda lain.
T: Dah la tadi aku rasa perot aku ni kejap2 mengeras

(Beberapa perbualan personal yang I tanya my friend konon nak investigate sebab musabab masalah dia, yang tak berapa elok dibualkan di sini. Hehe)

Me: Ko dah berapa bulan ni?
T: 35 weeks. Lagi 9 hari nak 36.
Me: Tu kira premature la kan. Ko jaga2 la sikit wei. Kalau boleh tahan la. Baby premature susah sikit. Lung devlopment tak complete lagi. Baby pun very weak and prone to infections.
T: Tula, aku dah risau giler dah ni. Takkan la dah nak beranak. Aku patut beranak 22/9
Me: Takkan air ketuban kot? ko rasa sakit tak?
T: Tak sakit pun. Tapi kawan aku cakap air ketuban boleh tumpah sikit2
Me: Ish, ko ni bia benar. Macam ni la. Ko amek je EL or MC harini
T: Malas la aku. Dah aku sorang je kat rumah...
Me: Ko pakai penti dulu, tengok beberapa ketika. Kalau masih keluar, then better ko pegi cek.

Sekitar pukul 4pm:-

T: Wei, aku dah on the way ke HTAR dah ni.
Me: Apsal ko dah nak bersalin ke?
T: Tadi aku sampai2 sekolah je basah kain aku. Air ketuban aku dah pecah. Ni aku baru keluar dari PPUM. Tapi PPUM tak nak aku sebab dorang cakap dorang baru pindah bangunan baru, peralatan banyak tak cukup. Takut kalau complication aku susah nanti...

Pukul 7pm:-
Me: T ko dah mcmner?
T: T kad wad baru register (skali Hasben dia laaaa)

Pukul 9:56pm:-
T: Aku kena warded. Doc inject aku ngn ubat matangkan paru2. Sakit giler. Pastu dia dok jolok2 aku, sentap weh. masa dia masukkan jari nk cek bape cm dah buka, sakit ko. Doc ckp nk tunggu sampai 36week. Aku dah sakit kerap2 ni. Dh 2cm buka.
Me: Oh, ko kena inject steroid. Nanti ko kena 2x inject. Aku dulu macam ko. Ikut pengalaman aku, kena warded 1 malam, pastu kena drip beberapa botol, monitor heartbeat baby, pastu esoknya dah boleh keluar. aku dulu pn kena. bukak 3cm tp pastu ok tu dh tutup balik.Tapi aku tak pham kenapa doc nk kena jolok2 ko utk tau bukaan? aku dulu dia tak buat smp sentap sgt pun.
T: Ntah la. tp mmg sakit. Oh boleh tutup balik ke?
Me: InshaAllah boleh. Tp itu kes aku la. ko aku tak tau mcmne nnt. InshaAllah ok kot. Ko jgn risau sgt. Ada pape ko bgtau aku tau

17/8/2011
T: Wei, baby aku dah lahir pukul 5:30 pg tadi
Me: Hah, dah lahir? Congratz. Awalnye, tak sabar2. Boy ke Girl?
T: Anak aku nak raya, dia cakap. Haha. boy, geng Aaron
Me: Aku nk melawat ko OK tak ni? Aku cuti ni semata2 ko beranak
T: Tak tahan la cuti sebab aku branak. Aku kt hospital. Anak aku kena tahan lagi, tak cukup bulan n jantung dia bergerak laju.Sian anak anku kat tngkat lain. Org lain lepas keluar labour room, baby semua kat sebelah. Huhu

(kami berbincang tentang breast pump sebab T bercadang nak beli. Last minute sebab tak bajet baby keluar seawal ini. Last2, I decide bg dia pinjam I punya jek. Jgn beli dulu.. Sebab? Herm... I tak tau, hati rasa mcmtu)

T: Baiknye ko nk bg pinjam dulu.
Me: Ko ni rilek je sms aku. Hebat betol tak penat ke?
T: Penat ooo meneran. Macam nak be**k ta*k keras and besar gile. Hahahaha. tak caye je aku telah berjaya meneran seorang manusia tadi

30 minit kemudian.
T: Weh, anak aku problem. Aku takde kat ward. Dia dlm NICU. Doc cakap dia tiba2 biru. Dia bernafas menggunakan alat bantuan pernafasan. Aku ngn Amin tengah tunggu dia. Aku dah cuak ni
Me: Yeke. Baby pramatang memang sensitif sikit. Lung tak berapa develop lagi. and very weak. Ko tenang beb. Many premature baby melalui saat sukar mcmni. And ramai yang end up dengan baik. Ko sabar la. Banyakkan doa. InshaAllah OK
T: Ko bayangkan la mana aku tak cuak. Tiba2 emergency alarm dia berbunyi, semua nurse berkejar2 kat tempat dia. Lepastu dorang tutup pintu. Aku tak tau apa jadi. Aku tak nampak pape. Aku takut tak sempat jumpa korang nanti sebab aku kat ward NICU.
Me: Peh, memang cuak. Takpe la, Sekarang ko fokus je anak ko dulu. Pepandai la kitorang bila sampai nanti

2.15 PM:-
Kami tiba di HTAR. I sempat tanya kawan2, dorang bawak present apa. Dorang cakap tak sempat beli sebab tak bajet. I pun cakap tak pe lah jangan beli dulu kot. And I tinggal je beg yg berisi breast pump dalam kereta... Tak tau la kenapa....

Tapi kami sampai lewat sedikit. So waktu melawat dah abis. Dah lama sangat tak visit orang kat gomen hospital sampai terlupa ada waktu melawat. Kami nak minta guna pas tapi tak guna pun sebab T and suaminya masih di NICU. NICU hanya benarkan parents sahaja masuk. So memang takleh jumpa T. So kami pulang dengan hampa...

8:58 PM:-
T: Doc cakap anak aku tenat :-(
Me: Yeke, doc cakap apa lagi, baby ko mcmner?
T: Sel darah putih dia rendah sangat. 1.9 je.
Me: Bila last ko cek up haritu? Masa tu takde pape detect complication kan?
T: 3 weeks ago. tu pun cek kencing manis. Aku patut jumpa balik last week, tapi aku tak pegi. Memang plan nak pegi esok sepatutnya...
Me: Herm... Ko banyakkan bersabar ye. And doa banyak2, Aku pun doakan untuk ko jugak, itu je yang termampu kita buat sekarangni... Wei, esok aku plan pegi UM half day je. Kalau ko nak aku datang and lepak sana ngan ko, bgtau je K. anything bgtau je K.

10:25 PM:-
T: Baby aku dah takde.....

Masa tu I sibuk tolong my mom basuh pinggan mangkuk sebab ada mini kenduri kat rumah. I tak baca sms tu. 10:29PM, T call dengan suara menangis yang memang I susah nak dengar dia cakap apa.... Yang bodoh nya, patut I boleh agak la kan kalau dah nangis2 mcm tu apa maknenya, tapi sebab I tak dengar dia cakap apa, I suruh dia ulang beberapa kali... I sangat menyesal sebab I patut boleh bayangkan apa perasaan dia nak cakap yang anak dia dah takde lagi.....berulang kali.....

And esok, I akan ke rumah dia seawal yang mungkin...
Sebab dia adalah my very best friend since form 1.

Kira-kira 1 tahun yang lalu, masa I pregnant Aaron, dia selalu cakap "Tak boleh jadi ni ko dah pregnant". I selalu jawab "Ko agak2 la beb, aku kawen dah dua tahun baru ada baby. Ko tu baru kawen,"

And T menunggu selama lebih kurang 2 tahun untuk dia pregnant. And kandungannya telah berusia 35 minggu lebih pada usia baby nya lahir.... Dan meninggal dunia....

T bukan macam I. Dia sangat suka budak. Kawen2 kalau boleh nak pregnant terus. Lagi2 la bila tarikh dia kahwin tu adalah tarikh I baru2 mula pregnant (cuma masa tu I tak cek up lagi so tak tau. A week or two after dia kawen baru I cek up and dah 7 weeks preggy).

And dia selalu cakap nak baby....

Pregnancy dia tak macam I. kitorang sangat kontra. I sepanjang 40 weeks preggy mabuk bukan kepalang. Dia rilek je. I punyalah susah makan, dia kaki makan sampai doc suruh control. I punyalah skema, baca macam2, menyebok nak tahu semua benda tentang pregnancy, baby and parenting, dia rilek je. Kalau nak tahu pape main ting tong I dekat facebook my hubby. I bukak kaunter pertanyaan kat situ. Pendek kata, dia memang rileks, Alhamdulillah sepanjang pregnancy, dia tak mengalami sakit2 and muntah2 macam I. Sampaikan dari kes kami chatting pada hari air ketubannya dia pecah, sampai la pagi sebelum anak nya tenat, dia masih rileks, cool and rock jek.... Boleh bergurau senda bagai.... Hinggalah anaknya tenat, barulah perbualan bertukar serius...

Allah lebih sayangkan baby mereka.
and I believe, semua ni pasti ada hikmahnya....
InshaAllah anak ini yang akan menjadi penunggu mereka suami isteri di syurga kelak...
I doakan, and I harap mereka redha dengan pemergian anak ini.

Setelah apa yang berlaku hari ini, I muhasabah diri. Lately Aaron sangat mencabar keimanan dan kesabaran. Seriously dia menjadi sangat manja dan banyak ragam. Sampai malam semalam I menangis and bercakap dengan dia time dia tidur, I minta dia tolong faham yang Ummi dan Daddy dia penat sangat. to some extend, kadang2 I saja bagi Onni jaga Aaron padahal I tak berapa busy, just because I tak larat sangat!


But after what had happened today.... I rasa sangat bersyukur... I rasa sangat bersalah pada Aaron and pada diri sendiri sebab tak menunaikan tanggungjawab dengan sepenuh hati. Tak apa lah Aaron dengan tantrum and meltdown nya. Yang penting I ada Aaron. I berkesempatan untuk merasai kehidupan sebagai seorang Ummi... I sangat bertuah....

And I doakan soon, T akan menyusuri jejak langkah ini juga... Menjadi seorang ibu....

His first passport and the semi-preparation

When I showed this to his Tok Daddy, Lola and Onnie, they all said the same things:-
1) He's so like a big boy.
2) So look like his daddy....

**********
I'm getting more anxious now. Things that bothering me in the days are now starting to slip into my nights. Urghh... ugly nightmares!

I'm still confuse upon my own reactions. Sometimes I'm happy... I can't wait the days to come. Other times, I'm not. I can't imagine how my life would turn out and more importantly, I can't predict the readiness of my own self. Awkward.

Three months could be very short. But it's enough to alter the whole lot.
All I could say is, I'm trying my best to suit myself to the sudden change. And I believe my hubby knows that well enough. I believe he knew.

Anyhow, Aaron Houdd must me the happiest person in the next few months. Because he'll be with his Ummi for 24/7.

P/S: This is just me writing my angst with the hope I can make myself feel better. (can I?)

Why bring kids to the mosque?

Masjid Negara - low quality of photo

Today is 12^th Ramadhan. I’d so far gotten the chance to perform Tarawih Prayer in the masjid (mosque) four times only. Aaron nowadays is not like Aaron a year back where I can perform solah as makmum while he played and crawled nearby. Aaron nowadays is a big boy already! (But he keeps claiming himself as baby). He runs, jumps, screams and cries whenever he likes. So, we must have new strategy to bring Aaron to the mosque.  We take turn.

Last Saturday, we went to Masjid Negara for Isya’ and Tarawih Prayer. Aaron was with the daddy for the first 8 rakaat. Then, I took him and let the daddy performed his Isya’ and 8 raka’at of Tarawih. This strategy is so far the best we could‘ve done and it was not bad at all. Apparently, many other parents did the same thing.

The question is, why bring kids to the mosque? They are still too young to enjoy the solah and in fact, they may interrupt the praying and other makmum as well.

My answer is simple:  Exposure. Ramadhan is, if I could say, the only month we are willing to spend our time go to the masjid (mosque) with sincere heart, without force. It’s the night where families congregate and go to the mosque to perform the solah together. It’s the night where we can meet relatives, neighbors, and friends. And it’s 30 nights! So you have 30 times of chances to go to the masjid and feel the excitement of the Ramadhan night (the prayer of course).

This is a good time to let our kids gain exposure of solah berjemaah. They may feel excited about the new environment. If usually they pray with us in the house, they now have the chance to see muslims from all races gather and perform the prayer together. It could also be a factor to uplift their spirit to perform the solah and make it as a routine, inshaAllah.

But kids will always be kids. They love to express their emotions out loud. They love sports in any kind, especially those involving racings like running. And they hate rules, especially those rules that seem to restrain them, physically and mentally. As masjid is the place full of serenity and most importantly is the place for Ibadah (solah), kids appear inappropriate to be in the masjid. Why? Because kids are noisy, and that against the rules.

That’s why parents have to be intelligent. Bring along all the kids’ necessity. Toys, books, drinks, pillow… But don’t expect too much. Kids will be kids. This is just to simplify your work, and decrease the chances of your kids getting frenzied.

 And it’s good to choose the big masjid that has bigger space at the back or outside so that the noise won’t really affect the makmum.

But if you think this will decrease you level of khusyu’ in solah (you can’t concentrate because you have to watch your kids and keep wondering whether they are all right with your spouse), then it’s better to perform solah in the house. InshaAllah, there’ll be next time.

But I personally don’t like the claim where kids in the mosque will disturb praying. Tell me, can you concentrate whole-heartily in a mute place? Really? Cause I can’t. I am an ordinary human being. I can’t achieve 100% concentration in my solah despite the soundless places. Yes I know we are not talking about 100% concentration here. We are talking about the chances of getting our concentration lesser. But it’s not fair to the kids as well if we put the blame on them while we by ourselves can’t achieve total concentration in our solah effortlessly. Come on! Let’s give the kids some prospects to feel the excitement of solah in the masjid (in their own way). It’s a good start for them to become accustomed to visit the mosque.  

And what about the parents who want to join solah berjemaah in the masjid but don’t have anyone else to take care of their children? They also want to feel the excitement, the nikmah of Ramadhan which comes only once a year. Give them a chance as well.

If you ask me, I am so delighted to see vibrant atmosphere in the masjid. It shows that the masjid has played its role in uniting the ummah, and obviously the best place to tighten ukhuwwah, shares happiness and educates children to the Islamic teachings practically. With all ages and all races of human in one roof performing the ibadaah, I feel so real. Islam is for all right?

P/s:  So to the caretaker of the masjid (mak guard actually), please don’t be so mean and kerek OK. In real daily life pun standard kan solah bising2 bunyi tvla, orang cakap2 la… Silap2 selalu kat surau pun orang besar yang bising. Bukan budak kecik.

P/s 2: can’t wait this coming Saturday. We plan to have iftor together (big family). Later I’ll upload more photos, inshaAllah.

Ramadhan: How to retain energy preggy mommy?

As-salaam alaikum.

How's everybody? How's fasting? Good huh? Alhamdulillah...
As for our family, we've been having sahoor together since day one. Yeah, together means with that (not so) tiny little tummy is included. Apparently, he wakes up earlier than the daddy. Ahha, sorry daddy. The son is a morning person and he has no problemo at all to wake up for sahoor. :D

Talking about fasting, I remember my fasting time during my pregnancy two years ago. I was about 4 to 5th months pregnant when Ramadhan came that year. Alhamdulillah, I'd passed fasting without fail. It wasn't that hard for me cause I wasn't a good eater during my pregnancy. Not a good eater, at all!

That was my story 2 years ago. Today, I witness three wonderful mothers striving their best to fulfill the Ramadhan fasting:-

The first one is my labmate, K. Su,- a 6 months preggy mother with a 15 months old toddler. She must have a very strong spirit to keep fasting while doing all the labworks and being a mother. As you may know, labworks are not easy. Handling chemicals, experiments, loading and unloading materials- these are not just challenging, but may also be dangerous! I know some of the experiments she is doing, cause I used to do that then. All I could say is, some of the chemicals used are very, very hazardous. One of it could intercalate your DNA if it penetrates your skin. How scary is that huh? :P And science experiments sometimes require you to stand for quite long, or if not, you have to walk to several places back and forth just to finish your work.

And...taking care of a growing up toddler is another completely challenging story :)

Same goes to my bestie, Puan Wafa, who is also a 6 months expectant mother with an energetic toddler in the house. She's a student, a mother, a wife... she's amazing!

Another one is my bestie since secondary school, Teacher Te'a. I can't imagine how she handles the naughty students everyday. I can't imagine her fasting days with the duties she carries on, plus her 7-8 months baby in her womb. That hasn't include the staircases and the long walking to each class! She told me that her doctor was not in favor to let her fasting during this holy month, afraid if the baby is malnutritions. But she wants to try. And she has not fail, yet. She said she's doing good. And she is confident the baby is also good.

And I believe there are a lot more wonderful preggy mothers out there striving hard to fulfill the Ramadhan fasting. InshaAllah, all your efforts gain rewards from The Almighty Allah. Ameen.

So here, I would like to share some tips to retain energy and nutrition while fastinng:-

1. NEVER miss sahoor
2. Drink a lot of plain water. Not necessarily during sahoor. You can drink at night.
3. Don't miss your supplement. Taking obimin alone should be enough. (for 2nd and 3rd trimester)
4. Some doctor will give you calcium tablet if you cannot drink milk and take less calcium base product. So don't miss it as well.
5. Sahoor with a healthy food. So that you could have enough vitamins and minerals the whole day
6. Ingest protein base products, as it takes longer time to get digested. Why? because protein slower the movement of food to the intestine. This means, you'll feel full for longer and hungrier later. Protein also have steady effect on blood sugar. This avoids quick steep rise of blood sugar as compared to carbohydrates, thus you don't get hypoglisemic (lack of sugar) easily. Protein from vegetable, poultry and fish are the best option. But, don't take excess protein base product and leave behind other needs. Key point: Make sure you eat a healthy diet. But it's good if you could maintain taking protein products in each diet.--> This doesn't mean you won't feel hungry. What's good about fasting if you don't feel hungry? fasting = hungry = totally make sense.
7. Iftar with also a healthy diet. Make sure you don't over stuff yourself. Leave greasy and oily foods at bay. 
8. Rest whenever necessary!
9. Keep yourself confortable

Anyway, always remember that fasting is not wajib for a preggy mother. Just break-fast whenever you think you and your baby couldn't afford fasting. Don't compare yourself with others, cause your body works differently with others. Your baby also 'eats' different amount of foods than other babies :P  

Happy fasting everybody!

Haaa, tak puasa ekkk!

AllahuRabbi, it's 2 a.m. already... Jangan terlajak bangun esok pagi udah le.... Takpe, Aaron volunteer jadi jam loceng almost every morning. Hehe

Salam Ramadhan, 1432H

Jame Al-Asr Mosque, Brunei Darussalam. 17/7/2011

Baby's safety VS Baby sale

Every wife would be very happy to know that she is pregnant. Regardless of how many times she has undergone pregnancy, each time brings the same joy to the family. However, the first time mom-to-be must be the most euphoric person on earth to have the chance to experience pregnancy. Everything must be perfect. Every detail must be in accordance to the plan.


It is totally OK to keep the whole lot in order. It’s OK to get early preparation for the new arrival of the family. But do you think it is OK to hook on baby’s preparation while at the same time the baby in the womb is taken less attention?


I am talking about one scenario that increasingly happens nowadays - Baby fair. Of course baby sale is awesome. It’s kind of a must for every mom to shop at baby fair these days. Mostly is because we can get almost everything in one roof. The price is quite reasonable though. But baby fair is always dense. The density is quite awful that you must bring along your mobile phone just in case you get separated from your company.  Cause there’s no way you could find them easily in the midst of a huge crowd.


So look at yourself, mommy. Are you fit enough to go to the fair? Will you tolerate the crowd? Can you gasp enough oxygen you have to share with other thousands of people around you? Remember, you are your baby shelter. If you are not comfortable, so does your baby.


I have a friend who is nearly in 7months of pregnancy when she first attended the baby fair. She was so excited from the day she knew about the fair. She prepared the list, the money, except for one thing; the hubby. Her hubby works thousands miles away from her for two months, starting July.The hubby was reluctant to let her go. But she insisted. She cried, begged, pleaded, until she got a feeble yes from her hubby. She’d promised to go with a friend and never let herself in trouble.


So she went to the fair with her girlfriend. It was OK at first. She bought many things for the baby. She got almost everything stated in the list. And so, she was very happy.But after 2 hours or so, she started feeling uncomfortable. The fair was getting more congested. Shoulders to shoulders, two ways had become one. She started feeling nauseas. Her feet numbed. Her ankles sore. She’d almost faint!


Her girlfriend called me anxiously, didn’t quite sure what to do. I wasn’t nearby and I couldn’t come so I just gave some simple instruction to soothe our poor preggy friend.


I was mad. Really, really mad. I know she’s excited. I know this is her first time. Of course I know. But I couldn't tolerate her safety, her baby’s safety either. She told us to keep this from her hubby, which is also our friend. That made me even mad.


To me, it doesn't matter how big the sale is and how cheap we could get for the baby’s items, but if we don’t really suit to be in the congested area like the fair, just don’t go. Yes I know she didn’t know things would turn out to be that hideous. But at least she could predict that. Of course she could. She’s 7 month old pregnant. And her husband is away. What if anything happen to her? That’s the main reason why her hubby was so reluctant to let her go.


You know, there’s always next time for baby sale. But there’s no next time for you and your baby’s safety. Same goes to the newborn baby. I still think big sale thingy is not a right place for a newborn baby.

 Wallahua'lam.